[delicatefade26]

So I walked out of the store tonight-I sit down in the car and I notice that T's car is parked a row ahead of me...I know he lives really close to me so I don't know why I was so shocked to see that he was at the same store...so I sit there for a minute because for some reason it sent all kinds of anxiety through me-and I even thought about walking back into the store so that I could see him...but then I remembered that I looked an absolute mess-I have broken blood vessels all in my face from being sick-and my eyes were red and puffy from crying after watching a movie...so I definitely decided against it. Then I see him through the window walking with his son coming out of the store-my stomach dropped-and I got all nervous-but I watched them walk out-put the groceries in the car...it was so weird-and I just kept thinking don't see me...i dont want him to think i'm stalking him or something lol! but seeing him with his son was what left me with soo many mixed emotions...
My biggest fear is running into him with his entire family or even worse if I were with mine...ugg! so I'm glad I didn't spend any more time on picking the ice cream out...and avoided it for now...but I know it's inevitable in this small town!!!

[stopdog]

Running into the therapist accidentally would be odd. I am glad you managed to dodge the bullet.

[Snakebit]

Yikes, that would get to me too. I have a bad habit of staring and I KNOW if I ever saw my therapist out with his family, I would stare a hole through them.

Luckily, where I live on one side of town and he lives on the other. I have intentionally not stopped at grocery store on his side of town before for the very reason you stated.

[granite1]

if i ever ran into my T outside of her office i would hope she would say hi at least but i doubt she would.usually she wont even say hi or anything if she even sees me in the office before our session.i remember one time she was behind the desk talking to the receptionist when i showed up for my appointment.i actually made eye contact with her and smiled a few times and she completely ignored me and continued on and then walked right bye me and went and did something before she came back and got me for my appointment.wow that hurt and i thought it was a bit extreme

[vanessaG]

Yikes! I secretly kind of wish I'd run into my t out of the office but I know if I did it would be really akward...no super akward for me!
I'm glad ur t didn't see you! That's good! Lol

[dizgirl2011]

I think it's natural to feel anxious or odd when seeing T outside our sessions but even more so when we see them with another member of their family.

I seen my T with her child a few months ago and it was really hard for me as I think it hit home how she has a life that really has nothing to do with me and I am pretty insignificant in her life (that's how I felt). Even though I pretty much knew that beforehand it was still hard.

[Betty_Banana]

My T and I actually had a discussion about this. We live in a small town and are bound to run into each other.

We agreed it would be best to just not acknowledge each other out in public. And even though I agree that it would be best, I'm sure being snubbed if/when I do run into him will feel strange.

IDK, If I do see him, I will prob. still say hi or something, because pretending we don't know each other will make it feel/seem like we are hiding something, like what we are doing is wrong.

[pbutton]

Originally Posted by granite1

i remember one time she was behind the desk talking to the receptionist when i showed up for my appointment.i actually made eye contact with her and smiled a few times and she completely ignored me and continued on and then walked right bye me and went and did something before she came back and got me for my appointment.wow that hurt and i thought it was a bit extreme

My T was once behind the desk talking to the receptionists when I showed up. He stopped talking and smiled at me. I wanted to run away screaming. Something about him being in the wrong place was a GIANT trigger for me. I just made a face at him, I'm sure the receptionists thought I was nuts. I was angry at him for the entire session and barely spoke.

We talked about it the next time and when he told me that some people may interpret his action as "Hey, he was waiting for me, how nice." That concept was SO foreign to me that I started laughing. I doubt I could produce that reaction even if I tried.

I don't even know what was wrong but I didn't want him in the wrong place. And I didn't want him listening to me checking in. I still feel this very very strongly. To the point where I was envious of your story, granite.

[stopdog]

I do not like running into people other than therapists outside of context too. It is odd and awkward to run into students or colleagues at the store or concert or whatever. Usually I do not recognize people out of context so it happens with me when they either speak to me at the store and I am like "who is this person?" or when we see each other next and they mention having seen me and I wonder if it seemed like I snubbed them when the reality is that I just did not recognize them. The good part about this is I don't really fear running into the therapist because I am fairly certain I would not know it was her even if she was in front of me,

[unaluna]

Originally Posted by pbutton

I don't even know what was wrong but I didn't want him in the wrong place. And I didn't want him listening to me checking in. I still feel this very very strongly. To the point where I was envious of your story, granite.

This so resonates with me. My mother always keeps her eagle eye and ear on me at family events, afraid i'll say something to embarrass her. When I was doing open-mike nights comedy in the 80's, she came to see me one night to evaluate my act, even though I asked her not to. That's what your post reminded me of, that she will do what she will, I have no control over my environment, she can intrude whenever she wants. wow. so I finally grew a boundary! now t is inside it, we're all comfy cozy, and she is outside it. But I was always outside her boundaries anyway; she let only my brother in.

[madisgram]

justme, i'm comfortable if i see my T outside therapy. a friendly hello is how i manage it. i don't go up per se and start a conversation however unless T prompts it.
i do recognize others may not feel as i do. what's comfortable for others may be different.

[REEG]

Interesting thread- I saw a T for a long time that had very loose boundaries. I met her kids, saw her at social functions and she once gave me a pic of her holding her ganddaughter.Lots of hugs and extra sessions at odd times. She was helpful during a hard time, but now I think created an unhealthy dependency.
I've been hyper aware of this risk as I get closer to my current T. This fall, I saw her in passing with her daughter, I was with mine and we were both shopping for homecomg dresses. There was that staring moment,that seemed to last forever. We exchanged a quick smile and a hi. We talked about it next session, and it was a healing moment. Turns out we were both concerned about the same thing- just keeping the contact short and NOT getting our daughters invoved. T could be trusted- I could be trusted! What a relief.

[learning1]

I was glad to find out my t lives in a different town than me.

Would it be easier for you to talk to your t in session about what you'd want him to do if you see him in public delicatefacade?

[rockymtngal]

Originally Posted by stopdog

I do not like running into people other than therapists outside of context too... Usually I do not recognize people out of context so it happens with me when they either speak to me at the store and I am like "who is this person?" or when we see each other next and they mention having seen me and I wonder if it seemed like I snubbed them when the reality is that I just did not recognize them.

Ugh! Me too! I feel like I need to make a disclaimer to everyone I know...I'm horrible with faces, if I'm acting weird it's probably because I have no idea who you are...