[yang0868]

I am marching into T today to tell her how hurt I am.

[granite1]

do you want to share what is going on or practice what you want to say here jumping in you pocket for support if you want

[pbutton]

Wow, you do seem very determined. That's really inspiring. May the force be with you.

[SallyBrown]

Woohoo! Do it!!

And please tell us how it goes.

[yang0868]

Originally Posted by pbutton

Wow, you do seem very determined. That's really inspiring. May the force be with you.

Thanks my fellow obi wan.

[yang0868]

Originally Posted by SallyBrown

Woohoo! Do it!!

And please tell us how it goes.

Oh god, do you really want to know? I'm afraid I'm not going to like what T has to say.

[yang0868]

Originally Posted by granite1

do you want to share what is going on or practice what you want to say here jumping in you pocket for support if you want

Well, I wrote a letter so I don't get side tracked which happens often. I don't know if I should post it here. BTW, thanks for riding along granite1.

[Chopin99]

Originally Posted by yang0868

Well, I wrote a letter so I don't get side tracked which happens often. I don't know if I should post it here.

I've posted letters and such, so if you want to, feel free. If not, that's okay too!

I'll ride along!

[Sannah]

You go!....

[yang0868]

Originally Posted by Chopin99

I've posted letters and such, so if you want to, feel free. If not, that's okay too!

I'll ride along!

Thanks for all your support. I would really like feedback on my letter but I'm scared to post it up here. I'm afraid my T may be one of those Ts that lurks around on PC.

[shoez]

Youve inspired me to do this for my next session.
*hugs to u* Let us know how it goes!

[Chopin99]

Originally Posted by yang0868

Thanks for all your support. I would really like feedback on my letter but I'm scared to post it up here. I'm afraid my T may be one of those Ts that lurks around on PC.

I would never tell my T what forum I'm on. I sure don't want her lurking!

[yang0868]

Ok, I will post the letter for a little bit then I'm erasing it in fearing that my T will know it's me. So have at it while you can.

T,
,
This is really hard for me to bring up and I tried on several occasions to forget about what happened, but I can't get them out of my mind. As you know trust and honesty is very important to me and I feel a little let down by your actions, along with your receptionists. I feel as though I have been lied to by both your receptionist and yourself about my appointment that needed to be cancelled- and it really hurt my feelings. As you know because I have mentioned it to you before, I already struggle just trying to get in for appointments booked ahead in your schedule and there has been several occasions where I wanted to just give up and stop coming here because of the way I am treated by your front desk, but I continue to tough through it, as uncomfortable as it is, because I believe you are worth fighting for to see. You have helped me in so many ways and I want to continue to see you so you can continue to help me heal. I just want to have mutual respect, openness, and honesty with one another. I don't want to shut down again, I've come too far and I believe that continuing to see you truly will help me heal. How can I heal from this hurt and feeling of being let down and lied to?

I think that if this incident happened about 6-7 months ago, it wouldn’t have affected me this badly. It’s different now. I find myself missing you a lot. There are many days where I’m told that I’m worthless, stupid, a waste of people’s time and energy, and I should just go die because it will give the earth room for much better people to live on it. I miss you so much because not once have I heard such things from you. I feel accepted and it’s what I’ve longed for so much. When I think of my safe place, my thoughts automatically come here. It’s so safe with you here. I long for safety. I’m so grateful to have you in my life even though our time together is limited. There have been times that you have touched my heart so deeply I find it hard to express my feelings about your actions.

I like you so much that it hurts. I didn't think I could come to have these feelings of genuinely liking someone again. I disliked the world and the people who inflicted trauma upon me. I was ready to give up on life completely. I was lost and you rescued me somehow. Thanks to you, I've opened up more to family and friends. You've helped give me the strength, courage, confidence, and guidance I desperately needed and still do to reach out to my love ones. Now I spend time with my sisters more than I ever did before and I’ve become so close with my friend who moved far away. You have a very special place in my heart now because when I need strength to help me make it through really hard days, I think of your kindness and somehow it makes things much more tolerable. I don’t think I could ever thank you enough for all your help. I want to move past this hurt but I need your help.

(Any feedback is greatly appreciated)

[yang0868]

Originally Posted by Chopin99

I would never tell my T what forum I'm on. I sure don't want her lurking!

I would never tell her eithier

[Chopin99]

Originally Posted by yang0868

Ok, I will post the letter for a little bit then I'm erasing it in fearing that my T will know it's me. So have at it while you can.

