[franki_j]

I found out today that my insurance company doesn't have the claim and bill for my T sessions; I guess it got lost in the mail. Anyways, I emailed T today asking if she could email or bring into session last month's bill so I can file another claim. I don't think this is an unreasonable request, and I explained the reasoning behind it. I also told her that i was going to fax it this time so that it wouldn't get lost in the mail.
Anyways, it's been like seven hours and she hasn't emailed back. I know it sounds stupid and obsessive, but I am freaking out. Even if for some reason she can't email me the bill, she could at least tell me that she can't and then bring it into session. Usually when I email her I tell her I don't want a respone, but this time I didn't put that, and I think it's pretty obvious that I want a response b/c it's about logistical things (ie the bill and insurance).
I guess I am just freaking out b/c usually when I ask for a response she gives one within an hour at most. I honestly feel like if she does not email me before session, at least to tell me that she can't email me the bill, then I am ending therapy. Yeah, I know this sounds extreme, but I honestly can't deal with the obsessing and the fact that I feel that I am going to get screwed over for liking someone too much. I would rather be in a position that is not this vulnerable, where I am not freaking out over someone's email. If she does not respond it is over. I just don't like to be in this vulnerable position, and if she doesn't respond it is over. I can't deal with it.

[rainbow8]

I'm sure your T didn't purposely not respond. There could be an endless number of reasons for the delay. Maybe she didn't get your email; it could also have gotten "lost in the mail". Maybe she hasn't read it yet because of something happening in her life. Maybe her computer is broken. Etc. Etc.
Try not to worry. I'm sure she will respond when she can. I understand about the obsessing. I check every minute for the email that tells me my T is home safely from her trip and it hasn't come yet.

[franki_j]

Thank you rainbow. It's just that I know she has read the email b/c she literally, almost without fail, responds within an hour every time I ask for a response. I am just imagining her reading my email and thinking how annoying I am and that I am just another client and that "F**k it" she can just let me know in session about the bill.
In a way I am hoping this is the case because then I can have an excuse to not see her and stop obsessing. If she doesn't email back I would do a lot of grieving but then I would be done and closed off again and no one could touch me. I am prepared for that.

[Wren_]

Your request is totally reasonable and doesn't sound at all annoying or like it would contribute to the response you are imagining not sure why you haven't received a response from her yet, but I hope you do soon

[likelife]

I've been in that same place before. All I can say, besides offering a hug, is that it sucks, and that your fears about why she isn't responding probably aren't true. I know it doesn't make the feelings any less intense or painful, though.

[WikidPissah]

A technical response takes a lot longer then an emotional one. Normally she emails quickly because her response comes from her head and her training. You asked her for something else. She has to locate the bill from your file, scan it into the pc and then send it with an email. All while seeing clients, answering voice mails and emails. Plus this isn't a crisis request, so it's not going to be on the top of her list. I am sure she is not upset at your request, but it just takes a little longer.

Don't jump to conclusions, I know it's hard to keep your mind from running off with these thoughts but please try to breathe.

[elliemay]

I understand, but also think (as I'm sure you do too) that you are over reacting here. It's okay, this reaction has meaning, but you do not have act on it at all - such as quitting therapy. You can explore it and look at reasonably.

There are a host of explanations that may account for her lack of response so far.

If you don't hear from her can't you just call her office line and get it squared away? Insurance companies are such a pain.

This will pass, all will be resolved in due course. You'll see.

[Perna]

Originally Posted by franki_j

because then I can have an excuse to not see her and stop obsessing

Not unless you have worked through the obsessing in the first place; if not about T not responding quickly enough to suit you in this instance then it will be about something else. I'd stay and fix the obsessing.

It's not comfortable but it's an opportunity. If you aren't obsessing, what are you doing? I always had trouble figuring out what I would be like if I didn't have the symptoms and difficulties I did; what would I be doing, how would I relate to others, etc. It does not happen overnight.

[Sannah]

Originally Posted by franki_j

it's been like seven hours and she hasn't emailed back.

I am freaking out.

I honestly feel like if she does not email me before session, ... then I am ending therapy.

I honestly can't deal with the obsessing and the fact that I feel that I am going to get screwed over for liking someone too much.

I would rather be in a position that is not this vulnerable, where I am not freaking out over someone's email.

If she does not respond it is over.

Originally Posted by franki_j

I am just imagining her reading my email and thinking how annoying I am and that I am just another client and that "F**k it" she can just let me know in session about the bill.

I am hoping this is the case because then I can have an excuse to not see her and stop obsessing.

If she doesn't email back I would do a lot of grieving but then I would be done and closed off again and no one could touch me.

Franki, this reaction is really important to work through. You have written a lot of important stuff above that would be really good to share with T. The key points seem to be being vulnerable and obsessing about a quick response and then reading into this lack of quick response, all sorts of negative things about yourself. If you work through this with your T is will be very beneficial for you.