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#1
May 11, 2012, 03:09 PM
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Had a crisis session with T. I am in so much agony my life seems worthless. I am off meds for the first time in years and the pain is so much sharper. I needed him. It sux but I did. I was so raw, no tears but my hands were shaking visibly. I couldn't sit back in the chair, I was rocking from side to side, silent. He wheeled his chair in close and talked calmly. I squeaked out a story of neglect. He got it. His chair was just feet from mine, and he was leaning forward too...I guess mirroring. I wanted so badly to reach out my hand and grab his. Beg for help. I couldn't. It felt like a slow hour. I am home now and still aching, I want to text but I won't. God, what I wouldn't give to be able to let the wall down.
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never mind... |
 anonymous31613, Anonymous32474, Anonymous32491, Anonymous32517, Anonymous32732, Anonymous33425, Anonymous43209, anonymous8713, bluemountains, Dreamy01, healed84, jenluv, karebear1, likelife, lostmyway21, Nelliecat, notablackbarbie, pbutton, rainboots87, Seshat, SpiritRunner
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#2
May 11, 2012, 03:15 PM
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Wiki, my heart goes out to you! I'm sorry you're in so much pain. I know you wanted to reach out to T more, but it sounds to me like you did reach out .... and even though you may not have reached your hand out physically, you did take your whole self there for a crisis session. I think that was a lot for you .... a big thing for you, a letting down of the wall a little more ......
Go ahead,let yourself text him. You don't need to be alone. You're not alone. |
 notablackbarbie, Sannah, WikidPissah
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#4
May 11, 2012, 03:27 PM
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Quote:
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| ECHOES, Sannah, WikidPissah
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#5
May 11, 2012, 03:32 PM
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It took a long, long time to build up that wall. It's not going to come down easily, or quickly. But it sounds like a few bricks may have crumbled today.
 Just sending lots of hugs your way. 
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| notablackbarbie, Sannah, WikidPissah
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#6
May 11, 2012, 03:34 PM
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I reckon T saw what's behind the wall. I'm sorry this is so painful.
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| Sannah, WikidPissah
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#7
May 11, 2012, 03:35 PM
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can we ask-are you off meds voluntarily or were you taken off?
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#8
May 11, 2012, 03:39 PM
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Wikid, you did good and I agree with all of the other posters that you are gradually letting your wall down and this is the best way to do it. Good work!!
(Why don't you want to text him?) (He got you because you reached out.)
__________________
Don't let your problems or the world make you feel small. Stretch your arms out over your head. Take a deep breathe. Tell yourself that you are big. You are big, not small. You always have space, you are not trapped........ I'm an ISFJ |
| notablackbarbie, WikidPissah
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#9
May 11, 2012, 03:40 PM
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Quote:
__________________
never mind... |
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#10
May 11, 2012, 03:41 PM
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Quote:
__________________
never mind... |
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#11
May 11, 2012, 03:44 PM
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You are so welcome Wikid. I'm am so glad that I can be here for you.
__________________
Don't let your problems or the world make you feel small. Stretch your arms out over your head. Take a deep breathe. Tell yourself that you are big. You are big, not small. You always have space, you are not trapped........ I'm an ISFJ |
| WikidPissah
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#12
May 11, 2012, 03:52 PM
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we want to share our experiences with not being on meds but will need to do so later on as we have to go run some errands right now but know we are thinking of you♥♥♥
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| WikidPissah
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#13
May 11, 2012, 07:40 PM
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WikidPissah, i'm so sorry you are in so much pain.
lots of safe hugs, if that's ok.
__________________
Happiness cannot be found through great effort and willpower, but is already present, in open relaxation and letting go. Don't strain yourself, there is nothing to do or undo. Whatever momentarily arises in the body-mind Has no real importance at all, has little reality whatsoever. Don't believe in the reality of good and bad experiences; they are today's ephemeral weather, like rainbows in the sky. ~Venerable Lama Gendun Rinpoche~ 
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| WikidPissah
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#14
May 11, 2012, 08:11 PM
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glad your t could be there for you when you needed it. text if you need to. they wouldn't offer if they didn't want you to do it...
sending safe hugs |
| WikidPissah
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#15
May 12, 2012, 01:34 PM
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how are you today? thinking of you .... hugs!
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| WikidPissah
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#16
May 12, 2012, 02:20 PM
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Quote:
Physically...nausea, pins & needles, shakes.
__________________
never mind... |
| Anonymous32517, Anonymous33425, Anonymous43209, jenluv, notablackbarbie, SpiritRunner
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| rainbow_rose
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#17
May 13, 2012, 04:55 PM
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thinking of you today...
__________________
Happiness cannot be found through great effort and willpower, but is already present, in open relaxation and letting go. Don't strain yourself, there is nothing to do or undo. Whatever momentarily arises in the body-mind Has no real importance at all, has little reality whatsoever. Don't believe in the reality of good and bad experiences; they are today's ephemeral weather, like rainbows in the sky. ~Venerable Lama Gendun Rinpoche~
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| WikidPissah
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#18
May 13, 2012, 09:32 PM
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WP - hang in there- it sounds like thigns have lightened up a bit today. Tomorrow will be better and so on. We're here for you, just come and vent when you need to.
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| WikidPissah
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#19
May 14, 2012, 09:51 AM
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Quote:
__________________
Don't let your problems or the world make you feel small. Stretch your arms out over your head. Take a deep breathe. Tell yourself that you are big. You are big, not small. You always have space, you are not trapped........ I'm an ISFJ |
| WikidPissah
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#20
May 14, 2012, 10:01 AM
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today is OMG-bad. I am in such a void. I made it through the weekend though, thanks to my kids. I am in the "one hour at a time" mode. It helps to be here on pc, to see others struggles and try to help them. It takes my mind off things for a bit. The darkness is SO close though, and it doesn't help that my withdrawal symptoms are painful. I have T tomorrow, I am determined to try and lean on him more...the alternative is scarey.
thank you all for helping through this.
__________________
never mind... |
| Anonymous43209
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#21
May 14, 2012, 10:10 AM
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Quote:
Quote:
__________________
Don't let your problems or the world make you feel small. Stretch your arms out over your head. Take a deep breathe. Tell yourself that you are big. You are big, not small. You always have space, you are not trapped........ I'm an ISFJ |
| WikidPissah
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#22
May 14, 2012, 10:25 AM
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you can do this♥
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| WikidPissah
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#23
May 15, 2012, 08:16 PM
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hope your session went well
__________________
Happiness cannot be found through great effort and willpower, but is already present, in open relaxation and letting go. Don't strain yourself, there is nothing to do or undo. Whatever momentarily arises in the body-mind Has no real importance at all, has little reality whatsoever. Don't believe in the reality of good and bad experiences; they are today's ephemeral weather, like rainbows in the sky. ~Venerable Lama Gendun Rinpoche~
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| WikidPissah
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