I've been in therapy a whole year, going every week. I haven't improved In fact, my symptoms have gradually gotten worse and worse. Does anyone know of a website or something to help you decide how long you should be in therapy and when to decide to terminate if things arent getting better.

I'm sorry you aren't feeling better ... though I do believe everyone is different and every process is different-- what I mean is, maybe this is how it's supposed to go for you??

Anyway I know of a website that talks all about therapy-- Why receive psychotherapy; types of therapies; What should happen; and when to stop. Keep in mind it is just one clinical psychologist's opinion and info.

I hope I don't violate any rules here by giving this other site out: therapy info Hope this helps some.
You are welcome to PM me if you want to talk.

Also.... if it helps any..... I'm still struggling something awful and it's been two years for me!

mandy

I have been in therapy now straight for 5 years. and I will most likely be in therapy for some time yet.

A therapist once told me when I asked her when I would be done with therapy that it varies from person to person. the person in therapy and the therapist sets goals when there is nothing more to work on their work together is done. Some people go straight through and take care of their problems and one person doing this can be in therapy just a few sessions and others doing the same exact program for the exact same problem can be in therapy for years. Each person heals at their own pace. Some people also take breaks along the way. depending on how much work was completed before that break means thats less what they need to do when they go back and again that could take a few appointments and others it can be years. again each person heals in their own ways.

Then throwing a little lightness into it told me that when I get off my a-- and take care of everything even if it is just to shut her up so she could not find any more problems was when she would get off my a-- and go back to having a life. LOL

By the way:
Unless you are court mandated or someone under the age of 18 you decide how long you will stay in therapy and with who.

[Persie]

Be warned, I am standing on my soap box and I think I may even be channelling Oprah here!

Amateurs!

I have almost 15 years in therapies and therapists. Three major therapists, each lasting about 4 to 5 years, two were cognitive and the current one is psychoanalyst. Not to mention several short visits in between.

Mostly, its been like banging my head against a brick wall, but no experience is without some learning. I learned for example, that CBT as a primary therapy sucks for me, to me seeing a therapist once a week is like claytons therapy, I would forget anything we discussed or I experienced in between. I learned that I have control and trust issues which accounts for the sabotaging and dumping of therapists around 4 years. I learned the difference between staying in therapy because I thought that I wasn't good enough as a patient and blamed the failure on myself and staying in therapy because the therapist was a good one but I was sabotaging.

Don't worry too much. The knowledge that its the therapy or the therapist that isn't working and that you need to move on will eventually just explode in your brain one day. You won't even bother asking us the question because you will just know its time.

Also, don't worry about you self-sabotaging yourself. After a few therapists, you will figure it out and stop doing it.

This is a win-win situation. We are made to survive and figure out solutions to our problems even if it takes a life-time.

Okay, I know this doesn't sound like much of an answer. You want a time limit. The problem is that the time limit is your entire life, with or without your therapist. Do you really think that if your therapist disappeared tomorrow, you would stop learning, having problems, etc? No. Life would go on, you would get older, mature, solve problems, etc. Your 'therapists' would be friends, parents, siblings, teachers, tv, books, seminars, work, etc. Not to down grade the importance of therapists, just to say that we need to keep things in our lives in perspective.

You will never be fully perfect, you will never be normal, you will never be absolutely okay. However, what will change is that you will be okay with the less than perfect, normal and okay you. For example, therapy won't completely take away your anxieties, but it will make you more comfortable with your anxieties. The more you learn to live with your self, your mess, the worlds mess, paradoxically, the more normal, perfect, okay, you become. For me, this has been the greatest lesson, to be okay with the imperfect me.

You will figure it out, just be gentle with yourself, there is no gun to your head saying that you have to figure it all out and make a decision today.

