am I crazy?

I told T2 about a day with "T1" when I decided to finally reveal something that I had kept hidden all my life, with a high fence around it, barbed wire, keep out signs etc
and that after I told it, T1 had got up, walked around the room, stood there while I sat, and asked me questions. And that a few months later i asked her why she'd done that, and she said.... hm... I didn't.
She didn't, and yet I remember it very clearly.

Last week when I came home from first meeting with T2, I recalled her room, very large, and how it felt to sit under a light the whole time. This week when i went back I was stunned to find the room less than half the size I remembered it, and there are no lights in there that could give the effect which I remember very well.

I told T2 and with a little smile she was like, hm, well that walll has always been here. Now I am getting worried ... am I crazy?

I do not think it is that odd. I cannot remember the color of the t's couch (it is bright but it may be yellow or red or orange - I just do not remember) and I have been going for a year and a half. Also the room is always dark in my memory and each week I am always surprised when it is light in there. Also I cannot remember really what she looks like even though I remember her voice. So it seems rather usual to me that your memory and the particulars of the room may not match up.

((((Sawe)))) of course you're not crazy, you took a big step and opened up, perhaps you remember T reacting differently because you disclosed something really private, like a self-preservation thing? As for room, you'd only been once maybe it seemed bigger because it was scary the first time you went? Could be totally wrong here, sorry if I am. There's stuff I don't remember in T's room, sometimes it's like going into a new room. you're definitely not crazy though so please don't worry

(((Sawe)))

Me and T sit in the same place every session, I distinctly remember my T sitting over by the window during one session. Well...he didn't. I don't know why I remember him there. I was planning on asking him my next session.

Your not alone.

You're definitely not crazy! If this make you crazy, I'm more than crazy too!! For T1 one, I'm pretty sure what you remember is right; she probably just forgot how she reacted after a few months...

For the room stuff, I've been with my t for more than a year and cannot even tell you what color is his office (it's something like blue/gray??, but don't know exactly which color). I remember one day after something like 6 months, I asked him if he had moved the angle of the chair I was in (I was pretty sure he did cause I had the impression I could not see a paint in the same angle than I use to) and he gave me a strange look and just said... well, it would be pretty hard since it's screwed there!! ha!ha!

I think that what happens in that room can be so emotionally intense and overwhelming that we just "check out" a little and aren't 100% present with our surroundings.

I've remembered sessions where I am behind the couch watching myself talking to T. The couch is against the wall, and I'm pretty sure I didn't leave my body...the brain is an amazing, powerful, and pretty confusing thing sometimes.

((((SAWE))))) What you describe makes so much sense! In fact, I have things like that happen in session a lot. One time I actually experienced T standing up and rushing over to my right side (where there is the end of the couch and then his end table in the corner against the wall - aka, no place to stand if he did want to go there). Then I experienced him yelling into my ear on that side as loud as he could.
He has never even raised his voice at me that I can recall!

I asked T about all that and he said that he experiences the same thing at times when he is overloaded. He said it was very normal for the mind to magnify things or percieve things out of context when it was stressed or triggered. It is the brain trying very hard to figure out what is going on so it can stay safe.

No Sawe you're not going crazy. Ive been seeing my T for six years. I can tell you what his bookshelves look like and that he has pictures of his family but other than that, don't ask me to describe anything in his room. I too kind of get the feeling of zoning in on the therapy and blanking everything else out except my T and his voice - everything else kind of blurs.
So join the club, you're not alone

not crazy. not alone, either. A Club of us, in fact.....all human and unable to recall each detail perfectly.

This stuff is hard and intense, and memories get a bit warped!

Go figure!

Now, I'm obsessing because I cannot picture what color the walls are, even. So, you're not crazy unless we all are.

Feeling stupid cause you don't notice the obvious, in T and life at large?

Try this on:

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Inattentional_blindness

Not at all! My T and I sometimes had to change rooms and have our session in the clinic director's office instead of the tiny therapist's office she normally borrowed. Once we were sitting in the well-appointed :-) many window, comfortable chair with footstool director's office and were talking about the other office and our impressions of it and we were quite interested in how I viewed her seat in the other office, etc., which wasn't the way I imagined. I had seen the T in another office long before and far away and we talked about that one then too and our very different memories.

Our perception colors all our memories and experiences and we put in stuff and take out stuff depending on what we need; memory can be very much like dreams in some respect, where we are the creator and put in our own symbols, etc. Our world is as unique as we are!

My therapist was easily 4-6 inches shorter than I was and 150 pounds lighter and in the small therapist's office we normally used, I often felt like I was hulking over her. But the feeling would come and go; some days the difference didn't seem as great as others.

No. When I think about where I sit and where my therapist sits, she always seems so far away. At my last session, i realized (after almost a year), how close we actually are.

Perceptions can be weird and disconcerting.