Do you worry your therapist will get tired of seeing you?

Yes I worry about that. I really like my current T and struggle with whether or not I should continue therapy because I "should be" fixed by now.

My first T saw me weekly for the first few months, then she saw me monthly after that and at the end it was every 6-8wks. I felt like she was shoving me out the door and locking it behind me.

My first T was like this. Wherever she could fit me in. My current T likes to keep me on a specific day & time. It really helps ease my anxiety and when things get switched around at times I go into a panic.

That's interesting. My T never even suggested I join a group until I brought it up.

I worry about failing and about whether the t is competent, but not whether they are tired of me.

Yeah... I worry about that a lot.. But it's a fear of abandonment I guess. because it's not just fixed on T's. Those I'm close to, like best friends. Then I end up doing something stupid, and push them away, because I'm terrified they will leave me, in a self defeating coping skill i guess is what it would be called.

But I often worry that I will get close to a T, then they will suddenly leave. Or that they will get tired of me, and shove me out the door like a hot potato on to the next T, who then does the same pattern, and then i get left going "wtf!?" And many times i've gotten the classic "its not you, it's me" excuse.. *Shrugs* ....

WTF???? Nobody said that i did not need to shoulder the burden of being totally entertaining, beguiling, funny....changing, growing, and exceeding all previous therapy achievements while also being in therapy!!!

I did not get the memo!

So...I show up, week after week, feeling the pressure of bringing forth fascinating material that can be analyzed so that I can GROW!

Which has turned out to be totally counterproductive, actually! And hugely embarrassing.
Oh well.....I will continue....and thank you for the reminder of what therapy doesn't have to be. I am, after all, paying for this!!!!

We're all somewhat screwed up or we wouldn't be in therapy. But "how crazy am I?" isn't really a useful question. That's what I think.

It's a classical government attitude. They want to be seen to be doing something, but they don't want to spend enough money to do it properly. Health spending of all kinds is seen as a cost to be cut. Long waiting lists and shoddy service all help to keep the customers away!

yes i do.

Roseleigh, do you think you could talk to t about it directly?

I have had this concern for many years. I refer to it as 'being a PITA'. Set weekly appointment day/time, have been able to remain in this time slot for a long time. I am afraid to 'bother' her or 'drive her away'. Often feel too 'needy'.
T always tells me it's her job, her choice, and believes in being available to patients whenever possible. We have an 'agreement': if I am in serious need of support, I should call. If calls get too excessive, she will let me know, and we will try different approach.
I am also fortunate to have permission to e-mail, and can insert in subject line: HELP! or NOT IMPORTANT. Sometimes, if I'm just not sure what I really need, I will send email explaining what is going on, then follow up with phone message: "I sent you an email - not sure how important it is - please reply to this message or call me." I am blessed to have such a caring T. After SEVERAL years, she still isn't tired of me, always willing to do anything (within reason, of course!) to help me. Perhaps you can try asking if any of these are possible? Worth a try!

I am scared to. I want to ask him if i can keep seeing him indefinitely, but he might see that as me not wanting to work on stuff and get better.