[Silent_tsol]

Ok so I keep saying I'm going to start T every week and I keep not for various excuses. Last week was right before Christmas and in the week before she had wished me a good Christmas so I figured she was busy /not working the next week.

Now I'm thinking the same thing for this week. I don't want to email her to book an appointment because I don't want to interrupt her holiday stuff. I know that if she's not working she'll just say so but I don't want to pressure her I guess.

I feel like I'm not a serious enough case to go in. And by that I mean ever. I was reading the other post about T's getting bored and I've seen her since November and I'm already convinced she sits there wondering "so why are you here exactly?"

[stopdog]

I do not think most of them require a certain level of issue or problem to justify seeing them. Instead of thinking they are thinking you are boring, perhaps you could reframe it into them thinking that you may be fun to work with and they know how to help you because you are not laboring under a super grim situation.

[Ygrec23]

Hey, Silent. I were you I wouldn't sell myself so short. Your T, whoever they may be, would be happy to scan you for mental problems and only too tickled to tell you you hadn't any in her judgment. For him or her, it would be like your going to your GP and getting a clear bill of health on your physical checkup.

But that may not be the case. You may indeed have the GAD you mention on your profile "About Me." And that GAD may point to other, deeper problems that ought to be worked out. What am I really saying? Well, it's this: No one has to have a labelled mental issue (BPD, NPD, Schizophrenia, Bi-Polar, etc., etc.) to be in serious need of attentive specialist care. If indeed you do feel anxious a lot, it's like a physical symptom that needs to be evaluated. Think of all those tiny physical symptoms that turn out to be important. A mole. A cough. An ache. You know. And lots of anxiety does indeed point to a serious, unresolved conflict somewhere in your psyche.

And don't ever, ever, ever worry about a T's being bored. That's their problem, if in fact it exists. If you had cancer, would you worry about your oncologist being bored? Accept it and face it. You do have a problem that makes your life less pleasant than it could be, and that's a fine reason to go see a specialist and explore it, with nobody on either side being bored. That is exactly what they're there for. Be confident. In going to see T you're doing the right thing. The right thing by yourself, by your T and by your family. And take care!

Originally Posted by Silent_tsol

Ok so I keep saying I'm going to start T every week and I keep not for various excuses. Last week was right before Christmas and in the week before she had wished me a good Christmas so I figured she was busy /not working the next week.

Now I'm thinking the same thing for this week. I don't want to email her to book an appointment because I don't want to interrupt her holiday stuff. I know that if she's not working she'll just say so but I don't want to pressure her I guess.

I feel like I'm not a serious enough case to go in. And by that I mean ever. I was reading the other post about T's getting bored and I've seen her since November and I'm already convinced she sits there wondering "so why are you here exactly?"

[roads]

Originally Posted by Silent_tsol

I'm already convinced she sits there wondering "so why are you here exactly?"

This really cracked me up! At the start of my second mtg with a new T a couple weeks ago, this is pretty much what he said!

So I'm thinking maybe you needn't worry ... Maybe they're inclined to vocalize basic questions such as this.

[beautiful.mess]

Originally Posted by Ygrec23

Hey, Silent. I were you I wouldn't sell myself so short. Your T, whoever they may be, would be happy to scan you for mental problems and only too tickled to tell you you hadn't any in her judgment. For him or her, it would be like your going to your GP and getting a clear bill of health on your physical checkup.

But that may not be the case. You may indeed have the GAD you mention on your profile "About Me." And that GAD may point to other, deeper problems that ought to be worked out. What am I really saying? Well, it's this: No one has to have a labelled mental issue (BPD, NPD, Schizophrenia, Bi-Polar, etc., etc.) to be in serious need of attentive specialist care. If indeed you do feel anxious a lot, it's like a physical symptom that needs to be evaluated. Think of all those tiny physical symptoms that turn out to be important. A mole. A cough. An ache. You know. And lots of anxiety does indeed point to a serious, unresolved conflict somewhere in your psyche.

And don't ever, ever, ever worry about a T's being bored. That's their problem, if in fact it exists. If you had cancer, would you worry about your oncologist being bored? Accept it and face it. You do have a problem that makes your life less pleasant than it could be, and that's a fine reason to go see a specialist and explore it, with nobody on either side being bored. That is exactly what they're there for. Be confident. In going to see T you're doing the right thing. The right thing by yourself, by your T and by your family. And take care!

This. This, this, this!!!

