[Chopin99]

I have session tomorrow. I had my outfit for tomorrow ready to go in the closet. H and I went out to eat with friends tonight and when we we're done, I asked H if I could go to the little clothing store a little ways down from the restaurant. He said sure. I bought a trendy new outfit for tomorrow.

I had the urge to get something something new because I want to be über-confident tomorrow with T. I'm also a believer if you look good, you feel good.

I know the world is not all about looks, but I really do feel more confident when I am dressed, made up, and having a good hair day. It makes me feel more "worthy".

What do y'all think?

[Asiablue]

I get major anxiety about how i look before every single session. If i feel ok, then i'm more confident about talking about hard stuff. I worry i'm ugly and disgusting and if i don't like what i'm wearing... i struggle. I understand what you mean about feeling worthy x

[pbutton]

I do the same thing. If I am anxious about something, I dress well & then I feel more confident.

[stopdog]

Clothes often do help one portray a certain image. I am more formal in a suit than if not wearing one.

Originally Posted by stopdog

Clothes often do help one portray a certain image. I am more formal in a suit than if not wearing one.

Me too. It's why I try not to schedule therapy on days I have court. Clothes do make a difference. For me though, sometimes really nice clothes and wearing make up just make me feel like more of a fraud.

[sconnie892]

I spend quite a bit of time picking out clothing on the days I have t - more time than I should probably admit. When I need to feel confident, I'll dress more formally. But on days when I have deep stuff to share I'll wear something soft and comfortable - like my favorite scarf or a really soft t-shirt.

[tkdgirl]

I agree with the other posters clothes do matter. I usually have T during the work week before work, on T days I make sure I'm always wearing a different pair of work pants and I try to wear my least formal tops. I guess I want to portray a certain image.

[rainboots87]

I usually try to dress nice for T and especially when I see my dietitian- she's so fashionable. Over the past few years, I've been getting more in to dressing up anyway (after my shorts & t-shirt phase in undergrad). Since I deal with depression, sometimes taking some extra time to look nice or do something with my hair is a nice way to treat myself. Yesterday after group therapy, I was actually stopped by someone in the store who told me how she really liked my outfit Even when I'm casually dressed, I try to make it cute unless I'm having a really rough day.

I don't think it makes you shallow at all. Looking better helps people feel better. I don't obsess over what I wear to T, but I do like to make a good impression when meeting new people. And its good for you to buy yourself something new once in a while

[Chopin99]

Thanks for weighing in...I don't feel so alone! I usually don't dress formally for much of anything; in my job I can wear jeans. On meeting days, dress pants and a dressy shirt, but I haven't worn a suit or dress in a couple of years.

What I bought for tomorrow was a new pair of skinny jeans (as skinny as one can be in a size 14 ), a sequined tank top, and a gauzy shirt with a belt.

Originally Posted by SarahMichelle

And its good for you to buy yourself something new once in a while

I know if I read this to my H, he would burst out laughing. I buy new clothes 1-2 times a month. Can you say, "clotheshorse"?

[unaluna]

T was wearing a cute new STRIPED T-shirt today, kinda nautical looking, it did make the session sorta cheery!

[stopdog]

Originally Posted by My kids are cool

Me too. It's why I try not to schedule therapy on days I have court.

Me either. The one time I had to wear a suit to see the therapist she made some comment about it. I have tried never to do it again.

I have gone through different phases over the two and half years that I've been in therapy with this therapist. When I started, I was a size 8 and very very fashionable and concerned about how I looked. I've gained weight recently (a long time eating disorder that goes from low to high) and now I don't care what I wear, as long as it's comfortable and covering! The only concern for me is that I not wear the same shirt or pants I wore last week!

I do think that how we feel about ourselves, where we are in our self worth, relates to how we dress for therapy. My therapist is a fashionable dresser, perhaps a clothes horse, but a moderate one. I am one of those when I'm feeling good about myself physically, I work to dress fashionablly and have the assessories to match. . . that's not where I am right now!

BUT I gotta say, I do remember to wear the "tear" resistent mascara no matter how I'm feeling body wise. I don't know about anyone else but I want to be prepared for the "ugly cry" whether or not it is going to happen!!!!

I think looking competent, fashionable and together is a pretty standard thing for a lot of clients. Being emotionally comfortable is the key.

[sunrise]

Originally Posted by Chopin99

I know the world is not all about looks, but I really do feel more confident when I am dressed, made up, and having a good hair day. It makes me feel more "worthy".

What do y'all think?

I think that if doing these things makes you feel better about yourself and more confident, then go for it! Not shallow at all.

With my T, I feel grateful he doesn't seem to care how I look. I don't take a lot of care with my appearance and I'm glad that doesn't matter to him. I've encountered some people who are judgmental about appearance and may think ill of me because I'm not into fashion and make-up. But my T is just a casual guy and very accepting. Just one less thing to have to worry about--how I look--for therapy.

[Chopin99]

Originally Posted by sunrise

I think that if doing these things makes you feel better about yourself and more confident, then go for it! Not shallow at all.

