Therapist talking about other clients in your session??

Feb 15, 2012, 11:05 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Screenager

(She also self-discloses a lot... sometimes too much, I think. I mean, I didn't really need to know when she lost her virginity...

)

Oh good! Something new to obsess about! When did my T lose his virginity?? I wonder if he would tell me. I told him. I think turn about is fair play, right?

CantExplain · Feb 17, 2012, 12:27 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by GoodPoint

Once she even said "the girl who was here before you..." and then went on to give a pretty detailed story about her. eeks. And the thing is, I had just run into the girl as she was leaving/I was coming (therapist didn't know this though). Kinda weird. As if I'm not paranoid enough about how I measure up to her other clients.

Hi!

This is going too far, in my opinion. She shouldn't mention anyone you might be able to identify.

And "I have a client who..." should be used only about once a year.

growlycat · Feb 17, 2012, 12:58 AM

My T has mentioned other patients as anecdotes to help me in a given situation.Never names or too much identifying info. I have never been completely comfortable with the practice but as they say curiosity killed the...

He must tell stories about me too. The only time it really bothered me was when he really wanted to tell me the name of a famous person/politician that he saw only once (My T kicked him out--the only patient he ever kicked out!!) I said that even a holes deserved confidentiality. He stopped himself. To this day I keep trying to guess who it was!!

kitten16 · Feb 17, 2012, 04:05 PM

OMG, how totally inappropriate!

My new T has mentioned his wife during every session we've had so far. I don't know why it makes me uncomfortable, but it does. I don't need to imagine him in his other roles as a husband and father or whatever. Maybe it's callous, but I DON'T CARE about his personal life. I just need him to be my T. I think it makes me feel - marginalized.

But then, everything does

Quote:

Originally Posted by Screenager

My T does this a lot, if something is relevant to my issues or the topic we're discussing. Never many details though, just "I have a client who does (x)" or "Many of my clients also deal with this".
It did bother me at first (I know she doesn't name them or anything, but still, what about confidentiality?), but then I just accepted it as part of her MO.

Recently though I've gotten a bit mad at my T for several reasons and I'm starting to doubt her abilities a little, so maybe this just further shows that she's not that good at her job.

(She also self-discloses a lot... sometimes too much, I think. I mean, I didn't really need to know when she lost her virginity...

)

kitten16 · Feb 17, 2012, 04:09 PM

Don't feel bad about need to feel special, GoodPoint! Therapy is the one environment where you should feel exclusively focused on. Your T should be GLUED to you and your story while you're in there for that hour you're paying for.

Some T's have bad boundaries. The session isn't about the T and their need to self-disclose. They should do that in THEIR OWN therapy session, with their own therapist!

You need to be the focus of the work. If the sessions start more and more to be about the T, that's trouble. It's just happened a lot to me, so I'm on guard. But your T sounds pretty good overall, so it might not turn into anything worse!

I'd watch it, though!

Quote:

Originally Posted by GoodPoint

She does talk more than other therapists I've had, but I never feel like I can't get a word in. She talks about casual things sometimes, but they're still relevant to stuff we're working on. A big issue for me is stepping outside my disorder and experiencing "real life" things because I've been so socially isolated for so long. For this reason, it can be helpful to talk with her about light-hearted stuff sometimes, and practice just knowing how to have a casual conversation with someone.

I've had therapists who hardly say two words in a session and THAT bothers me. It makes me paranoid.

I think for me the main issue with the stories about other clients is my feeling "not special." I saw my previous therapist for over a decade and I knew I was one of her favorites... she didn't have to tell me, I just knew. I've only been seeing this therapist for a few months and I often wonder how long she's been seeing her other clients, and how she feels about me in relation to them. I actually think she really likes me... and I usually think people hate me so this must say something.

Still, I do obviously have issues with needing to feel special.

I actually may bring this up now that I think about it... she probably already gets this sense.

me too...

kitten16 · Feb 17, 2012, 04:10 PM

hankster, I just saw your note here and now I can't edit my post. Is the trigger symbol another icon I can drag from the tray? Sorry to be such a newbie asshat...

Quote:

Originally Posted by hankster

kitten, no offense, but you might have wanted to put a trigger warning on your post? which also I think goes to prove your point of how totally inappropriate it was of your T to tell such a traumatizing story? my idiot family tells stories like that.

unaluna · Feb 17, 2012, 04:28 PM

TRIGGER FOR VIOLENCE

Quote:

Originally Posted by kitten16

My new T has mentioned his wife during every session we've had so far.

I will injure him for you. a) that's one way to put a trigger warning b) seriously, if he doesn't stop mentioning his wife, I will injure him for you!

SoupDragon · Feb 17, 2012, 04:41 PM

My T has never spoken about other clients - I once made reference to the person who had been there before me (although we didn't see each other) as T's room smelled strongly of cigarettes and T just looked at me as if I had spoken out of turn. It reassures me that he would not discuss my stuff with others.

