[PiperLeigh]

I have just a couple more days until my first apt with my T. I am crazy nervous, but my husband is going to go with me to this first meeting. Did anyone see the recent Modern Family episode where Claire got the smile every time she was explaining about the man that had died? I felt my cheeks burning while I watched that! I have a tendency to get a nervous laugh when talking about serious things. It's a dumb nervous habit. I know I'm going to have to tell the T about what has made me seek out therapy (recent SUI ideation). Ever since I saw that Modern Family episode, all I can think about is how I'm probably going to get a stupid grin on my face or laugh as I tell him about it. Does this happen enough where the T is going to realize it is just a stupid nervous action? Can you tell I'm really obsessing about this first meeting? Eek.

Try to relax (I know - easy to say, so hard to do!). But your T will start learning about you from the minute you walk in, no matter what you do. If you sit there and don't say a word, laugh hysterically, cry, stand on your head. It doesn't matter. T's know how to read people, and at least most are non-judgmental. If you laugh, they will know you're nervous. So what? Just about anyone would be nervous at their first appt. I'd seriously worry about anyone who wasn't.

[unaluna]

oh yeah, totally don't worry about that! (<= inappropriate grin)

[Snuffleupagus]

I think a pretty common goal of therapy is getting one's insides to match one's outsides--for the client to recognize that not only is it ok to feel sad, but it's also ok to show that you feel sad. So, although the T may make note of the dissonance between what you're talking about and your expression, that note will not be made with judgment.

[mcl6136]

Originally Posted by PiperLeigh

I have just a couple more days until my first apt with my T. I am crazy nervous, but my husband is going to go with me to this first meeting. Did anyone see the recent Modern Family episode where Claire got the smile every time she was explaining about the man that had died? I felt my cheeks burning while I watched that! I have a tendency to get a nervous laugh when talking about serious things. It's a dumb nervous habit. I know I'm going to have to tell the T about what has made me seek out therapy (recent SUI ideation). Ever since I saw that Modern Family episode, all I can think about is how I'm probably going to get a stupid grin on my face or laugh as I tell him about it. Does this happen enough where the T is going to realize it is just a stupid nervous action? Can you tell I'm really obsessing about this first meeting? Eek.

Laughing? really? during something as serious as therapy? this is my stock in trade. In my therapy sessions, I have laughed about death, jealousy, std, unwanted pregnancy, ruined relationships, my violent father....I have laughed through a lifetime of therapy.

just last night, I was talking to my T and mentioned a story written by Stanley Elkin (I'm outing myself here in so many ways). It's called Criers and Kibitzers and Kibitzers and Criers. The theme might be obvious or obscure but basically there are two types of people..those who, when faced with life's tougher moments, mourn and those who laugh and chat.

I happen to be a Kibitzer. Others are criers. My family is mostly criers so I really stick out as a kibitzer.

I don't think this is just a NERVOUS laugh. I actually think these dark things can be funny, if we allow them to be. Not always, but often enough to keep the lights from going completely off. That's just my world view, informed by the horrors of the Second World War, which gripped my parents and did not let them go. A kingpin kibitzer, Seinfeld, was known to declare that when you are Jewish, the worst thing is not the Holocaust, it's the ....relatives. Now that's some black black humor.

But really...who is to say what is an "inappropriate" laugh? Or inappropriate tears, for that matter?

your cheeks will burn. Let them burn!

I hope I haven't offended any criers out there.

[tkdgirl]

I love Modern Family, great show.

I laugh all the time or think things are funny when there probably not in therapy. Often time I find myself telling my T about something serious like being hit or a physical altercations with my parents as a kid and I'm all smiley and chuckling. Strange I know, but my T has never judged me by this. I think its some type of defense mechanism that Ts are well aware of.

I wouldn't be overly concerned about how you "appear" for your first appointment. Your T is there to help you.

I'm not even gonna try to tell you to relax cause I know there was no hope of this for my first appointment. Maybe its best just to accept your gonna be nervous and its natural in this situation.

[critterlady]

Some of the funniest times I remember with my family have been immediately following funerals. Even at my mom's funeral, we had quite a few laughs. I cry, too. A lot. But laughter helps with grief.

