DEVASTATED -- MY T IS LEAVING!

I cried my way through the entire session. We have 6 weeks to wrap up 2.5 years. I think I'm going to cry the rest of my life!!!

He's a doctoral student, and just got an internship, the next stage of his training. Silly me figured that when that day came, he would do it in Milwaukee.

Nope. He got into a really good program -- in TENNESSEE.

Worse -- he's leaving at the END OF APRIL.

I can't tell you what my T means to me. He makes me laugh, and lightens things up when need be. He's cried with me over things we've discussed. I have told him things I have never said out loud to another living human being. He's an enormous part of my support system. How am I going to exist without him?!

I'm sitting here sobbing as I type this. I don't know how I'm going to get through this. I don't WANT another T! And I don't think this is a good time for me to wrap up therapy altogether, or I would just call it a day. I can't risk getting so close to anybody else, just to have them leave me!



Candy

((((((((((((((((((((candy))))))))))))))))))))

I'm sooo sorry!!!!!!!!!!!!!! That is such a big loss!
Maybe you guys can talk about a way to keep in touch... for at least a year. I did phone sessions with mine when i moved and emailed. Its tapering off now but it helped.

I am so sorry Candy, I really feel for you on this (((((((((((((((((((((Candy))))))))))))))))))))))

candybear,

I don't know what to say!

That's really awful for you.

Thinking of you.

((((((((((((((((( candybear ))))))))))))))))))

oh (((((((((((((((((((((candy))))))))))))))))))))))

i so know what you're going through. i'm so sorry.

kd

I've been there many a time. Luckily my T promises me he's not going anywhere I keep expecting him to say well this is our last few sessions I am leaving. He is my 7th T since moving to Arkansas. I can trust him. I respect him. I worry about him. I guess I have to much invested in this relationship to ask him again if he's sure he's not going anywhere.

I hope you are able to deal with your T leaving I know its hard but we are here for you.

Jbug

KD, I thought of you immediately, and then my first grumpy thought after that was, "at least she's got MONTHS to deal with it. I only got six weeks!"

Apologies for the mental pity party . It is damn hard, no matter how long you have to adjust.

I wonder if I will ever stop crying.

The options he tossed out to me were: find another student at the clinic -- he said he had a couple in mind with whom he would feel comfortable leaving me -- find another therapist out in the community at large, or just bag therapy. I know it is probably a knee-jerk reaction to the news of losing him, but my first inclination is just to bag therapy.

I'm going to call my pdoc Monday and ask for a few minutes to discuss this with him. I need somebody neutral to tell me if this is an OK time for me to quit therapy. Personally, Gregory is the first T I ever told in detail about the abuse. We've covered it pretty much to my satisfaction at this point. Someday I might want to dig in deeper, but for now I'm OK with where I'm at with it.

It helps to have somebody to lean on while I have all these health issues, but I can find other outlets for that.

I dunno. My whole face hurts from crying so much, and I'm not thinking straight right now. I'm soliciting opinions, though. What experiences has anyone had with switching T's or just deciding to quit therapy for awhile?

Candy

((((( candybear )))))

This couldn't have happened at a worse time.

I understand the knee-jerk reaction and the fear of getting close to someone else.

I hear that loud and clear. I'm really sorry you're faced with all this. Especially in the middle of everything else.

I took a break from T but not by choice. My T was diagnosed with Stage IV soft cell sarcoma in October.

She had surgery and was treated with chemo and radiation. It was/is hard for many reasons.

We stayed in touch by phone and e-mail and that helped.

Maybe you could check to see if that's an option?

Sometimes just knowing you can call helps.

I wish you the best during all this.

Petunia

((((candy)))) I am so sorry to hear this...for anyone (and everyone)...

I agree, 6 weeks is such a short time! I wonder if your T had an idea it would be that short of notice when he went seeking internship.

IMO it will be easier to get through this if you consider continuing therapy, not quitting almost cold turkey. If you do continue, I would first try to find someone in the communiity, as another student will end up leaving you also.

Good decision to discuss this with pdoc!

You can cry and all you want, this is quite an upsetting situation. ((((hugs))) Please keep PC informed of your decision, TC

I am really VERY sorry I was just booted like one day I had a T ..twice a week to NO DAYS...just like no notice because I cannot pay the so called low fee that they started..at the risk of sounding dramatic it is the most horrable feeling in the world and I still am shocked .. ...I would cry too....it sucks there is no way around it and its been one hell of a load on you..I am again very sorry

(((((((((candybear)))))))))) I am so sorry! I hope your pdoc will have some good advice for you. This really stinks. I'm so sorry.

((((((((((((((candy)))))))))))))) What an awful time for this to happen. I am so sorry. You may consider finding another t with whom to continue your therapy You have so much going on in your life right now that the added support may help. I agree that you may want to find a t outside the school who you don't have such a high probability that they may move away. I am sad that you are having to go through this and hope that you find one you like soon. I would consider taking your t offer to help you find someone that you would be compatible with.

I'm sorry to hear your therapist is leaving town. That's one of those crappy things about training in mental health...they put these folks in some place and then yank them away when they start helping people.

WAY way sorry

z

Just got back from the first of my last 6 sessions with T . I got some good news, though -- it's not "illegal" for him to stay in touch :-). From reading other posts here, I thought there might be some kind of "no contact" rule, but he said as long as I was clear that the therapeutic relationship was going to be over, he definitely wanted to know what was going on in my life and would give me his email, etc there when he knew it.

WHEW! I've been crushed, thinking he was going to be out of my life forever. I know we can't have a "traditional" friendship, but as long as I'm able to write him now and then, I will feel MUCH, much better. There would have been such a huge, gaping hole in my life if that weren't going to be possible! He said he couldn't imagine saying goodbye forever after all we've been through together, which made me feel good.

I'm much happier today!

Candy

way cool