Do you ever wonder If your T thinks about you?

I got out of a super hard session today....maybe I will post about it.

But sometimes, it makes me feel better when I imagine my T thinking , or worried about me...At the same time it makes me feel like an idiot, Like im a spoiled attention seeker...but...sometimes it makes me feel less alone.

Also the fact that when I was telling her something today, she got teary eyed kinda, and told me she believed in me and that she was going to work with me..to *unbury* me.

It made me wonder if she thinks about me outside of sessions..

Do you ever wonder this? (share any thoughts or experiences or anything you want to share about your T sessions or what this makes you feel)

My t says she does ... I hope its true.

My t has made a point of telling me that he did or would think of me at specific times. It meant a lot to me that he would think of me other than when he's being paid to do it. It sure sounds like your t must think of you outside of your session based on what you said she said. In general, my t seems a lot less concerned about me than that, and he still says he thinks of me, so I think your t must have strong feelings for you. I think it's good that you want your t to care about you- much healthier than people who can't accept anyone caring about them in my opinion.

Hm I often wonder the same thing. I know he does because he gets my emails out of session...which would make him think of me.

But still wonder if he ever worries about me.

I know mine does, just the other night mine called me (after hours) and said I've been thinking about this and had an idea I just needed to share with you right away... then she told me her idea and I told her its worth a try and will let her know how it went at my next session. then I told her to "get a life will ya before you crash and burn" that's when she told me usually she does leave work at the office but sometimes like an intrusive thought something will come to her during her personal time. she has learned to honor these intrusive thoughts about her clients and sessions, otherwise shes in for a rough night of her clients and sessions invading her dreams and waking moments alike. we both had a short conversation how sometimes this happens, then we hung up going back to our respective personal lives again.

schoez, I know it is super to be validated and she has done that for you. My T has a great memory for everything I have said to him. He hears sad problems every week day however, he has a family with children; so I truly hope he does not take my (problems) home with him. Carrying everyone's sad burdens is truly a emotional drain on one I would think. I certainly hope he does not think of me except during our sessions where he gives me his full attention. I think many Ts burn out because they
can't stop looking for solutions for people they are so very much wanting to help.

I know I have been around friends that are sad so much of the time....if I don't withdraw from them to a larger degree that I could be terribly depressed.

Maybe this is not comforting to you, but might give you an idea of the other
side of the coin. Ts are well trained, but they are human too.
hugs, bj

my t recently told me that she doesn't forget about me between sessions. i'm not sure if that's the same thing as actually thinking about me, though. in fact, now it makes me question it completely.

i'm a pessimist by nature, so if my t ever did tell me she thought about me between sessions, i wouldn't believe her. i would think she was only telling me what i wanted to hear. but then again, i think that about a lot of things she says, so who knows.

I agree I wouldn't want my t to think about his clients too much, and my guess is his other clients would have more urgent issues that he'd be more likely to think about than I do. However, it sure doesn't sound like shoez is asking for anywhere close to excessive consideration. It sounds more like she might tend to want too little for herself, since she was worried about wanting her t to even think about her at all. It seems like it's normal for t's to think about clients outside of session a little.

It is very natural for a T to think of a client when something in the daily world happens which may remind them of the client or an issue they are facing.
In fact, I would think it was a rare T who didn't have thoughts about clients at random times!

I think it is only natural for T to think about most of their clients here and there, outside of thier office. I also, think it is natural for us their clients to wonder about it. Before seeing the T that I see now, I had a couple of sessions with another guy in his practice and the T mentioned that he was praying for me in between sessions (he is a christian, I am.. we had a spirtual aspect to our sessions)... That made such an impression on me!!

I know my T does and has mentioned a few times specific examples-it's kinda weird but really it makes me feel connected and cared for! He has told me he prays for me-and that just touches something so deep and powerful for me-I know it's tough to find good T's who also incorporates Faith into the therapeutic process (when desired by the client) so I would not give T up for anything!! <3 I always wonder if they have thoughts of clients at innaproproate or weird times...and if they get annoyed by that..does that make sense?

I believe my T does because:

1. She told me generally she thinks about her clients outside of session.
2. She told me the session after my dog died that her dog got lost that morning and it reminded her of me when it happened because she feared her dog might die also.
3. She has copied and brought things for me to read several times that reminded her of me when reading for her own pleasure; usually parts of books she wanted me to read. These have been folded with my name written on them.
4. A couple of times when I have emailed her she has emailed back saying she will pray for me.
5. I think of my own MR/DD clients outside of work; usually under the following conditions: (1) I am worried about one or more of them for one reason or another, (2) If something in life reminds me of one or more of them, (3) Someone asks me about them, (4) I miss them sometimes.