T,
,
This is really hard for me to bring up and I tried on several occasions to forget about what happened, but I can't get them out of my mind. As you know trust and honesty is very important to me and I feel a little let down by your actions, along with your receptionists. I feel as though I have been lied to by both your receptionist and yourself about my appointment that needed to be cancelled- and it really hurt my feelings. As you know because I have mentioned it to you before, I already struggle just trying to get in for appointments booked ahead in your schedule and there has been several occasions where I wanted to just give up and stop coming here because of the way I am treated by your front desk, but I continue to tough through it, as uncomfortable as it is, because I believe you are worth fighting for to see. You have helped me in so many ways and I want to continue to see you so you can continue to help me heal. I just want to have mutual respect, openness, and honesty with one another. I don't want to shut down again, I've come too far and I believe that continuing to see you truly will help me heal. How can I heal from this hurt and feeling of being let down and lied to?

I think that if this incident happened about 6-7 months ago, it wouldn’t have affected me this badly. It’s different now. I find myself missing you a lot. There are many days where I’m told that I’m worthless, stupid, a waste of people’s time and energy, and I should just go die because it will give the earth room for much better people to live on it. I miss you so much because not once have I heard such things from you. I feel accepted and it’s what I’ve longed for so much. When I think of my safe place, my thoughts automatically come here. It’s so safe with you here. I long for safety. I’m so grateful to have you in my life even though our time together is limited. There have been times that you have touched my heart so deeply I find it hard to express my feelings about your actions.

I like you so much that it hurts. I didn't think I could come to have these feelings of genuinely liking someone again. I disliked the world and the people who inflicted trauma upon me. I was ready to give up on life completely. I was lost and you rescued me somehow. Thanks to you, I've opened up more to family and friends. You've helped give me the strength, courage, confidence, and guidance I desperately needed and still do to reach out to my love ones. Now I spend time with my sisters more than I ever did before and I’ve become so close with my friend who moved far away. You have a very special place in my heart now because when I need strength to help me make it through really hard days, I think of your kindness and somehow it makes things much more tolerable. I don’t think I could ever thank you enough for all your help. I want to move past this hurt but I need your help.

(Any feedback is greatly appreciated)

Your letter is excellent; very articulate and meaningful. Seriously, I would not change a thing!

[yang0868]

Originally Posted by Chopin99

Your letter is excellent; very articulate and meaningful. Seriously, I would not change a thing!

really? I feel a bit better knowing this. Thank you.

[Chopin99]

Originally Posted by yang0868

really? I feel a bit better knowing this. Thank you.

Seriously; you open up, tell T your feelings (good and bad), and want to clear up the issue at hand. Your writing skills are very good and if I was a T, I would want to resolve the issue. Your gratefulness for her work in your life is very apparent. Good luck to you!

[SallyBrown]

Your letter is great! The only thing is, perhaps you could put in a really explicit description of what happened, "the facts". You called, found out your appt had been cancelled, but T didn't know why (and didn't do anything about it). Then T rescheduled you, but you found out that was for a day when she wasn't in.

(I don't remember whether this is exactly what happened, it's just an example.)

It's just best to at least be on the same page about exactly which incidents are making you feel this way, to avoid any extra layers of confusion... it's going to be hard enough to talk about your feelings around it without also having to remind her and re-explain what actually happened.

[yang0868]

Originally Posted by SallyBrown

Your letter is great! The only thing is, perhaps you could put in a really explicit description of what happened, "the facts". You called, found out your appt had been cancelled, but T didn't know why (and didn't do anything about it). Then T rescheduled you, but you found out that was for a day when she wasn't in.

(I don't remember whether this is exactly what happened, it's just an example.)

It's just best to at least be on the same page about exactly which incidents are making you feel this way, to avoid any extra layers of confusion... it's going to be hard enough to talk about your feelings around it without also having to remind her and re-explain what actually happened.

Wow SallyBrown, you have a good memory in that it's about scheduling issues. It really is going to be hard retelling the incident. I told her once and she seemed confused. I feel like tell her twice and I'll lose her completely.

[yang0868]

ok, I went into detail with what happened that caused the hurt. Is that good? Is there less confusion now? Please let me know.

