Full on meltdown

May 23, 2012, 05:16 PM

I have officially crossed that line from one step away from melting down to full on meltdown. My uncle died. My mother called to tell me and in the process had to tell me what a bad person I am and how I should just be able to "let things go." This from the woman who has not spoken to her sister in almost 30 years, and did not speak to my now deceased uncle for 20 years. She just started speaking to him again at my dad's funeral in October. She was crying hysterically about how I do not love her and hung up on me. I called back, more hysterical tears and sobbing about why do I have to do these things to her and she hung up on me again.

I ended up calling my T, who in his return call asked me why I called him.

Because I'm a big ****ing needy baby and I'm stupid??? I DON'T KNOW. Anyway, his point (very poorly made) was that I was blaming myself for calling him as well as for my mother being upset and none of what I had done was blameworthy.

THEN because I need more stress in my life, I took my daughter home from school to discover that my husband forgot to make the electric payment and we have no electricity. AND he forgot to make the deposit in our account so we had no money to get it turned back on AND we have two overdraft charges. So, had to rush around getting money in the account and then to the electric company so maybe we have electricity later tonight. And try to act like I was not weeping in the drive thru line at the bank. Got back to the office and cried in the bathroom for a while. Then my mother in law called me and all I could do was weep on the phone.

And as I predicted to my husband, my mother would not call me when she found out about the funeral arrangements. She called and gave the arrangements to my husband and told him she had forgotten my phone number. As if she had not already called it today, and does not have written in her little phone book by her phone, and as if it did not appear at least twice on her caller id from me calling her back after she hung up on me.

Anyway. whine whine whine.

WikidPissah · 06:14 PM

omg mkac! That is one of the crappiest days ever. You're mother kind of sounds like mine, except mine needs me to survive (I do everything for her) so she doesn't hang up when she calls.

I really hope you get a breather tomorrow. Sorry about your uncle.

May 23, 2012, 05:30 PM

MKAC, I'm sorry to hear of the loss of your uncle. It can be so difficult dealing with our families especially when they act like everything was normal and don't know why we need to be so upset and difficult... I'll be thinking about you...

May 23, 2012, 05:32 PM

Sounds like one of those days from hell!!! If it was me, I'd probably gulp down a xanax (or three), wash them down with a bottle of nice Chardonnay, go to bed, pull the covers up over my head and turn the electric blanket up to 9!!! Oh man, so sorry all this is happening. I think you're dealing with all this really well, considering all of the crap going on.

Just sending lots of hugs and hoping that tomorrow will come soon, and that it will be a much, much better day.

Chopin99 · May 23, 2012, 05:33 PM

Seriously, MKAC; it's hard to imagine coping well with all that. I know I wouldn't (then again, I'm in partial meltdown myself).

Let's be whiny babies together:

I'm about to email T and I don't know how she's going to react.

I sincerely hope that the next minute, hour, day will be better than the last for you.

PiperLeigh · May 23, 2012, 05:34 PM

Oh wow. That sounds like a terrible, horrible, no good, very bad day. {{safe hugs}} I am so sorry for your family's loss and also for all the things you experienced on the same day. I hope tomorrow will bring you something unexpectedly good. <3

SpiritRunner · May 23, 2012, 06:19 PM

Omg, that sounds like a horrificly horrendous day! Your mother sounds like a witch, eh, I have stronger words I'd like to use, but will refrain......
I'm sorry about your uncle and just as sorry about all the other mess with the electricity and the money hassle .... that would totally make me want to tear my hair out. I hate money issues.
Well, why not call T for support?! What the hell else is he there for but to provide some in times of crisis like this?
Nope, you are not whining. You are justifiably upset and need an outlet for your anger/hurt/distress.
I hope tomorrow is better too.

May 23, 2012, 06:27 PM

(((((((((((((((((((((MKAC))))))))))) oh my we are so very sorry!!!! can we be of any help for you? anythung we can do?

♥♥♥

unaluna · May 23, 2012, 06:36 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by SpiritRunner

... I'm sorry about your uncle and just as sorry about all the other mess with the electricity and the money hassle .... that would totally make me want to tear my hair out... I hope tomorrow is better too.

ditto, except, tear your husband's hair out!

healed84 · May 23, 2012, 06:36 PM

((((MKAC))))) Sorry about the loss and sorry about your crappy day and your mother's reactiong.. I hope things improve from here on out.

