I love this place. Most of my therapy issues are to do with my feelings for T, and for that, PC is the best place on earth

But sometimes, my issues are specific (or at least feel specific) to the model of therapy I'm doing, and it can get really lonely. In schema therapy right now I feel like a tiny boat out on open water, knocked every which way by the wind, and I guess I want to hear that this is a normal phase (even a positive development?) and it passes...

I've got books on ST, but they're written for Ts not clients. when I was in a similar situation with DBT, I started a blog and made some connections with other clients that way. But I feel too weary to do it all over again for ST.

Do you get lonely in therapy with 'model specific' issues? What do you?

PS Funny story. I tried searching for 'schema therapy' on PC, but in order to 'prove I'm human' I had to know who the second president of the United States was. I don't. So I don't get my search! I came here to check I was 'normal' and I'm leaving here with my very human-ness called into question!

[rainbow_rose]

i'm sure my response isn't much help - i don't have any experience in therapy re: what you are asking. but i have experienced it in other things.

sorry you feel lonely tho.

p.s. i hate that question re: the 2nd president. did you try to search again, i think it alternates with other questions.

[pbutton]

Wow, what an oddly specific "human" question. Isn't it usually stuff like "What color is the sky?"

My therapy is all over the map, so I can't help with model specific stuff. I have been reading quite a bit about schema therapy since you mentioned it in my thread. T also mentioned schemas in my session; I think he has started handing me a vocab word because he knows I'll google the crap out of it. So I can't help but I can certainly listen if you'd like to be heard.

Oh, and John Adams if it helps.

[rainbow8]

Improving, I know what you mean because not too many people do IFS or EMDR like my T does with me. But more are familiar with those models than with schema therapy. Still, I often feel weird when I post about my parts and what my T says to me during a session. The same with EMDR. No one quite understands it they haven't been there. Good luck in finding others who do schema therapy.

[athena2011]

Originally Posted by Improving

right now I feel like a tiny boat out on open water, knocked every which way by the wind, and I guess I want to hear that this is a normal phase (even a positive development?) and it passes...

I am in Psychoanalysis a so called 'transference based therapy'. I believe Schema therapy is transference based too. I used almost the exact analogy in session. A small boat getting knocked about in open water, waiting for the coastguard. The coastguard came, then left again without me then never fully came back, even after a year. For me, it started out as distrust, then I think it was the experience of extreme gratitude to him for making me feel better with all his empathy and validation that made me feel 'rescued'. But then, it felt like reality hit me in the face and I realized he was only human and I started feeling let down and now abandoned. Or, to follow along with the analogy - the coast guard decided to put me back on my little boat - they didn't completely abandon me, they just sat there a few metres away watching me get tossed about. Trying to decide if I was worth rescuing or not. Kind of like neglectful parenting - they are present but not really there for you.

I suggest you try to find a pattern in it as you go along. No doubt it will eventually miimic something in your other relationships.

Thank you so much everyone.

rainbow_rose, thanks for the hug and for empathising with my lack of knowledge of US history

pbutton, glad that you've been finding it helpful to read about schema therapy. Maybe soon I won't be all on my own here And thank you for offering to listen- truly.

rainbow, thank you for understanding. Interestingly, I feel like I know quite a lot about IFS and EMDR even though you are the only person I know who uses these models. That must be because you are quite proactive about explaining them. So perhaps I just need to be a bit more proactive and explain the context when posting here. My feeling at sea very much relates to feeling almost 'pushed around' by my 'parts', only ST calls them 'modes'.

athena, thank you for the reminder to look for patterns in what happens between me and T and in my real life.

[rainbow8]

When I looked up schema therapy I found some of it was similar to IFS. You were the one who suggested it to me, weren't you? Sorry if I forgot. Being pushed around by your parts or modes, as you say, is what my T tells me isn't good. She says "your parts are running the show". What we are trying to do is give you more of a sense of Self so that it is your Self who is in charge, not your parts.

I'd love to hear in more detail how schema therapy works!

[unaluna]

I have a book on it, that I can actually access! (I think!) I would love to see a discussion thread on this, like elliemay's thread on if feelings aren't facts. okay, there IS about a foot of crud in front of the bookcase, but i'm working on it, honest!

Originally Posted by rainbow8

She says "your parts are running the show".

Yes, this! Exactly this. Thank you, rainbow (and rainbow's T) for capturing it so perfectly

I feel completey over-run by all these 'parts' I didn't even know I had until recently. It is utterly disconcerting. I feel like an empty shell, filled one minute with the need of the vulnerable child, the next minute with the rage of the angry child, the next by the punishing thoughts of the punitive parent, and the next by the deadness of the detached protector. I feel like what I thought was 'me' has suddeny shattered into pieces and they don't fit together. I literally see myself 'flipping' from mode to mode, moment to moment, and this is the worst fairground ride I've ever ridden

Like you say rainbow, the aim of schema therapy is to strengthen the healthy adult. She's the one who looks after the the vulnerable child, sets limits for the angry child, moderates the detached protector and banishes the punitive parent.

But at the moment, the others are louder and stronger. They jostle for prime position. They whisper seductively in each other's ears. They shout each other down. And I (who is the 'I'?) must just ride this out, I think. This is that uncomfortable stage I experienced in DBT too- the stage where I can see what is happening but can't yet change it...

Originally Posted by hankster

I have a book on it, that I can actually access! (I think!) I would love to see a discussion thread on this, like elliemay's thread on if feelings aren't facts. okay, there IS about a foot of crud in front of the bookcase, but i'm working on it, honest!

I'm honoured that you are thinking of spring cleaning in the quest to better understand schema therapy! Hope you're not buried under the dust bunnies

[Kacey2]

Hey Improving,
I can't add anything on ST but I do want to say that I am terribly sorry that you feel lonely. I want to encourage you to post more about your experience, maybe it would feel less alone just to say it. Also from a selfish perspective, I love reading all the things you post because I think you are such an intelligent, well written, funny gal. I still LOL at your post, "My name is Improving and I am not a grown up." Love it! Miss hearing from you.