[Wren_]

i have questions about si/sh but don't want to trigger so please be careful if reading ahead
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I wondered how your therapists respond to talking about self injury?

is it something they can handle?
does it concern them?
do they suggest medication is the only solution?
do they want to find out what causes the thoughts?
do they show understanding?
have they helped at all?
if so, what have they done to help?
do they want you to tell them if you have si thoughts?
do they want you to tell them if you have si'd?
do they suggest hospital for si'ing?
does it make them uncomfortable to talk about this?
do you feel safe sharing with them?
do you tell them the truth if they are able to hear it?
do they criticise you for it?

that's ... a start of what i was thinking about

thanks

Old t used to freak out, which just made me ashamed and afraid and want to do it more. She made a big deal about it.

This t, its not too big s deal. She can handle it. Nothing phases her. She might get annoyed or say it was a dumb thing to do, she is just straight forward like that.shes out of the country right now, but when she is home, or if we are video chatting,she might ask to see what we did-- usually i refuse to let her see, but she knows she can get some of the younger alters to show her-- they are tattle tales and she knows it she never suggest hospitalization or makes us feel bad. Her not making a big deal of it is probably the most helpful thing.

[nicoleb2]

Originally Posted by tigergirl

is it something they can handle? Yes, she can definitely handle it
does it concern them? yep
do they suggest medication is the only solution? no, in fact she doesn't really think that meds are the solution to si at all
do they want to find out what causes the thoughts? yes, we talk about it whenever she knows i have been thinking about it
have they helped at all?
if so, what have they done to help? she has helped, by helping me come up with other things i can do, and being available if i need to call
do they want you to tell them if you have si thoughts? yes
do they want you to tell them if you have si'd? yes
do they suggest hospital for si'ing? not unless she knows that I am si'ing as a way of preventing suicide
does it make them uncomfortable to talk about this? no
do you feel safe sharing with them? some days I do, other days, I'd rather do just about anything else
do you tell them the truth if they are able to hear it? sometimes
do they criticise you for it? no, never

that's ... a start of what i was thinking about

thanks

hope this helps

[learning1]

I don't know as I never talked to my t other than mentioning sui thoughts on my first visit. But good for you for asking the questions on here.

[stopdog]

Originally Posted by tigergirl

i have questions about si/sh but don't want to trigger so please be careful if reading ahead
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I wondered how your therapists respond to talking about self injury?

is it something they can handle? Yes
does it concern them? Somewhat but the ones I see do not make a big deal of it
do they suggest medication is the only solution? No. Not at all
do they want to find out what causes the thoughts? If I do-they leave that to me
do they show understanding? Yes
have they helped at all? Not much because so much of mine is triggered by therapy itself
if so, what have they done to help?
do they want you to tell them if you have si thoughts? I don't know they seem to leave it to me
do they want you to tell them if you have si'd? I don't know they seem to leave it to me
do they suggest hospital for si'ing? No - never
does it make them uncomfortable to talk about this? Does not seem to
do you feel safe sharing with them? Yes
do you tell them the truth if they are able to hear it? Yes
do they criticise you for it? No

My experience answers above - I tried to change the color but it does not seem to have worked.

[suzzie]

first t. asked a few questions at first. then rarely brought it up.
second t. i told (in a poem i gave her). she never said anything.
this t. im not telling probably. because i dont think she would like it.

Current T seems concerned and says he is concerned but says ultimately he is not responsible for my life ...but points out who it would hurt including himself.

I think he does this so that I don't do anything to "get back at him".. Just a thought

[dolphingirl]

is it something they can handle? Yes
does it concern them? Yes because it is hurtful, dangerous, and could lead to something more
do they suggest medication is the only solution? Never mentioned it as a solution. From what I understand, the solution is finding out why it's happening
do they want to find out what causes the thoughts? Yes
do they show understanding? Yes
have they helped at all? Yes, it doesn't happen any more or as often
if so, what have they done to help? Trying to figure out why it happens(ed)
do they want you to tell them if you have si thoughts? Yes, though when harming was common I wasn't asked every week but several times. Telling about thoughts helps a person to realize what they did not to act and can lead to talking about prevention.
do they want you to tell them if you have si'd?
do they suggest hospital for si'ing? Only if I was in danger of doing serious harm which I haven't been
does it make them uncomfortable to talk about this? Nope, t's had other people
do you feel safe sharing with them? definitly
do you tell them the truth if they are able to hear it? Yes
do they criticise you for it? Not at all

[SoupDragon]

i have questions about si/sh but don't want to trigger so please be careful if reading ahead
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I wondered how your therapists respond to talking about self injury?

is it something they can handle?

They seem to be OK with it, actually my T's website states they deal with clients with SI

does it concern them?