I have anxiety as well, and it is agonizing to live with. I am now finally putting some pieces of the puzzle together and am realizing that I have been suffering from this for the past 18 years (if not longer). On the outside, I look "normal" to the outside world (well, at least when I'm medicated, lol). It steams my clams to know that I could have started looking into this and helping myself a lot sooner and feeling better sooner had I taken it more seriously. It *IS* a big enough deal to see a T for.

You owe it to yourself to feel your personal best. That alone is enough of a reason to go, imo. If they are bored (which I would be surprised if they were), then you need to find a new T. That would be THEIR problem to fix, and should never blame the client for their boredom.

[Silent_tsol]

Thank you everyone

Ygrec,
I have been diagnosed with GAD but I have a tendency to minimize my issues because I'm borderline perfectionist. And part of perfectionism = not having problems -GAD or issues to lead me into therapy. When I started down this road it was a specific situation that left me with no idea how to move on. Since then, my life has somewhat rebalanced back to "normal" for me. So since I don't have this dire issue (and a different T than when I had said crisis- I haven't told new one details yet) I'm back to convincing myself that everything is ok. If that situation never came up, I doubt I'd ever have found my way into therapy. Even though I believe I've had gad since I was young

And the whole anxiety leading to something more, that's a big thing of what I'm afraid of and therapy puts me in danger finding out if there is a bigger thing

Beautiful.mess,
I think that's another thing; I don't have a 3rd arm growing out of my stomach so therefore I'm fine. Of course that's exaggerating it but I appear "normal" most of the time

[beautiful.mess]

Originally Posted by Silent_tsol

Beautiful.mess,
I think that's another thing; I don't have a 3rd arm growing out of my stomach so therefore I'm fine. Of course that's exaggerating it but I appear "normal" most of the time

Well, I guess I would ask then if you FEEL normal? If you feel OK, and don't think you need therapy right now, and can manage "stuff" on your own then you don't have to go if you don't want to. You don't need to look for a reason to see a T, and they will not think your reasons are trivial - you can appear relatively normal (to yourself and the outside world) but if you feel like crappola, or feel like you're going down that road, if you feel something is off and can't deal with it independently then call!

Or maybe you could call and just see how it goes for one session. Maybe you'll know one way or the other once you're there? That could also be an option.

Then again, maybe you DO feel that you need (even a tiny bit) to be there, but just don't feel up to it at this point in time? That is OK too. In that case, don't force yourself, because that would be counter-productive.

I agonized for years whether I should go to therapy. YEARS. Like you, I have a tendency to minimize everything, and didn't want to deal with it. Now that I'm there, I agonize whether I should continue, lol. But I just listen to my feelings; for now I just them guide the way.

Good luck!

[Silent_tsol]

I should be there. The normal is made possible by medication and I don't want to be on it forever. I just don't want to give her a topic that we should be talking about.

"tendency to minimize everything, and didn't want to deal with it. Now that I'm there, I agonize whether I should continue" this is it exactly. I'm trying to talk my self out of going.
" But I just listen to my feelings; for now I just them guide the way" and that's what I need to learn how to do (without anxiety interfering)

[beautiful.mess]

Originally Posted by Silent_tsol

I should be there. The normal is made possible by medication and I don't want to be on it forever. I just don't want to give her a topic that we should be talking about.

"tendency to minimize everything, and didn't want to deal with it. Now that I'm there, I agonize whether I should continue" this is it exactly. I'm trying to talk my self out of going.
" But I just listen to my feelings; for now I just them guide the way" and that's what I need to learn how to do (without anxiety interfering)

Ahhh, we sound so similar! Really! I take meds too, and always debate with myself (I have arguments with myself quite a bit, don't I? LOL) whether to stay on the meds or go off temporarily so that T can see me in my "natural state". I told him this once, and while he didn't recommend that I come off my meds, he did ask me questions about what it is like for me without them.

I know how hard this is. I wish there was an easy solution.

[Silent_tsol]

I was reading another post and came across this "I feel like I can not ask for anything that is not pre-offered to me"
I think this is another aspect of my situation.

"[I did tell me I could email him and ask if he had any cancellations. I can't quite pinpoint why I am not willing to do that.] I think I don't want to be needy?"
Although I'm not in the same situation, this could be why I don't want to be "caught" (by T) booking appointments every week.

