in shock and completely devastated.....

Please think good thoughts.

I can't begin to describe to you what my old pdoc means to me still. I had to give up a 9-year relationship with him because I moved out of the area, although I tried to drive back for as long as I could. I just knew that (as has in fact happened) I was going to crash sooner or later and would need a local pdoc.

I moved here in November and was scheduled to see him one last time in December, but received a letter saying he was on an indefinite leave of absence. I sent the gift I had bought for his office and a card expressing my support and well wishes for whatever was going on.

Well, the hospital just forwarded that to him last week, and today I got a thank-you -- and found out what was going on. A patient accused him of sexual assault and it is going to trial in July.

There are not words to express my shock, horror, etc. Never in nearly a decade did he do anything even remotely inappropriate -- in fact, he made a point of keeping a physical, though not emotional, distance. He has seen me through so much trauma, both mental and physical, and he actually took time with me and treated ME, not just the disease. (Last time I saw my current pdoc, from butt-in-chair to front desk with prescription and appointment card in hand: 5 minutes. Swear to god.)

This is a young man we're talking about -- he turned 44 in December. Even if proved innocent, this is going to devastate his career, if he even has one left. He has young daughters, maybe 10 and 12 -- imagine having your dad going through this at those ages.

I went home early from work because all I could do is sit there and cry. I've been useless the entire rest of the day. I stopped on the way home from a blood draw and got a card, but I barely had words to put on it. I feel completely helpless from 4 hours away. I don't know what I can do, if anything will even matter.

This is a good and kind man who has dedicated his life to working almost solely with people who can't pay him (students, the poor and uninsured). I can't believe someone would crush him like this. Please pray for him, if you are so inclined -- and for me, because I have so much crap going on already that I'm not sure I'm going to survive this emotional overload.



Candy

Oh no that is terrible news! See this is why therapists, doctors etc. are overly concerned about being sued or accused of something like this.

I don't know the man but believe you when you say that he was good to you. If you believe in him then continue to support him. I would do the same thing.

((((((((((( Candy & Pdoc )))))))))))

Hugs,

Jan

Oh Candy - That's horrible! I'm almost crying reading about it. (((Candy))) (((Candy's pdoc)))

I am sorry for your pain and I hope if he is innocent that they will prove it. I do want to have an open mind because some do abuse and if he did with 1 person I would not want him to get away with it.

This is a psychiatrist? If the patient is a mental patient, then it might not be nearly so bad... as mentally ill patients often go off the deep end on the psychiatrist. But it is tough. Prayers have already gone up... hoping you feel them and gain strenghth and faith. Glad you heard from him, even though the news is sad.

I'm so sorry you are hurting so much right now ... you can get through this. My thoughts are with you ....

((((((((((((((((((((Candy)))))))))))))))))))

So sorry CandyBear. It's got to really hurt to hear this happened to someone who sounds like a good man and helped you so much.

((((((((((((((Candy and pdoc))))))))))))))))

((((((((((((((((( candy and pdoc ))))))))))))))))))

((((((((((((((((((candy))))))))))))))))

hope everything works out for you sweetie.

jinny xoxoxoxoxo

Hang in there, candy. (((hugs)))

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I don't know what I can do, if anything will even matter.

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I'm sure he will appreciate the card with some personal words of support for you.

At trials, they often call character witnesses. If you feel strongly about this, you can offer to be such for him, if he needs it.

((((((((((((((((((((((Candybear))))))))))))))))))))))))))))

I am so sorry this is happening especially with someone who has helped you a great deal. I hope the truth finds him your pain lessens...............

I'm bringing this back up for an update, because I'm not dealing well with it, again.

Wednesday is his last court date, last chance to settle or have charges dismissed. Depending on what happens, a one-day jury trial is scheduled for July 23.

I thought, after the initial shock, that I had coped with this OK. I turn out to have been wrong. Every time I think about it, it literally takes my breath away and I have to remind myself to breathe in and out, and my stomach gets tied up in knots and then gets all topsy-turvy.

I mentioned it to T today and said I thought I might write a letter of support for him to the judge. She said that would be a good way to get called as a character witness and she didn't really think that was in my best interest.

I don't know what to do. I don't know how to handle this. It kills me that it's still going forward. I've sent him the occasional "thinking of you" card just to let him know I haven't forgotten him and support him, but at this point I seem to need the support more than he does. :-\

I have tried hard, every time I've thought about this, to focus on the good that he did me and so many other people. T was surprised I wasn't angry at him. I'm not -- shrinks are human too, and make mistakes and have lapses in judgment (some severe). but I'm so disappointed, if it's true, and I think about the complete destruction of his life, if it's true, and I'm devastated and panicky and can't breathe.



Candy

Well, the July trial date came and went, and the lawyers have been meeting regularly -- it looked like they might be on the way to a settlement. But he was in court this morning and they set a new trial date, for March.

I hate that it's dragged out this long, for his and his family's sake, and I'm absolutely sick to my stomach that it's not over yet. Once again, I thought I had coped with it, but I haven't, I guess -- I'm nauseous and crushed all over again that this is happening.