Sometimes I shut down in therapy

It gets so hard to really get out what is so deep inside of me because it has been there for so many years and it is very difficult for me to believe someone really cares about me.
My T just started doing this incredible thing: When I get stuck and have the words blocked she hands me a tablet and has me write it down. I love writing and seemed uninhibited. If I still find it hard she will write a question on the paper first then it is just like I am answering a question on a form or something. Seems so much less threatening for me. More like I am journaling.
Anyway: Does anyone else get blocked during therapy sessions?
I feel like if I really start getting it all out it will DESTRUCT ME.

I've had this experience, though it was not quite as intense. I think your therapist is pretty smart to use the writing the way she does.

Hi Twisted Soul,

Yes, I have gotten stuck in therapy too. It was a lot worse initially and happens less now. I did the same thing - I wrote in the sessions, only it was my idea and not my counselor's idea! But it really helped me a lot. I still do it sometimes if I get really, really stuck. But I've made improvement and do not usually get as stuck as I used to get. I think I have gotten better about speaking, with practice, and I trust myself and my counselor more. Another thing that has helped me when I get stuck is to take a few deep breaths. My counselor reminds me of that. I think I get really tense and scared, I guess, and that is part of being "stuck" for me. When I take some breaths, and try to find a bit of a peaceful place inside before I try to talk again - even if I need to talk about something hard - then I find I can speak again. I don't know if this is what you mean. But this has helped me.

Take care,
ErinBear

Twisted Soul,

Sounds like you have a really good therapist there!
And if writing it down helps,carry on with that.

Try not to feel pressured into trying to deal with everything at once.
It takes time to heal.

I think we all feel "blocked" , from time to time. But that is what therapy is for- to unblock it, at a pace we can handle.
I know how that feels.
My thoughts are with you.

Yeah, I think I get stuck because I was always told not to talk about what happened.
And even though I am an adult now I still feel like I will get into trouble.
It does help to write during the sessions. Also, I journal every day and let her read that too.
Just wish I could be more open.

Hi Twisted Soul,

Have you and your T talked about the feeling of being "stuck" when you are talking together, and what that is like for you? My counselor and I talked about that, and still do talk about it sometimes. The first time we talked about it, it was really hard, but it really helped quite a lot. He has done a lot to help me work through it better than when we first started meeting. Like I said, I still have problems talking at times, but nothing like when we first began. Anyway, at least for me, it helped to talk about it, and why it was so hard to talk.

Take care,
ErinBear

you know, the second i read the title i thought " when am i not trying to shut down in therapy?"

you are not alone.

that same exact thing happens to me in therapy. It frustrates me so much and frustrates my past therapists too.

I shut down sometimes in therapy too most of the tine my shutting down isnt having trouble opening my mouth to say the words. Its there are no words to decribe what I am feeling, kind of like my brain throwing the off switch no thoughts just a total blank. When this happens I eather tell my therapist im not thinking right now just a blank or I open my backpack. There is always something in there that I can pull out and say I brought this for you to see today. That gives me a chance to figure out whats going on. Other times when I cant figure out how to say something I ignore the question and throw one back at my therapist to answer. For example one time not so long ago my therapist and I had just sat down and she asked "how are you?" I threw back at her a question I think I asked her if she got my message on her voicemail. She answered but again "asked how are you?" Instead of answering her question I smiled and asked if she had heard anything about my son yet. She took a deep breath looked at me with her "she's avoiding that question look and answered my question. Then asked a different question of her own. we got around to how I was but not through that "how are you"' question. I could have answered I don't know, I was close to bla bla bla. I could have given her many different answers to that one question, so instead of trying to get all of those answers bouncing around to come out in some coherent way I chose not to answer it at all. Which is kind of how my therapist and I do things if I can't answer or don't want to I don't have to. She knows I have many different types of outlets so having to say the words that I can't say or don't want to say for me isn't a manditory thing. We just let things happen as they happen.

Hey

I actually typed in google "shutting down in therapy" and your post was the first one on the list. I googled that as today my therapist let me in on what i do without realising, which is, shut down! It was fascinating as I was talking away then all sudden when inside got too painful *boom* was literally like a switch and I kind of froze and stared numbly to one side!

He said he will help me in bite size pieces to get it out as unhealthy to keep in but I also couldn't have a conversation about crying as again, he believes that goes against my internal permissions!

He is an amazing T and sounds like your one has really adapted to your needs too! Don't give yourself a bad time if you are as you are strong working through it and be patient with self

I get so shutdown, too. I'm glad the writing helps you! My T gives me pen & paper to draw, usually just aimless maze-like doodles. While I am drawing I can talk without looking at him, which helps a lot.