I want to chime in!

Yes, I wonder if she thinks about me, and sometimes its because I WANT TO BE SPECIAL I WANT HER TO CAREEE (((big flashing lights and hopeful whining and exclamation points and such))) and sometimes its because I'm terrified I'll burn her out or make her feel bad and well I feel guilty/scared.

But! She has told me of some times when she has thought of me. Like, one time watching a movie. And another couple of times she looked to see if I was working when she was stopping by my store. Andddd... maybe that's kind of it. I think she used one of my metaphors with a patient once.

She HAS told me that she has accepted that she is just someone who takes her work home (i.e. her feelings/thoughts about clients) sometimes. That she can't always be intensely focused on her clients and then BEEP BEEP the clock turns to 5pm (or 7pm or whenever she finishes her work day) and she suddenly shuts everything off and totally forgets about her work day. I think what she was trying to intimate is that she's human and that, yes, she is affected by the other people in her life. And she has to do self-care but you know what? Sometimes she just thinks about her clients. They're ("You are--!") important to her. So tough.

Haha. That's basically what she said. I imagine for a lot of therapists it's the same way. Sometimes I wonder if my therapist over discloses... lol

I am guessing she does think of me along with her other clients.
I think of my students beyond my normal day and figure out ways to help them to grow, so I'll bet it is the same for my t. I am also betting that these are just passing thoughts because she needs to focus on her family first outside of work.
My sister-in-law used to work for a group of therapists and she said that the conversation of clients came up quite often outside of work, especially when they all headed to happy hour. Like any "job" they found it helpful to discuss clients with each other in order to process and wind down.

Bluemountains

Dude. I just realized that T must think of his patients. I can think of 3 examples where he brought up other patients (in the world's most generic terms) in little stories to help me. Two current patients and and an old patient.

I'm pretty sure he doesn't bring up pbutton stories. I mean, what's he going to say? "I have this patient that makes mean faces when I tell her that I like working with her." haha.. I don't think that will help anyone else.

My T has told me several times about thinking about me outside of session. Let me see. One time he said he was fly fishing in a river in Arkansas while on vacation and he came to an insight about me. He shared the insight (which I don't remember at all).

Another time he said he was doing his morning bike ride and realized he was up in my neighborhood and thought about me then.

Then he was watching a movie and a character said something that made him think of me. If I remember right, he wished I could get to the point of thinking like that character. It was some obscure movie that I never bothered hunting for and at this moment I can't think of the title.

Those are three times that I can think of off the bat that he thought of me outside of session. I'm sure there are others. I mean, I think about many of my students outside of school hours (and I have A LOT of students).

T also talks about past clients he's had from time to time in reference to something we are talking about in my therapy.

I can't really imagine why that one I see would do so. I would prefer if she could manage to pay attention and get it right while I was there.

Your T definitely thinks about you. It's impossible not to. What you have is a relationship, albeit a unique one. They can't not think about you. You come up when they write their notes or when something simply reminds them of you. You mean something to them. Trust me. I am a T and I have also been in my own therapy for 24 years! Yes, childhood trauma creates issues. I can honestly say I think about every client I encounter. My T and I talk about this, too, and he says he thinks about me all the time. It feels really good knowing this, doesn't it?

No. Not to me.

I'm guessing my T tries not to think about her patients when they are not there.
I'm also guessing that she does anyway.

You'd be surprised...Ive been told that (stg. really similar to be honest) and it did help me.

The one I see sometimes tells me about other clients and I usually wonder why or what is the point and what difference it is supposed to make to me. I find it annoying.

My T told me one of his friend's kids starting riding horses recently and he thinks of me every time his friend or the kid talks about horses. He said he wishes pretty often he could have me teach him to ride and go riding on trails with me. He is careful to say we cannot actually do that.

Do you mind if I ask how it helped? I've been wracking my brain and I can't come up with anything.

Do you ever wonder If your T thinks about you?

no, for me it's more "do you ever wonder what your T thinks about you"
answer is definitely yes, and whether she goes through all the variations on "WTH have I gotten myself into with this new client SAWE".

What was that old Paul Simon song... "Fifty ways to leave your client..."