hard work

I'm finding it hard right now, analysing all the reactions and thoughts I am havinga s a result of te questionnaires I filled in last week for the psychology assessment. I have another session tomorrow - "about 2 hours" (so I was told) of computer based questionnaires. Part of me is looking forward to it, part of me dreading it. I'm not dreading the process, rather the repercussions.
I have so many things I want to add to what i told the psychologist last week. I want to add extra information and I want to seek his opinions and reassurance. I don't think that is going to be possible because he said the assessment will be run by someone else.
I'm trying not to get too hopeful. Those of you who read about my struggles to get this far may understand that. At the same time there is a spark of hope in me.
I'm tired of constantly analysing myself. I'm willing to change. I want to change. I just don't know how to change.

(((((((((((caroline))))))))))))

it IS hard work. however, it's so paying off for you right now and will continue to.

i'm proud of your work and the outcomes.

kd

Keep on working. It sounds like this psychologist is going to have a lot to work with, so hopefully he'll be able make a difference.

Try not to think too heavily about these assessments... let your T help you do that once all of the testing is done... I know how tossed about you must feel, but it does shortened the process for your T to get to know your issues.... TC

Hang in there. The testing will soon be over. part of the reason they do testing like this is so that there is no predictabilty of what the answers should be based on the person getting to know the person giving the tests too well. This way you are answering the questions based on you not what you think the person giving the tests wants you to answer. The computerized questionaires are yes and no, true or false. you color in the black dots. Some of the questions will repeat and some questions are totally off topic of your mental health symptoms. Keep calm and you will do fine. The totally off track questions like which would you rather be a carpenter or a house builder. they both contain carpentry work. One builds houses and the other does all kinds of woodwork. basically what those type of questions are asking things like do you like variety (carpentry - wood statues, wood houses, wood funature, wooden toys,,,,,) or predictability (housebuilding, house building, house building). Good luck.

Thank you kimmy. You are, as ever, so encouraging.

Thank you Ben. I have to wait and see if he decides I can be helped. Then I have to see who is allocated to work with me - it probably won't be him, from what he said.
I hope they do decide to give me some psychotherapy.

Thank you Sky. Yes, I guess I am thinking too hard about it. There are two levels; one is the possible avenues to work through somem of the issues (and that is the one I suspect I should leave well alone) and the other is the issues (memories etc) brought up by the questions themselves.
Thank you. I can see the point of all this. I think part of what is making it harder is not knowing if they actually will help me at the end of the testing.

Thank you, myself. Yes, I understand about avoiding people like me trying to second guess the questionnaires! I was careful NOT to investigate the origin of the one I brought home until after I had filled it in.
The computerised test doesn't worry me - only the things thrown up by it.
Thanks for answering.

Caroline,
I know all this is hard work and probably brings up issues for you.

But it will be all worth it in the end.

This is the beginning of something really great, for you.

Hopefully they will give you a really great psychologist/ therapist to work with.

Don't forget to give yourself a big pat on the back after all that hard work.

Thinking of you.

Thank you so much, Pegasus. I read your message just after returning from a VERY hard session of questions. Got upset a couple of times. Feeling drained. To come here and read your message is a real encouragement. Thank you!