May 23, 2012, 06:39 PM

geez, yeah, what a horrible day! I'm so sorry for you! please don't feel badly for "whining" about it. any normal person would! maybe we'd be more worried if you didn't complain about a day like that. I'm sorry for your lose.

May 23, 2012, 07:51 PM

oh my gosh, i agree, i would just pull the covers over my head after going to mc d for dinner and just start over again tomorrow..

im sorry about your uncle.

my mom hangs up on me too, my brother lives out of state and my sister quit speaking to her years ago.
i'm only one around and i get treated like ______... yup, the smelly stuff! what gives? wish i had a great answer for you, but i don't and i just wanted to let you know you weren't alone!

sending safe hugs

stopdog · May 23, 2012, 08:31 PM

What a horrible day. I hope you were able to get your electricity back on. Sorry to hear about your uncle. And that you had to deal with your mother.

bluemountains · May 23, 2012, 08:56 PM

(((mkac))) After that crappy day, you should have no where to look but up. I'm sorry for the loss of your uncle. I hope all is better soon.
Bluemountains

pbutton · May 23, 2012, 08:58 PM

I am sorry your day was so awful. You deserve much better.

Honeybun · May 23, 2012, 11:52 PM

I am so so sorry you are having such a crappy day. I hope tomorrow will be a better day for you.

I'm also sorry for the loss of your uncle.

Take good care.

May 24, 2012, 12:00 AM

Except for the loss of your uncle (for which I am sorry) you had MY day!

Our cable/internet/TV got shut off for nonpayment. I have been inpatient and my mother was NOT supposed to know for obvious reasons. Well she found out yet refuses to call me. If she did, we'd have the same conversation as you and your mother.
I don't understand it at all but I am very sorry you have to deal with all that. Take good care.

CantExplain · May 24, 2012, 12:39 AM

((Cool))

lostmyway21 · May 24, 2012, 09:21 AM

May 24, 2012, 09:43 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by hankster

ditto, except, tear your husband's hair out!

I would have DOUBLE thanked you for this message, hankster, if I could have. Made me laugh.

Quote:

Originally Posted by Calista+12

Except for the loss of your uncle (for which I am sorry) you had MY day!

Our cable/internet/TV got shut off for nonpayment. I have been inpatient and my mother was NOT supposed to know for obvious reasons. Well she found out yet refuses to call me. If she did, we'd have the same conversation as you and your mother.
I don't understand it at all but I am very sorry you have to deal with all that. Take good care.

So your mother thinks everything on the planet is your fault also? I'm so sorry.

Our electricity was not turned back on until 10:45 last night. My son spent the evening with his girlfriend's family because they always have power and food.

And they are nicer than us. Double

He said he was joking around, but I wasn't up to much joking last night. My daughter was totally cool. We built a fire in the fire pit and cooked over the grill on the fire. We hung out and talked. Then I took a hot bath by candlelight (luckily our hot water heater runs on propane).

Thanks for all of the support here. And thanks for not asking me why I posted.

Sometimes I want to kick my therapist in the shins.

SpiritRunner · May 24, 2012, 09:46 AM

I didn't mention anything about tearing out H's hair, but a similar thought DID cross my mind ..... if it were me and my H, he would have been ducking some flames, for sure, and probably ended up with a roasted a $ $!! Fortunately, he's better with money handling/bill paying than me, phew.

I hope today is better!

May 24, 2012, 09:57 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by SpiritRunner

I didn't mention anything about tearing out H's hair, but a similar thought DID cross my mind ..... if it were me and my H, he would have been ducking some flames, for sure, and probably ended up with a roasted a $ $!! Fortunately, he's better with money handling/bill paying than me, phew.

I hope today is better!

I really, really, REALLY thought about telling him not to come home last night. However, I want desperately to move as soon as possible because we live next door to my deranged mother and lying, stealing, scum bag brother in law and sister. Financially, I cannot move by myself. So, he's staying my husband until we move at least. Does that make me a selfish, horrible person? I'm justifying it in my head by saying that it also gives us more time to work out our issues, AND that living elsewhere will lower our stress levels dramatically which will put less pressure on our marriage. So it's not like I'm kicking him out as soon as we move no matter what. It just means I'm not divorcing him right now, no matter what.