[Focus62]

I am experiencing a bit of sadness as the academic year for college comes to an end and I have to leave my T for a little over three months. I had my last session with T today and I am anxious about the summer but I didn't say anything... I trust T but I don't at the same time. Is that possible? I guess I just haven't established a totally trusting relationship with T yet, I have only been seeing T for 3 months. I'm kind of a afraid that I'll never be able to establish a relationship like that, simply because of all the breaks in the school year. This session was the first session where I ever allowed myself to actually tear up (still not crying but I'll take it) and feel real feelings in front of T... kinda sucks I have to leave now. I will be back with T in the fall but I feel like that's so far away . I'm going to be so busy over summer that I probably won't even have to time to think about it, but right now I'm already feeling a bit of sadness that I won't have this outlet available if I really need it over summer. I feel crazy for being so "attached" in a way, I'm just so unused to someone giving a crap about me that "taking it away" is really a test of my patience. It's like I'm a little kid who just got their candy but a big bully just stole it from me.

Anyway...just needed to vent a little I guess.

[northgirl]

I am so glad I came across your post as I feel like I can relate to both your situation and many of the feelings you expressed. I went through termination just this morning and feel like it was the worst timing since after 4 months of therapy I was just finally starting to open up an allow myself to want therapy. And while I do find many of my problems to flare up and be exascerbated by the stress of the school year, I too fear summer without it. Are there any ways you could find another therapist to work with over summer? Have you talked with your therapist about your fears to get his/her advice or input on how you can cope until fall comes? I hope you can find some good support!!

Originally Posted by Focus62

I am experiencing a bit of sadness as the academic year for college comes to an end and I have to leave my T for a little over three months. I had my last session with T today and I am anxious about the summer but I didn't say anything... I trust T but I don't at the same time. Is that possible? I guess I just haven't established a totally trusting relationship with T yet, I have only been seeing T for 3 months. I'm kind of a afraid that I'll never be able to establish a relationship like that, simply because of all the breaks in the school year. This session was the first session where I ever allowed myself to actually tear up (still not crying but I'll take it) and feel real feelings in front of T... kinda sucks I have to leave now. I will be back with T in the fall but I feel like that's so far away . I'm going to be so busy over summer that I probably won't even have to time to think about it, but right now I'm already feeling a bit of sadness that I won't have this outlet available if I really need it over summer. I feel crazy for being so "attached" in a way, I'm just so unused to someone giving a crap about me that "taking it away" is really a test of my patience. It's like I'm a little kid who just got their candy but a big bully just stole it from me.

Anyway...just needed to vent a little I guess.

[Focus62]

Unfortunately no, I can't continue it through the summer as I am an out of state student so I go back to my home state during the summer to stay with my "family." I can't do any therapy while I am home because if they knew I was going to therapy I would be in some deep shxt .

I haven't talked to my current T about this because I don't want to appear needy...I'm not really, I'm just anxious to get through all this stuff because I can't carry it around with me anymore! It's killing me slowly. I'm sure I'll be fine till fall, I think once finals are done and I start working my summer job I won't think about it so much, but this next week is going to be hell, I think. I don't have much in the way of support so anything I get I hang onto for dear life, that's why this hurts so badly. But I figure I've made it nearly 20 years without any, three more months without won't kill me right?!

((northgirl)) - Did you have to terminate because of the therapist's will or because you're leaving school for summer too? I'm sorry, this sucks doesn't it?

[dolphingirl]

I went through the samething last week and was worried about what the summer would hold. It seemed like the month or two we were really able to talk to each other. I will still be staying locally to where I am attending school though. I was relieved last week when I was told that if something came up and I wanted to talk, I could email and we could meet. Even though I want to say to myself and T that I won't need that option, three months is a long time and something will probably come up and I would be lost if that wasn't a possibility.

[northgirl]

focus-

I understand the dilemma of your situation. My family does not know about my therapy issues,(would probably kill me if they did) but what's worse is i LIVE with them all the time, so even though I live 15 minutes from campus (use counseling center there) summer isn't an option for the fear they would find out and I wouldn't even be able to have that to return to in the fall.

Regarding feeling needy, that was an issue I had to work through really hard in therapy. and as hard as it is, it will help to talk to your therapist about it. Once I was able to open myself up to needing and relying on my sessions, it seemed like it became easier to work on everything else.

and yes. our circumstances do suck. But hey, at least we're not the only ones...