Home Menu

Menu


Reply
Thread Tools Display Modes
  #1  
Old May 11, 2012, 03:09 PM
WikidPissah's Avatar
WikidPissah WikidPissah is offline
Euphie Queen
 
Member Since: Jul 2010
Location: New England
Posts: 10,718
Had a crisis session with T. I am in so much agony my life seems worthless. I am off meds for the first time in years and the pain is so much sharper. I needed him. It sux but I did. I was so raw, no tears but my hands were shaking visibly. I couldn't sit back in the chair, I was rocking from side to side, silent. He wheeled his chair in close and talked calmly. I squeaked out a story of neglect. He got it. His chair was just feet from mine, and he was leaning forward too...I guess mirroring. I wanted so badly to reach out my hand and grab his. Beg for help. I couldn't. It felt like a slow hour. I am home now and still aching, I want to text but I won't. God, what I wouldn't give to be able to let the wall down.
__________________
never mind...
Hugs from:
anonymous31613, Anonymous32474, Anonymous32491, Anonymous32517, Anonymous32732, Anonymous33425, Anonymous43209, anonymous8713, bluemountains, Dreamy01, healed84, jenluv, karebear1, likelife, lostmyway21, Nelliecat, notablackbarbie, pbutton, rainboots87, Seshat, SpiritRunner

advertisement
  #2  
Old May 11, 2012, 03:15 PM
SpiritRunner's Avatar
SpiritRunner SpiritRunner is offline
Magnate
 
Member Since: Dec 2010
Location: in my skin and soul
Posts: 2,984
Wiki, my heart goes out to you! I'm sorry you're in so much pain. I know you wanted to reach out to T more, but it sounds to me like you did reach out .... and even though you may not have reached your hand out physically, you did take your whole self there for a crisis session. I think that was a lot for you .... a big thing for you, a letting down of the wall a little more ......
Go ahead,let yourself text him. You don't need to be alone.
You're not alone.
Thanks for this!
notablackbarbie, Sannah, WikidPissah
  #3  
Old May 11, 2012, 03:24 PM
Anonymous43209
Guest
 
Posts: n/a
Hugs from:
WikidPissah
Thanks for this!
WikidPissah
  #4  
Old May 11, 2012, 03:27 PM
Anonymous32795
Guest
 
Posts: n/a
Quote:
Originally Posted by WikidPissah View Post
Had a crisis session with T. I am in so much agony my life seems worthless. I am off meds for the first time in years and the pain is so much sharper. I needed him. It sux but I did. I was so raw, no tears but my hands were shaking visibly. I couldn't sit back in the chair, I was rocking from side tot side, silent. He wheeled his chair in close and talked calmly. I squeaked out a story of neglect. He got it. His chair was just feet from mine, and he was leaning forward too...I guess mirroring. I wanted so badly to reach out my hand and grab his. Beg for help. I couldn't. It felt like a slow hour. I am home now and still aching, I want to text but I won't. God, what I wouldn't give to be able to let the wall down.
Sounds like you did let the wall down !
Thanks for this!
ECHOES, Sannah, WikidPissah
  #5  
Old May 11, 2012, 03:32 PM
Anonymous32732
Guest
 
Posts: n/a
It took a long, long time to build up that wall. It's not going to come down easily, or quickly. But it sounds like a few bricks may have crumbled today.
Just sending lots of hugs your way.
Thanks for this!
notablackbarbie, Sannah, WikidPissah
  #6  
Old May 11, 2012, 03:34 PM
Dreamy01's Avatar
Dreamy01 Dreamy01 is offline
Grand Member
 
Member Since: Oct 2011
Location: UK
Posts: 656
I reckon T saw what's behind the wall. I'm sorry this is so painful.
Thanks for this!
Sannah, WikidPissah
  #7  
Old May 11, 2012, 03:35 PM
Anonymous43209
Guest
 
Posts: n/a
can we ask-are you off meds voluntarily or were you taken off?
  #8  
Old May 11, 2012, 03:39 PM
Sannah's Avatar
Sannah Sannah is offline
Legendary
 
Member Since: Jul 2008
Posts: 19,179
Wikid, you did good and I agree with all of the other posters that you are gradually letting your wall down and this is the best way to do it. Good work!!

(Why don't you want to text him?)