[Ygrec23]

Originally Posted by Silent_tsol

I have been diagnosed with GAD but I have a
tendency to minimize my issues because I'm borderline perfectionist. And part of perfectionism = not having problems -GAD or issues to lead me into therapy. When I started down this road it was a specific situation that left me with no idea how to move on. Since then, my life has somewhat rebalanced back to "normal" for me. So since I don't have this dire issue (and a different T than when I had said crisis- I haven't told new one details yet) I'm back to convincing myself that everything is ok. If that situation never came up, I doubt I'd ever have found my way into therapy. Even though I believe I've had gad since I was young. And the whole anxiety leading to something more, that's a big thing of what I'm afraid of and therapy puts me in danger finding out if there is a bigger thing

No question, Silent, it's all up to you. But simply being able to label yourself doesn't make anything better. So you're a "borderline perfectionist." That's just another of the infinite number of excuses that can be invented in order not to go to therapy. If you're more "normal" now, that's fine. If you can live with yourself now, that's fine. But if as your life moves ahead and things happen and you for whateve reason don't really feel all that comfortable with what comes to pass, keep in mind that it may well be because of your own head problems rather than outside problems you think you perceive. And no, it's not scary or even offensive to understand you may have a need for therapy. You're not worth less because you go to therapy. It's a perfectly straightforward type of treatment for certain types of malady. All up to you, of course. Take care!

[CantExplain]

Originally Posted by Silent_tsol

I've seen her since November and I'm already convinced she sits there wondering "so why are you here exactly?"

Trust me, a T won't lose patience after two months!

[pbutton]

Originally Posted by Silent_tsol

I was reading another post and came across this "I feel like I can not ask for anything that is not pre-offered to me"
I think this is another aspect of my situation.

"[I did tell me I could email him and ask if he had any cancellations. I can't quite pinpoint why I am not willing to do that.] I think I don't want to be needy?"
Although I'm not in the same situation, this could be why I don't want to be "caught" (by T) booking appointments every week.

I bet we have a lot in common. Those are both my comments and I can tell you that I definitely relate to this comment of yours:

I feel like I'm not a serious enough case to go in. And by that I mean ever. I was reading the other post about T's getting bored and I've seen her since November and I'm already convinced she sits there wondering "so why are you here exactly?"

I often sit in the waiting room, looking around and thinking that the other folks around me need help and that T must wonder why I'm there wasting his time.

[Perna]

What were you hoping for when you wrote your original post in this thread?

Why is it problematical to you? If you do not go, do not think you can benefit from it, don't go; use the money saved for something else or save it up for the next emergency so you can afford to see someone then?

However, if you are not content with how you feel now, feel you are limited in going after what you want in life (or even wanting anything in the first place) because of your state of anxiety, that is a perfectly legitimate reason to see a therapist. GAD can be a very emotionally restrictive illness! Are you happy in your comfort zone or would you like it to be larger?

I use to be a walled castle; it was nice enough inside but now I also own all the land around it as far as the eye can see and can ride my horse out on the plain and enjoy the nearby towns' market places, festivals, creative way of living that is different from mine but fun to watch.

[CantExplain]

Originally Posted by Perna

I use to be a walled castle; it was nice enough inside but now I also own all the land around it as far as the eye can see and can ride my horse out on the plain and enjoy the nearby towns' market places, festivals, creative way of living that is different from mine but fun to watch.

What a lovely metaphor!

[Silent_tsol]

Yes perna, I am a walled castle, I've used the same metaphor with T. I explained that there were archers and wizards and electric fences and all sorts of things that stood in the way of letting someone into the castle. What that quote made me realize though, is that not only is the world locked out of my castle, I'm also locked out of the world. And yes, I do want to change that

I posted in hopes of someone challenging me. I can debate with myself all day long saying I don't want to go/i want to go. But I usually land back at square one without any verdict being established. Sometimes just getting the thought out of my head gives me a different perceptive from which I can hold the debate. Also if somebody answers "fine, do what you want", sometimes I can find the "right" answer, sometimes it knocks me off my fence. I'll get defensive but I'll fight on the side I feel I should be on.

The original post, was written about my fear of moving forward. My castle is pretty darn comfortable so the idea of changing anything about the situation leaves me stomping my feet like a toddler who doesn't WANT to go to bed.

[CantExplain]

Originally Posted by Silent_tsol

I posted in hopes of someone challenging me.
...
My castle is pretty darn comfortable.

OK, here's the challenge. Your castle is comfortable. There is only one problem: you are in there alone.

And you always will be alone unless you lower your defenses.

Maybe there is a back door where you can let in a few privileged visitors. But after a while, visitors get sick of using the back door and want to come in the front door. Do you know where the keys are?