[WikidPissah]

the nervous giggle. Got my face whacked for it many times growing up. I don't know why, but I haven't outgrown it. It's really embarrassing.

[mcl6136]

Originally Posted by WikidPissah

the nervous giggle. Got my face whacked for it many times growing up. I don't know why, but I haven't outgrown it. It's really embarrassing.

me too, and I haven't either!

[stopdog]

The therapist has commented that I laugh or deasribe it like a joke when describing some actions perpetrated upon me that she seems to consider not mild or usual.

[Silent_tsol]

I don't think I would survive therapy if I couldn't inject my laugh, jokes and smiling. I mean I don't think I've ever walked in there not grinning like a kids I a candy store I attempt to convince her and the ready of the world that my week was just wonderful.

Like TheBunny said, t's are pretty good at reading people so it's likely that it will be picked up that you are nervous when you laugh. I don't think anyone goes to a t for the first you're not being nervous.

And also, don't worry about having to, our trying to force yourself to get into things too much on day 1. It's mostly a meet and greet so if saying the exact reason you are there feels too uncomfortable and nerve wracking, you can summarize.

[PiperLeigh]

Well, I survived my first visit. I'm such a novice that I really didn't have any idea what to expect. I didn't really have to explain too much detail to him during this visit, so that was good. I was just taking in how therapy is supposed to work. He did a bit of talking about himself with the purpose of explaining who he is and how he approaches therapy. I did have to bite my lip a few times not to laugh, but not at myself - at him. He was a bit different than I had imagined. Well actually I'm not sure how I actually imagined he would be, but he was definitely different. Within five minutes I knew he had survived stage 4 cancer a number of years back, his wife left him two weeks after his diagnosis, and on his bucket list are skydiving, scuba diving, and walking across hot coals. He also visits his grave plot from time to time at a local cemetery because it is peaceful and serene. Oh wait, and that he is almost blind in one eye but is having surgery on that eye soon. Eesh. That was a lot of info for me to process in the first few minutes. (The 45 minutes really was NOT all about him, but wow, he really just put a lot out there right at the start.) I guess if I had to describe him, he seemed like a therapy version of Mister Rogers (yes, like the PBS show from when I was a kid). I'm really not sure if I want to do this or not. I guess I'm glad I went, but I'm not really sure if this is going to be a fit for me or not. Oh well. I guess I have to start somewhere. I'm going to take a few days to think about it and try to decide if I want to schedule a follow-up.

Thanks everyone for your feedback on the nervous laughing thing. <3

[SoupDragon]

Originally Posted by PiperLeigh

Well, I survived my first visit. I'm such a novice that I really didn't have any idea what to expect. I didn't really have to explain too much detail to him during this visit, so that was good. I was just taking in how therapy is supposed to work. He did a bit of talking about himself with the purpose of explaining who he is and how he approaches therapy. I did have to bite my lip a few times not to laugh, but not at myself - at him. He was a bit different than I had imagined. Well actually I'm not sure how I actually imagined he would be, but he was definitely different. Within five minutes I knew he had survived stage 4 cancer a number of years back, his wife left him two weeks after his diagnosis, and on his bucket list are skydiving, scuba diving, and walking across hot coals. He also visits his grave plot from time to time at a local cemetery because it is peaceful and serene. Oh wait, and that he is almost blind in one eye but is having surgery on that eye soon. Eesh. That was a lot of info for me to process in the first few minutes. (The 45 minutes really was NOT all about him, but wow, he really just put a lot out there right at the start.) I guess if I had to describe him, he seemed like a therapy version of Mister Rogers (yes, like the PBS show from when I was a kid). I'm really not sure if I want to do this or not. I guess I'm glad I went, but I'm not really sure if this is going to be a fit for me or not. Oh well. I guess I have to start somewhere. I'm going to take a few days to think about it and try to decide if I want to schedule a follow-up.

Thanks everyone for your feedback on the nervous laughing thing. <3

Well done for going to your 1st appointment and thanks for feeding back. Although it has taken me forever to start to open up to my T, I nevertheless knew that he was the one I wanted to work with - from what I have read the client / therapist fit is the most important factor that affects outcome. My T suggested an initial 6 weeks to see whether we thought we could work together - did yours suggest a trial?