(He got you because you reached out.)
__________________
Don't let your problems or the world make you feel small. Stretch your arms out over your head. Take a deep breathe. Tell yourself that you are big. You are big, not small. You always have space, you are not trapped........

I'm an ISFJ
Thanks for this!
notablackbarbie, WikidPissah
  #9  
Old May 11, 2012, 03:40 PM
WikidPissah's Avatar
WikidPissah WikidPissah is offline
Euphie Queen
 
Member Since: Jul 2010
Location: New England
Posts: 10,718
Quote:
Originally Posted by TrinityDancer View Post
can we ask-are you off meds voluntarily or were you taken off?
Voluntarily. I was so numb on the meds...more numb than I am off them. I was getting no where, sleeping all day, gaining weight..etc.
__________________
never mind...
  #10  
Old May 11, 2012, 03:41 PM
WikidPissah's Avatar
WikidPissah WikidPissah is offline
Euphie Queen
 
Member Since: Jul 2010
Location: New England
Posts: 10,718
Quote:
Originally Posted by Sannah View Post
Wikid, you did good and I agree with all of the other posters that you are gradually letting your wall down and this is the best way to do it. Good work!!
thanks Sannah...you pushed me to reach out, thank you for that.
__________________
never mind...
  #11  
Old May 11, 2012, 03:44 PM
Sannah's Avatar
Sannah Sannah is offline
Legendary
 
Member Since: Jul 2008
Posts: 19,179
You are so welcome Wikid. I'm am so glad that I can be here for you.
__________________
Don't let your problems or the world make you feel small. Stretch your arms out over your head. Take a deep breathe. Tell yourself that you are big. You are big, not small. You always have space, you are not trapped........

I'm an ISFJ
Thanks for this!
WikidPissah
  #12  
Old May 11, 2012, 03:52 PM
Anonymous43209
Guest
 
Posts: n/a
we want to share our experiences with not being on meds but will need to do so later on as we have to go run some errands right now but know we are thinking of you♥♥♥
Thanks for this!
WikidPissah
  #13  
Old May 11, 2012, 07:40 PM
rainbow_rose's Avatar
rainbow_rose rainbow_rose is offline
looking for rainbows
 
Member Since: May 2011
Posts: 2,653
WikidPissah, i'm so sorry you are in so much pain.

lots of safe hugs, if that's ok.
__________________
Happiness cannot be found
through great effort and willpower,
but is already present,
in open relaxation and letting go.

Don't strain yourself,
there is nothing to do or undo.
Whatever momentarily arises
in the body-mind
Has no real importance at all,
has little reality whatsoever.

Don't believe in the reality
of good and bad experiences;
they are today's ephemeral weather,
like rainbows in the sky.


~Venerable Lama Gendun Rinpoche~

Thanks for this!
WikidPissah
  #14  
Old May 11, 2012, 08:11 PM
anonymous31613
Guest
 
Posts: n/a
glad your t could be there for you when you needed it. text if you need to. they wouldn't offer if they didn't want you to do it...

sending safe hugs
Thanks for this!
WikidPissah
  #15  
Old May 12, 2012, 01:34 PM
SpiritRunner's Avatar
SpiritRunner SpiritRunner is offline
Magnate
 
Member Since: Dec 2010
Location: in my skin and soul
Posts: 2,984
how are you today? thinking of you .... hugs!
Thanks for this!
WikidPissah
  #16  
Old May 12, 2012, 02:20 PM
WikidPissah's Avatar
WikidPissah WikidPissah is offline
Euphie Queen
 
Member Since: Jul 2010
Location: New England
Posts: 10,718
Quote:
Originally Posted by SpiritRunner View Post
how are you today? thinking of you .... hugs!
I am ok. I spent several hours vinyl picking with my 25 yr old son. He has a vintage turntable. Very cathartic reminiscing thru the old lps. A couple really triggering moments, but he was there for me.

Physically...nausea, pins & needles, shakes.
__________________
never mind...
Hugs from:
Anonymous32517, Anonymous33425, Anonymous43209, jenluv, notablackbarbie, SpiritRunner
Thanks for this!
rainbow_rose
  #17  
Old May 13, 2012, 04:55 PM
rainbow_rose's Avatar
rainbow_rose rainbow_rose is offline
looking for rainbows
 
Member Since: May 2011
Posts: 2,653
thinking of you today...
__________________
Happiness cannot be found
through great effort and willpower,
but is already present,
in open relaxation and letting go.