With my T, I feel grateful he doesn't seem to care how I look. I don't take a lot of care with my appearance and I'm glad that doesn't matter to him. I've encountered some people who are judgmental about appearance and may think ill of me because I'm not into fashion and make-up. But my T is just a casual guy and very accepting. Just one less thing to have to worry about--how I look--for therapy.

A good point...I dress many times to make myself feel better, but I don't care about how anyone else looks. I don't judge others based on how they dress.

And there are plenty of times I've gone out of the house sans makeup, old t shirt and jeans, hair hidden under a ball cap pulled low...just don't care those days! I went to therapy once this way and the first thing T said was, "What's wrong? Something's wrong."

I don't particularly think about clothing when I go to T. Usually I come from work, so I'm in my teacher clothes. If I had my druthers I would go in blue jeans and a t-shirt. I'm all about dressing for comfort when I'm not at work. I'm always really comfortable going to my sessions so I don't really use how I dress as a way to feel confident. I think because I have to dress professionally everyday the desire to pull off the dress clothes at all other moments is pretty strong.

there are so darn many of us we never know what we will end up wearing to counseling but buying new clothes can never be a bad thing♥

[CantExplain]

I'm feeling a trifle miffed.

I started a thread not-so-very-long-ago where I asked "What do you wear to therapy?" Most of the responses were basically, "Whatever I happen to have on." The overwhelming message was that therapists aren't worth getting dressed up for.

And yet a very similar question here is getting almost the opposite response.

What gives?

By the way, Chopin: love the umlaut. Classy!

Originally Posted by CantExplain

I'm feeling a trifle miffed.

I started a thread not-so-very-long-ago where I asked "What do you wear to therapy?" Most of the responses were basically, "Whatever I happen to have on." The overwhelming message was that therapists aren't worth getting dressed up for.

And yet a very similar question here is getting almost the opposite response.

What gives?

By the way, Chopin: love the umlaut. Classy!

I think this time though the initial question asked about getting dressed up for T, so that is initially responded.

I personally refuse to partake in society's obsession with the external. It actually is hindering you rather than adding confidence becuase your placing how you feel on how you look and that could go wrong on any given day.

[elliemay]

No, I don't think it is shallow, rather a non-verbal form of communication. How we look (or want to look) can be a reflection of how we feel, or what we are projecting.

[sittingatwatersedge]

Originally Posted by elliemay

No, I don't think it is shallow, rather a non-verbal form of communication. How we look (or want to look) can be a reflection of how we feel, or what we are projecting.

CantExplain don't feel miffed; this is at least the third thread asking this question; the first one got a lot of replies too, so maybe it's cyclical.

There seems to be a category of people who dress carefully for sessions in order to bolster their own confidence (this is not shallow, Chopin)

and another of people who never give it a thought

but considering this >> I went to therapy once this way and the first thing T said was, "What's wrong? Something's wrong."
the T's are very attuned to client's appearance, so it seems

I realized once that I'd been wearing the same thing to sessions for 2 yrs - brown and black sweater & black skirt. The day I walked in wearing navy and red, T1 was ready to celebrate a huge breakthrough (there wasn't any, I had fallen behind with the laundry! )

there is a third category of people who dress to seem happier than they are. I find myself doing this recently. Sometimes wearing yellow of all things, or colorful jewelry... what's up with this?

[elliemay]

Originally Posted by earthmamma

I personally refuse to partake in society's obsession with the external. It actually is hindering you rather than adding confidence becuase your placing how you feel on how you look and that could go wrong on any given day.

I suppose you could reject all you want, but I still think there is a lot of merit in dressing "UP" from your mood.

It's kind of like how just the act of smiling can lift a mood (of course it can also stave off vomiting, but I guess that's another thing altogether).

If dressing for it makes one feel like they are better equipped to take on the world, then go for it.

I mean a soldier would never go into battle without the appropriate equipment right?

[sittingatwatersedge]

and then there was the day I went to see T1 and the client before me came out, dressed as a bug eyed monster , no kidding.

Of course it WAS Oct 31, but I simply can't envision sitting there for a whole hour, in front of her, looking like that!

[tkdgirl]

Originally Posted by CantExplain

I'm feeling a trifle miffed.

I started a thread not-so-very-long-ago where I asked "What do you wear to therapy?" Most of the responses were basically, "Whatever I happen to have on." The overwhelming message was that therapists aren't worth getting dressed up for.

And yet a very similar question here is getting almost the opposite response.

What gives?

By the way, Chopin: love the umlaut. Classy!

These are just my speculations but first off the mix of people who answered the original thread vs this thread appear to be different. Second the question posed here is a bit difference - last time we were asked "what" do you wear, there was no requirement for a justification as to why you were wearing what you were vs the focus here was more "why" do you wear what you do. Lastly, once a thread seems to have a concurrence I have a feeling people are more likely to respond if they agree versus being the person to share a different view and then have to justify it to everyone.

These are just my thought and have no basis necessarily in reality.