So yesterday I refered to what I'd written here about T's validating me feels a threat, wishy, washy even. T seemed distrubed by that and replied " being believed, validated is wishy washy?". It was her disturbed look that embraced me, help me see it from her eyes, felt her warmth.

Then a little later I said it all felt like to much work to ever get through. I said it feels like I'm on top of a rubbish dump looking for something I lost and knowing its an impossible task. T said, but that's fantasy, why don't you just change it and find another? I closed my eyes and pinching the top of my nose tired with it all said, but not finding it is the cold hard truth!!! T said again, but it isn't its a fantasy, choosing to find "it" or get another one is fantasy too you could choose that? I replied, but that's just wishy washy, at that point T( sorta laughed as she said "its not wishy washy". It was the laugh that felt warming again, helped lift me out of the impossiblity it of it all (another fantasy).

I came away yesterday feeling lighter, and feeling it more possible to change thoughts.

[BonnieJean]

I'm glad you were able to feel t's warmth in her reaction to you bringing a concerning thought to her! And that her laugh was encouraging to you, lifting you out of the feeling of the impossibility of it all. That sounds huge to me! And the lighter feelings.

I must live in fantasy land according to your t's explanation. I tend to see and experience so much in metaphors like your illusion to a garbage dump. T has never discounted any of them but works along with them. For me they are ways to express how I'm feeling in pictures... Most have changed as time goes by or morph into something new. I'm going to give some thought to them being considered fantasies....

well. I talked to her about how inside I felt all triangles and sqs and she translated that..but there are times when she refers to somethings I say as them being fantasys. Perhaps its the context in how I use them that is the difference. But please don't take my experiences or therapist as yours. We can't do that. We would be doing each others an injustice.

[Snuffleupagus]

When I read that she suggested to find another metaphor instead of the garbage heap, I thought immediately of an archeology dig. In one sense, refuse is exactly what anthropologists look at in the archeological record, but they treat each and every piece as a treasure from which new wisdom can be gleaned. Every piece is the needle in the haystack.

No she didn't suggest I find another metaphor, she suggested I choose to find what I fear I have lost.

The fantasy was I had lost something, she was saying I could choose to find it. It was the impossibility that she was challenging not the metaphor. Hope that clearer.

[Perna]

I think our daytime fantasies are very like our nighttime dreams. The images and metaphors are ours as well as the "results". Recurring dreams allegedly recur until we face whatever it is that is bothering us and work on it so we don't need to have the problem brought up to us over and over.

I know when I'm feeling more frightened than I like, I'll decide I'm excited instead; fear and excitement feeling similar (why people ride roller coasters, watch scary movies, etc.). When I use to get too tangled up inside I'd "destroy" everything (throw a hand grenade into my own foxhole) and "start over". It would really lower my anxiety for a bit and I'd be able to think clearer.

If I were you, earthmamma, I'd decide exactly what "it" was/represented and maybe change the venue to a huge flea market? Then I'd start a swap meet/flea market searching hobby, see if I could find something that represented what I'd lost for me

[CantExplain]

Originally Posted by Snuffleupagus

When I read that she suggested to find another metaphor instead of the garbage heap, I thought immediately of an archeology dig. In one sense, refuse is exactly what anthropologists look at in the archeological record, but they treat each and every piece as a treasure from which new wisdom can be gleaned. Every piece is the needle in the haystack.

Yes, this!

An archaeologist would say, "Show me what you throw away, and I'll tell you who you are."