Welcome to the Couch! People of PC Psychotherapy (Part 2)

woke up to a rainy day...no beach walk today I guess. Maybe I will go vinyl picking with my son...I love looking thru old LP's. I need to keep my brain busy.

I'll be working on the yard today... Texas will be hot.... Mid 80's, better then the 90 plus we have benn having.

It's in the high 70's here.

It's 90 and I'm cleaning the pool and doing the yard..A black widow in the pool, partner almost had a heart attack... I hiding right now, she's a slave driver.. Hot mama wants her water...l

I started a new blog.

How would one read aforementioned blog?

I cancelled the next appointment with the one therapist and am now in the throws of depression and rage at the woman. I have no idea why it is so hard to quit going back to this one. I think she has mis-handled every step of the way with me. And yet when I quit - I become extremely depressed and barely function. I haven't eaten or slept since the beginning of the week when I saw her and cancelled for next week. She insists I am attached to her and the problem is that I hate being attached. I am not attached to her and if I was the goal would be to detach immediately.
It never happens with the second therapist who is respectful of me, on task and things are related week to week, answers questions, keeps poking at certain areas but without overwhelming, I don't want to fight the second one at all.

Baby, Darlin.... Maybe you should just admit there is an attachment to T one and decide not to fight either one. I'm here for ya, as are we all.

Do you have an appointment with the other therapist? Maybe that therapist can you help you with this. Just my two cents and I could totally be off base..but maybe there is a part of you that wants to keep fighting with the other T. She is someone you can put your anger onto because you don't agree with her and maybe a part of you sort of needs that. Maybe its giving you something that you just are not aware of. A release maybe. I know it seems like nothing but a headache a frustration, but perhaps she just a available person you can put your anger onto. I'm not sure..and I will try to explain this better later when I get my thoughts together on it a little. Like I said, I may be way off base but just wanted to offer a feedback on it. I'm sorry you are having a hard time.

Where is Heather today? She is being kinda quiet.

I would rather be depressed than attached to her.

Sometimes I think I keep the first around because I am afraid of what would happen with the good one if I got rid of the bad one. Like the second one would then have to be fought with rather than just the sort of neutral that she is now. The second has never insisted on attachment or even said the word. Nor has she ever labelled me resistant or challenging or difficult.

Hi everyone

Are you okay Chopin? PM if you want to or need to.

Thanks Dana. I'm okay. Just hurting some from the sunburn. It's gone from my legs, so I'm half a tomato now.

Hugs for all... I love summer

32 today and 40mph winds. This sux. I need to move to the lower 48.

I thought partner had gone to Louisiana?

You're in Alaska?

Yeah, I am. It's no life for a Mexican girl.

No...she is leaving when the eldest has her baby... 2 or 3 weeks...., grandaughter is coming on Monday, she said she's staying forever. partner and I are trying to work it out.

When I was still in the Bag Group, things went especially well with my T.
I dumped all my negativity on Bad Facilitator, and that freed T from the role of bad parent.

So if you have two Ts, it is quite likely that things will go better with one of them because the other one is your rubbish tip.

Perhaps. But the reason I got the second one is because of how much the first one was sucking but I was uncertain if it was normal sucking or not normal kind. So first one was not good for 6 months and then I, after sorting through 6-7 others, who were about the same as the first except for a couple who managed to be worse, found second one and could not (and have not) chosen between the two yet. First one was never good and second one is neutral.

http://findinglillie.wordpress.com/

I'm not sure of the title yet but it's a work in progress. I'm not even sure who it's for. I have a vague sense that it's for my therapist(s) but I don't think the DBT people would be interested and I don't have the other kind right now.

It's for my future therapist maybe?

Just took a homemade veggie pizza out of the oven. Even made the crust from scratch. Anyone want some?

Today, I was pretending like I was a real wife. I got up and cleaned house, made bread, went for a walk with my daughter. Cooked and cleaned some more. Did Jillian's 30 day Shred twice. Now I'm trying not to rip my husband's face off because he cannot even unload the dishwasher and put the cups away without arranging them so that they all fall out the minute I open the cupboard. Busy busy day.