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#51
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![]() Gr3tta
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#52
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They were both conscious.
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![]() Gr3tta
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#53
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You have said that your goal for therapy and on this board is to learn ways to create better defenses against other people--to learn how to build higher stronger walls, but you can't inform the therapist of this goal because then she wouldn't divulge the information you need to accomplish your goal. So you already knew you were playing different games. You've ensured it by not being honest with the therapist about what your agenda is. It sounds a little like what you want to learn is how to resist their agenda more effectively. No wonder you don't want to leave the distasteful T. Look at all the practice she affords you in building walls and resistance. Your stated therapy goals are being more fully fulfilled by her.
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![]() elliemay, Gr3tta, Sannah
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#54
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Actually I have told her time and time again. She insists i am attached and that the problem is how much i detest that i am? She knows there are some cross purposes and has said so. I tell her all of this.
Last edited by stopdog; Jun 02, 2012 at 03:28 PM. |
![]() Gr3tta
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#55
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Why not make it your first goal? You certainly get more bang for your buck if you can put more into your therapy.
__________________
Don't let your problems or the world make you feel small. Stretch your arms out over your head. Take a deep breathe. Tell yourself that you are big. You are big, not small. You always have space, you are not trapped........ I'm an ISFJ |
![]() Gr3tta
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#56
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I thought more about this and if the therapist is doing most of the work for their clients this is being codependent. A major goal for mental health is that people can take care of themselves. I'll take care of me, you take care of you (we can help each other, though). Codependents take care of other people too much. Again, going back to my first post about this where I talked about it being about boundaries.
__________________
Don't let your problems or the world make you feel small. Stretch your arms out over your head. Take a deep breathe. Tell yourself that you are big. You are big, not small. You always have space, you are not trapped........ I'm an ISFJ |
![]() Gr3tta, Seshat
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#57
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I agree the only person who can take care of me is me.
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![]() Gr3tta
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#58
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And nobody better damn help!
__________________
Don't let your problems or the world make you feel small. Stretch your arms out over your head. Take a deep breathe. Tell yourself that you are big. You are big, not small. You always have space, you are not trapped........ I'm an ISFJ |
![]() elliemay, Gr3tta
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#59
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tennis and bridge - not really one-person games, are they?
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![]() Gr3tta, Sannah
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#60
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Last quarter in school I took a counseling skills class. I noticed a big difference in my therapy since then. I am a more active client and my therapy goes along better. I wasn't super passive before, but somehow, now that I know more about how therapy is supposed to go, and have experienced sitting there being the counselor to a client, I know how I, as the client, can better facilitate my own therapy. I had not expected this at all. So I think I am giving more to the counseling now, and because of that, it is going better. I am not as hesitant to take risks and interact with a greater degree of honesty. I have more confidence that what I say will be "acceptable" in counseling and less worry about my therapist's thoughts and feelings. I don't need to worry so much about him, and I didn't even realize I was before I took the class.
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"Therapists are experts at developing therapeutic relationships." |
![]() Gr3tta, Seshat
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#61
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Quote:
__________________
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![]() Gr3tta, Snuffleupagus
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#62
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I am fairly certain passive is not a term I would apply as to how I see the client being (nor one the therapist would use at me) Passive is giving control to the therapist. And both therapists, as recently as this week, said I was not doing therapy wrong.
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![]() Gr3tta
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#63
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![]() And also - hey, both of them said you're not doing therapy wrong? Sounds like good news. Maybe things are just proceeding a whole lot slower than you want them to. |
![]() Gr3tta, Sannah
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#64
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So, they believe that building higher walls and stronger defenses are fine and worthy therapeutic goals?
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![]() Gr3tta
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#65
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I told my t one time that I didn't want to feel anything anymore- that I wanted to build stronger, higher walls. She seemed to think that request was totally reasonable, and she gave me some skills to help me move in that direction. Now, my request was about specific aspects of my life (an unraveling relationship; combat related memories that were making it hard to function in civilian life; etc) not a generalized deadening of emotion. But still, she was very helpful.
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![]() Gr3tta, stopdog
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#66
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Opps - on reflection not up to posting today.
Last edited by SoupDragon; Jun 03, 2012 at 05:49 AM. Reason: Changed my mind. |
![]() Gr3tta
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![]() Gr3tta
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#67
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I wouldn't know the first thing about how to do that. And if it's my job as a client to do it, I'm a bit lost, since I don't have the tools or the skills or the right kind of thinking.
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![]() Gr3tta, stopdog
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#68
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I am not the one trained to do this whole therapy thing, he is. I was up front and honest from the beginning...my treatment plan was to help me communicate. The reason I was in therapy was that I could not speak. Yes, I was relying on him more then myself, but that was because I don't know what I am doing.
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never mind... |
![]() Anonymous32517
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![]() Gr3tta, stopdog
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#69
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Quote:
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![]() Gr3tta, Snuffleupagus, stopdog, WikidPissah
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#70
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Being empowered is being able to do what you want to do without inhibitions coming from within or from the outside. What do you want to do that you find yourself unable to do?
__________________
Don't let your problems or the world make you feel small. Stretch your arms out over your head. Take a deep breathe. Tell yourself that you are big. You are big, not small. You always have space, you are not trapped........ I'm an ISFJ |
![]() Gr3tta
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#71
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You just need to try to speak and then deal with whatever is getting in your way of speaking.
__________________
Don't let your problems or the world make you feel small. Stretch your arms out over your head. Take a deep breathe. Tell yourself that you are big. You are big, not small. You always have space, you are not trapped........ I'm an ISFJ |
![]() Gr3tta
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#72
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Wow! Thanks to everyone for such great responses! I am learning a lot.
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#73
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So can somebody expound on what being engaged and proactive in therapy looks like? I feel like I need a definition!
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![]() Gr3tta
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#74
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Also, kill myself. |
![]() Anonymous37917, WikidPissah
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![]() Gr3tta
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#75
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Hey, I thought I was the black comedy white comedian around here.
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![]() Gr3tta
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