Substitute T

My t is still gone.... Going on five months now
I dont know if the sub T is working out. Nice enough. But he seems to be completely opposite of what my T teaches me. He knows DID stuff ok. But i dont know ... Maybe i shouldnt waste my money. But then we'd never have someone to talk to?
I dont care enough yet after only 3 weeks to bring this up with him. I dont know. OUR T just needs to come home!!! (hopefully january)

that must be really hard not to have T. I hope she comes back soon.

Remind me Sarah, why has T been gone so long? Five months is a very long time!

Is there anyway you can choose your own sub T?
Chopin is right, five months is a very long time!

My main doc went on maternaty leave until Jan quite a few months ago, and I was having problems with the on call doc, and i asked them if I could just go somewhere else and choose my own "on call" doc until my doc comes back in Jan. And they were nice about it, and let me.

I can so relate. I didn't resonate at all with my substitute T.

Just because he does things differently doesnt mean it is wrong the way he does it. I dont know you very well but I think unless he is doing something detrimental I would stick with it. Remember he is just a standby until T gets home. Since you dont when T is coming home I think it would hinder further progress to not see any T. It is hard to try someone or something new but sometimes it is astepping stone to more progress and growth. You can still practice what T taught you...just go with the flow a bit longer.

That sounds really hard. What does he do that is the opposite of your T?

I'm glad you have someone to talk to until your "real" T comes home. This is only temporary. Of course he's not the same as your real T. But I'm sure he knows his stuff, and I hope he'll make you feel less alone as you go through this long, long waiting period. As long as he doesn't upset you, take advantage of the opportunity to work with a male T for a while. From what you've said previously, that was a concern of yours. This is a chance for you to have some one-on-one time with a male who should be supportive and understanding.

Our T is gone for a family emergency--taking care of a very ill relative. She calls us every week and emails sometimes, but its not the same as having her home. So I have this sub T-- he is someone I chose because a friend knows him and says he's really safe and good. And yes, absolutely just because he does "different" doesn't mean its detrimental--thats a good point.
His philosophies of treating DID are just different-- likes integrations, wants us all to talk to each other (not bad thing, but its not how we work), his ways of talking to the kids are very different, he only wants "one person" speaking for everyone else. Things like that. Again, not bad at all-- however we've tried those things, and it didn't ever work for us. Our T .... gosh I am not sure how to describe--but she has the same views of DID as we do-- we don't have to tell each other everything if it doesn't seem like its time to, she will keep each alter's secrets for them if they don't want to tell someone inside, she talks to the kids as one would talk to kids which is so validating for them. He keeps insisting we need to find the "real" person (we're all real!!) and have her come out and take over...which totally didn't work and we don't need it to work, because I handle things ever since the "real" (groan) person disappeared several years ago. And we don't view DID as a "disease" or something bad... its just a creative coping mechanism that we used to deal with life-- we are ok with having DID. Our T is the same way--its not bad to have DID. Its little things like that, I think, that are just a little bothersome.

Sounds like more than just a little thing.

One T treats your alters as people, the other treats them as impostors.

Do your alters trust this new T? I woudn't, if I was an alter.

Hmmm. I guess I view your alters as people, too.

Well, none of us trust him... It takes us years to trust people.

I am not sure what to do.

I just tried calling someone i used to see years ago ... We got along well. But i was told shes no longer there and they have no fowarding # for her