Don't strain yourself,
there is nothing to do or undo.
Whatever momentarily arises
in the body-mind
Has no real importance at all,
has little reality whatsoever.

Don't believe in the reality
of good and bad experiences;
they are today's ephemeral weather,
like rainbows in the sky.


~Venerable Lama Gendun Rinpoche~

Thanks for this!
WikidPissah
  #18  
Old May 13, 2012, 09:32 PM
karebear1's Avatar
karebear1 karebear1 is offline
Poohbah
 
Member Since: Feb 2011
Posts: 1,468
WP - hang in there- it sounds like thigns have lightened up a bit today. Tomorrow will be better and so on. We're here for you, just come and vent when you need to.
Thanks for this!
WikidPissah
  #19  
Old May 14, 2012, 09:51 AM
Sannah's Avatar
Sannah Sannah is offline
Legendary
 
Member Since: Jul 2008
Posts: 19,179
Quote:
Originally Posted by WikidPissah View Post
I spent several hours vinyl picking with my 25 yr old son. He has a vintage turntable. Very cathartic reminiscing thru the old lps. A couple really triggering moments, but he was there for me.
Very good! More, more, more!
__________________
Don't let your problems or the world make you feel small. Stretch your arms out over your head. Take a deep breathe. Tell yourself that you are big. You are big, not small. You always have space, you are not trapped........

I'm an ISFJ
Thanks for this!
WikidPissah
  #20  
Old May 14, 2012, 10:01 AM
WikidPissah's Avatar
WikidPissah WikidPissah is offline
Euphie Queen
 
Member Since: Jul 2010
Location: New England
Posts: 10,718
today is OMG-bad. I am in such a void. I made it through the weekend though, thanks to my kids. I am in the "one hour at a time" mode. It helps to be here on pc, to see others struggles and try to help them. It takes my mind off things for a bit. The darkness is SO close though, and it doesn't help that my withdrawal symptoms are painful. I have T tomorrow, I am determined to try and lean on him more...the alternative is scarey.

thank you all for helping through this.
__________________
never mind...
Hugs from:
Anonymous43209
  #21  
Old May 14, 2012, 10:10 AM
Sannah's Avatar
Sannah Sannah is offline
Legendary
 
Member Since: Jul 2008
Posts: 19,179
Quote:
Originally Posted by WikidPissah View Post
I made it through the weekend though, thanks to my kids.
Very good reaching out!

Quote:
Originally Posted by WikidPissah View Post
I have T tomorrow, I am determined to try and lean on him more...
Good plan! Good luck.
__________________
Don't let your problems or the world make you feel small. Stretch your arms out over your head. Take a deep breathe. Tell yourself that you are big. You are big, not small. You always have space, you are not trapped........

I'm an ISFJ
Thanks for this!
WikidPissah
  #22  
Old May 14, 2012, 10:25 AM
Anonymous43209
Guest
 
Posts: n/a
you can do this♥
Thanks for this!
WikidPissah
  #23  
Old May 15, 2012, 08:16 PM
rainbow_rose's Avatar
rainbow_rose rainbow_rose is offline
looking for rainbows
 
Member Since: May 2011
Posts: 2,653
hope your session went well
__________________
Happiness cannot be found
through great effort and willpower,
but is already present,
in open relaxation and letting go.

Don't strain yourself,
there is nothing to do or undo.
Whatever momentarily arises
in the body-mind
Has no real importance at all,
has little reality whatsoever.

Don't believe in the reality
of good and bad experiences;
they are today's ephemeral weather,
like rainbows in the sky.


~Venerable Lama Gendun Rinpoche~

Thanks for this!
WikidPissah
Reply
Views: 1198

attentionThis is an old thread. You probably should not post your reply to it, as the original poster is unlikely to see it.




All times are GMT -5. The time now is 12:41 AM.
Powered by vBulletin® — Copyright © 2000 - 2025, Jelsoft Enterprises Ltd.




 

My Support Forums

My Support Forums is the online community that was originally begun as the Psych Central Forums in 2001. It now runs as an independent self-help support group community for mental health, personality, and psychological issues and is overseen by a group of dedicated, caring volunteers from around the world.

 

Helplines and Lifelines

The material on this site is for informational purposes only, and is not a substitute for medical advice, diagnosis or treatment provided by a qualified health care provider.

Always consult your doctor or mental health professional before trying anything you read here.