Ccara · Feb 17, 2012, 05:28 PM

hi i do really understand (i think) your feelings and what I would do is to talk with T, because of simply reason its not gonna go away, but grow and makes you feel worse; and i think its important especially this particular person is important for, so u really need to feel comfortable in this situation, dont you
i think there shouldnt be any unspoken things in this kind of relationship!

pbutton · Feb 17, 2012, 05:30 PM

I wouldn't mind if T mentioned me as an example that might help someone else. Prior to reading this thread, I would have thought that most people here felt that way, particularly the ones who wish their T would think of them outside session.

I guess in my mind I figure they don't know me.. and I'd love to know that my struggles actually helped someone.

Screenager · Feb 17, 2012, 10:13 PM

Kinda off topic, but I just remembered some craziness from my very self-disclosing T. She talked about sexuality, how it's a drive/need everyone has blah blah, even animals... and then talked about her recently-neutered cat and how "even though they cut off his balls, he still likes it if I play with his little thing."

This is one of the oddest, most effed up things I've ever heard. I'm a cat person too, but I hope that **** isn't normal. Sometimes I think she needs therapy...

growlycat · Feb 17, 2012, 10:19 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Screenager

Kinda off topic, but I just remembered some craziness from my very self-disclosing T. She talked about sexuality, how it's a drive/need everyone has blah blah, even animals... and then talked about her recently-neutered cat and how "even though they cut off his balls, he still likes it if I play with his little thing."

This is one of the oddest, most effed up things I've ever heard. I'm a cat person too, but I hope that **** isn't normal. Sometimes I think she needs therapy...

Wow, a T fapping a cat....great story!!!

pbutton · Feb 17, 2012, 10:58 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Screenager

Kinda off topic, but I just remembered some craziness from my very self-disclosing T. She talked about sexuality, how it's a drive/need everyone has blah blah, even animals... and then talked about her recently-neutered cat and how "even though they cut off his balls, he still likes it if I play with his little thing."

This is one of the oddest, most effed up things I've ever heard. I'm a cat person too, but I hope that **** isn't normal. Sometimes I think she needs therapy...

EGADS! I am completely speechless.

stopdog · Feb 17, 2012, 11:03 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Screenager

Kinda off topic, but I just remembered some craziness from my very self-disclosing T. She talked about sexuality, how it's a drive/need everyone has blah blah, even animals... and then talked about her recently-neutered cat and how "even though they cut off his balls, he still likes it if I play with his little thing."

This is one of the oddest, most effed up things I've ever heard. I'm a cat person too, but I hope that **** isn't normal. Sometimes I think she needs therapy...

It is not normal at all. I have several cats and have had cats all my life. I have never heard of cat fondling as a usual way of engaging with them. That would be way TMI from a therapist's personal life. It sort of creeps me out.

Screenager · Feb 17, 2012, 11:28 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by stopdog

It sort of creeps me out.

Me too, of course. It's so weird with my T sometimes. It's like on the one hand she's this beautiful, intelligent, charming woman I'm kind of in love with -- and then every once in a while she'll mention these little bits of TMI that make me wonder if maybe she's just a crazy freak underneath it all. Kind of unsettling.

(Sorry for "hijacking" this thread. I'll stop now.

... Maybe the "TMI" thread could use a dose of this

)

CantExplain · Feb 18, 2012, 05:08 PM

There's really only one excuse for a T disclosing, and that's if they have to do it in order to win your trust.

T needs to tune the disclosure to the needs of the patient.

kitten16 · Feb 18, 2012, 05:19 PM

Yes! The patient's needs have to be the touchstone.

Quote:

Originally Posted by CantExplain

There's really only one excuse for a T disclosing, and that's if they have to do it in order to win your trust.

T needs to tune the disclosure to the needs of the patient.

kitten16 · Feb 18, 2012, 05:20 PM

You are hilarious

Maybe just scare him a little? I think he'd get the message

Quote:

Originally Posted by hankster

TRIGGER FOR VIOLENCE

I will injure him for you. a) that's one way to put a trigger warning b) seriously, if he doesn't stop mentioning his wife, I will injure him for you!

kitten16 · 06:40 PM

I just died laughing reading your post

Thanks for that!

I've never had anyone do anything like that, but my husband saw a therapist a few years ago, let's call her Margo, who had the same kind of approach. They would be talking about his work, and she'd suddenly sail in with an observation like, "Sometimes you just need a good f**k!" She'd be totally serious, not - um - ironic or anything.

Quote:

Originally Posted by Screenager

Kinda off topic, but I just remembered some craziness from my very self-disclosing T. She talked about sexuality, how it's a drive/need everyone has blah blah, even animals... and then talked about her recently-neutered cat and how "even though they cut off his balls, he still likes it if I play with his little thing."

This is one of the oddest, most effed up things I've ever heard. I'm a cat person too, but I hope that **** isn't normal. Sometimes I think she needs therapy...

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Therapist talking about other clients in your session??

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