[Monty_girl]

I'm a master when it comes to therapy. I've been in and out of therapy since I was 8, I'm now 33. I've been in T now since 97. I did take 6 months off and found another therapist and I've been with him now for 4 years. There are times that's I've gotten a lot worse being in T. To the point my H even said I was worse. But the T I have now has made a comment that always sticks with me. Sometimes it gets worse to get better. It's like having an infected wound that doesn't heal. Sometimes you have to open it up and clean it out for it to heal.

I don't know what your issues are that you decided to start T to being with. But look back to then and why you started in the first place. Have those issues that brought you to T changed any? Are you truely commented to T and is your T commented to helping you?

I don't think there is a time line to getting better. If you don't think you are getting anything out of T or you feel that you are just getting worse. Talk to your T about it. Maybe it's something that you all need to talk about. I hope you get to feeling better. Many wishes to you.

monty

[Junerain]

Dear Esthervirtue,

Perhaps you have the wrong therapist? The right one mihgt make all the difference..you should go to many different ones and ask questions until you find one you click with. Write us again and let us know how you are doing...we care..

Amateurs? is that pointed at the 5 years straight? LOL I said 5 years straight but that is not my complete therapy history. If you have read any of my other posts and Blog you know that I started therapy back in the early 1980's. To be exact I have been in and out of therapy for the past 26 years. and at the moment am on therapy professional 19. As a client Amateur of the therapy profession I am not, Plus at one time I was studying to enter the therapy field as a professional. so here again I may not be a professional yet but I am not an amateur either. LOL

Mmmmm To go back to those amateur days (with the knowledge that I have now of course) so much would be different today.

By the way if we are counting high school shrinks well tack on 4 more years - for a total of 29 years and 20 therapy professionals in my complete therapy history. LOL Wow knew it was alot but wow... how time flies.

[(JD)]

I think I will be in therapy the rest of my life. That's a deeper subject than I'll discuss. My situation is different, IMO. I was injured umpteen years ago and will be dealing with having to struggle to get the care I need and the attorneys for the remainder of time... thus the need for the T to help me get through that.

I hope I will be a better, finished person long before that though.

I agree with the others, it's a personal decision. If you aren't sure, then you probably still need T, because when you don't need T anymore, you KNOW that!

Discuss this with your T...it could be a trust issue, or it could be they aren't the right T for you... and they could shed light on the answer for you.

[Persie]

Myself, thems be fight'in words!

I know what I'll do, I will start seeing 5 shrinks at the same time, times that by 5 years, 25 years of shrinkaging. Add the 15 that I already got, thats 40.

Meet you back here in 5 years.

Im hoping I don't need any more then what I have wracked up already.The therapist I have now has told me being in the field is her nitch and plans on being around for a loooonng time. I know shoit can hit the fan even for therapists so Im not taking bets on how llooooonnnng is looooong from her. Because of the therapy plans that I am on is self monitoring self accomplishing If at some point in the future LL cant be my therapist any more well Im capable of doing whats left on my own so the odds of my continuing seeing a therapist after LL is most likely not. So the fact that you are already tacking on the future therapists you may be seeing in the next five years tells me you are at the beginning of your therpay process I am somewhere between the middle and the end so you already have me beat.

[Persie]

Hi,

It's not that I'm at the beginning of therapy, its just that I feel I have a calling to give the pathetic therapists a thorough education so I am working my way through the list of therapists in Australia. I'm coming out to the US next. Be afraid, very afraid.

I take my to you for realising that I'm the winner here. I would have had to make lunch out of you otherwise. As a gift, I will allow you to have five minutes on the winners stand.

You know, the best thing about being a nut is that you are never alone. You get to meet so many lovely, different nuts along the road.

on Fellow nuts - aint that the truth.

you are welcome to my five minutes on the stand You just might need it for your arrival into the US. Immagration seems to be a hot political topic for the US right now. who knows what the requirements will be for fellow nuts when you set sail or fly the friendly skies.

Fear? of nuts?

It wasn't the "nuts" that I had to fear and dissociate away from.