[CantExplain]

We've had "What shouldn't a therapist say?" and "I want to say but don't know how."

So my question now is:

What is it you most want your therapist to say to you?

More broadly, what do you most want your parent, your significant other, your boss etc. to say to you?

What did you need to hear that was never said?

[likelife]

I love you.

[Chopin99]

"You are good enough." I'd love to hear that from people; T, H, Mom, Dad, boss, etc.

I come from a background of only being good enough when I perform well (like hankster). It would be healing to hear that said when I've done nothing at all (I have heard it from H before).

I honestly don't know. I feel numb when I think about these questions. I don't know. I kind of feel like crying.

You matter.

[stopdog]

I was just kidding about that attachment thing. You are not attached.

[Hope-Full]

"I will always be here for you."

(Within, of course, the confines of our agreed upon therapeutic boundaries!)

My T said something close to that once... not exactly that, but... gosh, I think if T said that, I'd actually really be able to let go a little more and start to work even deeper, knowing that T would always be there...

He does say things I really do need to hear, like "I love you" and "I'm so proud of you".

I'd LIKE to hear "you're my favorite client ever!". But he does tell me that I'm special, and that I've made an impact on him and will always affect him, even after therapy. And that does feel good.

We exchanged phone messages today and he said he was really looking forward to session tomorrow, and I liked that.

I'd like my T to someday say to me, "My work with you is done."

From my family I would like to hear, "We are so sorry for handling things so badly. We were wrong"

[pbutton]

I want him to help me come up with a plan to make my anxiety go away. I want help figuring out what else I need to do.

[healed84]

Hmmm, I really can't pinpoint one thing. This is a great question though, and I will be thinking about it.

[lostmyway21]

These are things my T has said to me in emails, that I have saved. I just wish he would say it more often. It is usually the only calming thing in my triggered chaos.

"Stay tough."
"You are a good person with a great heart."
"Your not alone."
"I think your worth it."
"I understand your feelings."
"You never waste my time."
"I believe in you."
"I just want you to know that your important to me."
"I'm not going to ditch you."

[wintergirl]

"I know exactly how you need to handle your situation. All you need to do is: [insert wisdom here]."

"I will always be in your life. I will always be available to you."

[rainbow8]

From T: It would be nice to hear "I love you" but I don't think she will ever say that directly.

I also wish she could say something that would make me cry, something that would touch me so much that I would finally be able to let go of my inhibitions about crying in therapy.

She says a lot of things that I want her to say already, as follows:

I accept all of your parts.
Nothing is TMI.
You're special.
I'll be back. I'm not going to die. (wish she could guarantee that though)
I care about you.
I like you.
You're talented (or something to that effect).

I wish my parents had told me "you're okay the way you are".
I wish my H would say "I love you" much more than he does.

[sjkero]

"i worry about you, because i really care about you"

I'm sorry

[SallyBrown]

I never knew that this was what I really wanted to hear until he said it. I was talking about how much it stresses me out that I have a hard time talking about positive things in session. I hate that my reaction when I am really happy is muted when I'm in session, and that I still haven't figured out how to deal with the vulnerability I feel when I'm happy.

He said, "Sally, because it's so upsetting to you, I hope you can find a way through that and all of the other things that are frustrating to you, if it will make you happier. But from where I sit, I would be just as happy if you didn't change a thing. 'As is' is terrific."

Then I cried a lot.

[sarahplainandshort]

Sort-of-realistically? (but still not very bloody likely): "I will never abandon you."

Total fantasy?: "Come live with me. I've decided to adopt a client, and of course you are my favorite."

Okay, from my mom: "I love you." With no qualifiers.

From my dh: "I don't understand but I will always support you."

[PreacherHeckler]

I really can't think of anything I'd like my T to say that he hasn't already said to me... all the things I used to wish he would say but knew I'd never hear have lost their importance as I've worked through a lot of childhood issues in therapy. But I can think of the one thing he said to me a few years ago that still means a great deal to me. I had left therapy for a little over a year, thinking I was more or less done with the hardest part (I wasn't, but I didn't know that at the time) and I wanted to try handling life on my own for awhile. After about a year it became increasingly clear that I had more work to do. So I emailed him to see if he would be willing to see me again, and he wrote "I would be happy to work with you again." I didn't expect him to say no, because he had told me when I left that I could return in the future, although I might not be able to see him twice a week at first, depending on his caseload. But I wasn't expecting him to say he'd be happy to work with me again -- I expected a generic response, something like "Yes, I would be willing to work with you again." It really meant a lot, and it still does, to hear that he would be happy to work with me again.

[nonamecomestomind]

From T: "I miss you when you don't come in for a while"

From either (or both, but that might be unrealistic) of my teenage daughters: "I love you Mom"

[crazycanbegood]

T: I don't need to see you anymore as my client...but I want you to be my daughter.

Mother: I completely f'ed up as a parent, and I understand why you want your space. I will leave you alone.

Former friend: I am sorry. I want to be friends again.

T: dont worry i am never leaving town again. Ever. Even when i have more family emergencies.

[lostmyway21]

"Lost, considering all the things you have been through I want to offically adopt you."

She says alot of positive things to me all the time, but there are a few things I would like to hear more often:

1. I want you to be here
2. I look forward to meeting with you each week
3. You are not bothering me between sessions
4. I am here to help you, not hurt you

[GoodPoint]

Originally Posted by sarahplainandshort

Total fantasy?: "Come live with me. I've decided to adopt a client, and of course you are my favorite."

THIS.

but seriously...

"You emails never annoy me. I actually look forward to them." (she DOES tell me this often, I just would like to believe it...)

"Tell me anything. I can handle it."

"You are a good person, and you are going to be okay."