T Summer Clothes?

That can certainly be an aspect of a pedicure, but the main indicator of a pedicure is painted toenails. If you go to a salon, a pedicure involves soaking/washing your feet, trimming and maintaining your cuticles, lotioning your feet, removing any hard/dead skin from your feet, strengthening your toenails, and then painting your toenails. You can usually tell the difference between someone who has had a full pedicure (their feet look clean, smooth, and well taken care of) and someone who just slapped a little polish on their toenails.

I find this conversation about clothing very interesting. I work in a special school setting with children who have been severely emotionally, physically and sexually abused. I have always had a hard time with the "dress" of individuals working with these children. I've even spoken up during staff meetings, pleading with people to be aware that what they wear truly affects the children they work with, no matter what age.

I don't feel as though I've been heard on a real level. . .. people might say they understand, but I've seen professional staff and support staff wear tank tops, low cut tops, clothing that reveals their tatoos (I'm not opposed to tatoos, I just think they should be covered when working with children and adults who have emotional/behavioral issues), sheer shirts, bra straps showing, sandles with toes exposed, flip flops, short shorts, ,mini skirts, mini dresses, thongsvisible under clothing, bras visiable under cloting . . . you name it I've seen it!

I'm not saying that we need to legislate or dictate what people need to wear, but what bothers me that we are not aware, not cognitively aware of what some children/people are able to accept on a day to day basis.

It amazes me the number of staff who come to me angry and indignant that a student has invaded their privacy by "looking" or commenting on their attair. I want to say, "Look at what you're wearing!!! " I know that I personally take out my clothing each day before I go to my job and say, "Is this okay? Will this cause distress?" I don't think that's too much to ask of any therapist or person who works with people who have experienced trauma. Just my take on things

T wears a decent t-shirt and khaki shorts and sometimes flip flops. He shaves his legs because he is a triathlete. I love his summer outfit.

Thanks! I went to look up what it meant after I'd posted the above, but it's interesting what you say about difference between pedicures and just painting the toenails. I wouldn't know the difference, I'm sure, but that's because I don't notice things like that unless I remember to look for them specifically.

My mother was always barefooted and since I was usually on the floor...all ide see was her feet, and the way I could tell she was comin to get me..was her footsteps...bare feet and toes scare the sh* out of me.


as for summer clothes, I just hope my T wears flats or something,
and I would mind if she wore shorts...and
I dont like it if shes wearing way too low neck shirts :O its something about being revealing that scares me D: I dont know what it is..
I mean if she ever did come in like that, I could probably ignore it.

Have the staff been given training to understand how their clothing can affect the people they work with? I know that I would never be able to work that out on my own. Think of it as being colour blind, perhaps - signals that are obvious to you and many others may be invisible to some other people.

Good question, Apteryx. Yes, I've actually done a few trainings over the years on the topic. People do seem to be blind when it comes this subject, even after receiving training. It's as if what is being said doesn't apply to them. Sad . . .and more than a little frustrating.

Yeah, my stepmother had this thing she did with her jaw so mouths affect me. My T, looking at pictures, didn't like my stepmother's eyes but I explained to her that, since I was a kid, shorter, I had to look up at her mouth/ bottom jaw moving so that was what I'd see most.

I usually wore jeans to T and T was usually business casual, well matched and colors to suit her.

Regarding summer clothes .... T did something that kinda stung, and I'm not sure why. He gets cold easily, so he's always covered up. He usually wears slacks and a shirt, sometimes with a tie, with a sweater over it. Last session it was quite warm, and when he came out to get me he was just wearing a long-sleeved shirt and the sleeves were rolled up to the elbows. I noticed immediately and looked at his forearms, but I don't think I stared. (Heck, I had never seen his forearms before!) When we got into his office and he sat down, he rolled his sleeves back down. I almost said, "Don't roll your sleeves down!!" but managed to contain myself.

This makes me think that he's comfortable enough with other people to roll up his sleeves and be casual, but with me he needs to be more formal. He doesn't act formal with me. This is bothering me enough I'm wondering if I should bring it up ..................

Maybe he just got cold when he sat down and stopped moving around, Bunny.

@ shoez, THANK YOU! I had never realized why I found feet so gruesome and upsetting. My mother is ALWAYS barefoot and her feet are horrible looking. I remember hiding under the beds and seeing her feet when she was coming to get me. I had never made that link before.

I think you should tell him your reaction about this, because it is important. Also, look at what you told us - he gets cold easily, maybe that's why he rolled his sleeves down. Or it is possible he caught your glance - they're good at that stuff. Maybe he was trying to help you. You won't know until you ask.

Yeah my T's hands and arms are like identical to my dad's. and I spent a lot of time looking at them because we used to have tea parties and other things at the dinner table in the evening while my mother was at work. so I have mentioned to T that they are kind of triggering for me.

You guys are right, I should ask. I have a huge huge problem in being overly sensitive to any perceived sign of rejection. Therapy is really helping with this, as I've learned to ask T to clarify things he's said when they bother me. But these seems so trivial, I'm not sure if I'm going to be able to bring it up.

Seriously ....... "Hey T, you hurt my feelings when you rolled down your sleeves" Gah.