T,

This is really hard for me to bring up and I tried on several occasions to forget about what happened, but I can't get them out of my mind. As you know trust and honesty is very important to me and I feel a little let down by your actions, along with your receptionists. I feel as though I have been lied to by both your receptionist and yourself about my appointment that needed to be cancelled- and it really hurt my feelings. I never questioned why it needed to be cancelled. I just assumed that you were out of the office that day. I should have just left it at that. Things took a turn for the worst when that receptionist wouldn’t let me reschedule for Monday Feb 6th at 8 am. So I settled for Friday the 10th at 2 pm. Then you would say that you have changed you schedule for that day. What troubled me most was when you stated that you wondered what it was about that my appointment on the 8th was cancelled. Then it made me question why I would receive a call from the clinic stating that my appointment needed to be cancelled. It felt like I wasn’t given an honest or straight answer at all from anyone. It troubles me because I would appreciate a reason as to why my appointment would need to be cancelled. The troubled feelings turn to hurt when I had to go and asked a different receptionist last week after I saw you if you are going to be in the office on Feb. 8th and the receptionist said that you would be in the office but you are completely booked that day. I asked if there was anything else available that week and she said "No." I thanked her for checking and she said "It doesn't hurt to ask." I said "Right" but honestly, it hurt SO much more. I asked just to get an idea as to why my appointment "needs to be cancelled" on Feb 8th. I was hoping it would be because you were going to be out of the office but after hearing from the receptionist that you will be in the office that day but your schedule is full, I can only conclude that my appointment was given to someone else. I'm hurting so much from this because I feel like I've been lied to. As you know because I have mentioned it to you before, I already struggle just trying to get in for appointments booked ahead in your schedule and there has been several occasions where I wanted to just give up and stop coming here because of the way I am treated by your front desk, but I continue to tough through it, as uncomfortable as it is, because I believe you are worth fighting for to see. You have helped me in so many ways and I want to continue to see you so you can continue to help me heal. I just want to have mutual respect, openness, and honesty with one another. I don't want to shut down again, I've come too far and I believe that continuing to see you truly will help me heal. How can I heal from this hurt and feeling of being let down and lied to?

I think that if this incident happened about 6-7 months ago, it wouldn’t have affected me this badly. It’s different now. I find myself missing you a lot. There are many days where I’m told that I’m worthless, stupid, a waste of people’s time and energy, and I should just go die because it will give the earth room for much better people to live on it. I miss you so much because not once have I heard such things from you. I feel accepted and it’s what I’ve longed for so much. When I think of my safe place, my thoughts automatically come here. It’s so safe with you here. I long for safety. I’m so grateful to have you in my life even though our time together is limited. There have been times that you have touched my heart so deeply I find it hard to express my feelings about your actions. I've noticed tears in your eyes when I've shared dark moments of extreme pain from my past. The kindness in your eyes never falters and it draws me to share, to confide, to trust.

I like you so much that it hurts. I didn't think I could come to have these feelings of genuinely liking someone again. I disliked the world and the people who inflicted trauma upon me. I was ready to give up on life completely. I was lost and you rescued me somehow. Thanks to you, I've opened up more to family and friends. You've helped give me the strength, courage, confidence, and guidance I desperately needed and still do to reach out to my love ones. Now I spend time with my sisters more than I ever did before and I’ve become so close with my friend who moved far away. You have a very special place in my heart now because when I need strength to help me make it through really hard days, I think of your kindness and somehow it makes things much more tolerable. I don’t think I could ever thank you enough for all your help. I want to move past this hurt but I need your help.

[SallyBrown]

It's fine, Yang. Don't fret too much about detail! The biggest thing was that I didn't want you to read your whole letter, get to the end, and have her say something like, "Which appointment that needed to be cancelled?" or something like that that would come off as insensitive and would probably be hurtful, even if it was just because she didn't know which appointment you were talking about or why the cancellation made you feel lied to.

Good luck!!

[yang0868]

Originally Posted by SallyBrown

It's fine, Yang. Don't fret too much about detail! The biggest thing was that I didn't want you to read your whole letter, get to the end, and have her say something like, "Which appointment that needed to be cancelled?" or something like that that would come off as insensitive and would probably be hurtful, even if it was just because she didn't know which appointment you were talking about or why the cancellation made you feel lied to.

Good luck!!

Thanks so much. Now, I'm freaking out. I see her in 75 mins. Yikes!

[Chopin99]

Originally Posted by yang0868

Thanks so much. Now, I'm freaking out. I see her in 75 mins. Yikes!

Then we are both freaking right now. I wish we weren't!

Great letter, Yang! You write very well. This line, in particular, though, made me feel so angry on your behalf: "There are many days where I’m told that I’m worthless, stupid, a waste of people’s time and energy, and I should just go die because it will give the earth room for much better people to live on it." You have people in your life NOW who say those things to you??? I am so very sorry about that. No one has the right to say anything so horrible to you. You are not worthless or stupid! You write extremely well, and clearly are very bright. You are not a waste of anyone's time and energy. You are supportive and wonderful and the people who are saying these are, in reality, talking about themselves and not you.

[vanessaG]

I think your letter is excellent! I'm sure you and your T will have a good coversations about it

Man u inspired me! Now I want to write a letter!