I don't think it concerns them working with me, but once they have expressed concern that I should not go and hurt myself after a hard session and have asked that I telephone them before I SI

do they suggest medication is the only solution?

No, T hasn't explicitly stated it, but I sense they do not approve of me taking medication

do they want to find out what causes the thoughts?

Yes, they have said that SI is a symptom and it is the cause we need to get to

do they show understanding?

Absolute

have they helped at all?

Hard to say, but it has certainly decreased

if so, what have they done to help?

I think it has been looking at the underlying stuff

do they want you to tell them if you have si thoughts?

Yes, they have said to phone - although I have a phone phobia and can't

do they want you to tell them if you have si'd?

No, we rarely talk about it

do they suggest hospital for si'ing?

This has never been discussed

does it make them uncomfortable to talk about this?

We rarely talk about it, T said this is because it can increase the behaviour, by giving it attention

do you feel safe sharing with them?

I am ashamed to talk about it, but I would feel safe if I did talk about it

do you tell them the truth if they are able to hear it?

I might not offer information, but I would never lie to T

do they criticise you for it?

Never

Hope you are going OK TG -

[WikidPissah]

I wondered how your therapists respond to talking about self injury? He responds really well.

is it something they can handle? yes
does it concern them? actually no, he tries to normalize it.
do they suggest medication is the only solution? Not the only solution, but he suggests it.
do they want to find out what causes the thoughts? Yes
do they show understanding? Lots of it
have they helped at all? Yes, i haven't si'd in quite some time.
if so, what have they done to help? He helped me to be able to say no.
do they want you to tell them if you have si thoughts? only if I want to.
do they want you to tell them if you have si'd? only if I want to talk about it.
do they suggest hospital for si'ing? never
does it make them uncomfortable to talk about this? I don't think so
do you feel safe sharing with them? sometimes
do you tell them the truth if they are able to hear it? I try to
do they criticise you for it? Absolutely not, never.

My si stuff was a little different, it wasn't as much a coping mechanism as it was me "hearing" voices demanding me to do it. I have since learned that I don't have to obey those command, they really can't hurt me if I don't.

[sarahplainandshort]

My T is very nondirective, so we only talk about it if I bring it up. When I mention it, he never makes a big deal out of it, I think because he knows it (my si) really really freaks me out.

The most forceful thing he has ever said about it is that he doesn't like it when people he likes hurt themselves. I didn't appreciate that comment because it felt controlling, and also because I don't like to be reminded that he likes me.

One of the most helpful things he has ever said to me: I was upset I did it after a long period of time and was disappointed and discouraged and feeling really crazy about it. He said, it's okay, just try [to stop] again. Kind of like people who try to stop smoking or drinking, if you fall off the wagon just dust yourself off and get back on again. No point in beating yourself up over it.

That really helped, because sometimes I would get so anxious about si'ing that it would make me si even more, to stop the anxiety.

So yes, he can handle it, it does concern him and he is understanding.

[BlessedRhiannon]

is it something they can handle? Yes
does it concern them? She mostly tries to normalize it, but it does seem to concern her. I think the concern is more the physical and emotional toll it takes on me rather than the actual act itself
do they suggest medication is the only solution? No. My T knew that medication was off the table right from the start, so she's suggested other ways to handle it.
do they want to find out what causes the thoughts? Yes, and for me to be more aware of the thoughts and emotions that trigger the si, so that I can find other ways to cope with them
do they show understanding? Absolutely. I would never have told her if I didn't think she'd be understanding.
have they helped at all? Surprisingly, yes. My si has decreased significantly in the past 6 months or so.
if so, what have they done to help? I think it's a lot of things. Helping me to see that it's not something I have to be terribly ashamed of. Listening and allowing me to talk about it without judging me. Teaching me other ways to deal with my emotions and thoughts. Helping me to be more aware of the triggering thoughts and emotions. Helping me to see that it's okay to have and express emotions and that I dont' have to keep everything so self-contained.
do they want you to tell them if you have si thoughts? Yes, so that we can work through what is triggering those thoughts and come up with other options.
do they want you to tell them if you have si'd? Yes, again, so that we can discuss what triggered it and talk about other ways I might have handled things.
do they suggest hospital for si'ing? No. It's never entered the conversation in 3 years.
does it make them uncomfortable to talk about this? It does not seem to make her uncomfortable at all. It makes ME incredibly uncomfortable, but my T is just calm and listens.
do you feel safe sharing with them? It took me a while (like a year and a half) before I felt safe enough to share, but, yes, I do now.
do you tell them the truth if they are able to hear it? Yup
do they criticise you for it? Never. My T usually says that she feels honored that I've chosen to share this with her.

ETA: My si is actually an OCD behavior, so we talk about it often. For me, not talking about it makes it worse. Talking about it has actually been the thing that's helped the most in trying to overcome it. So, my situation may be a bit different than others.

[lostmyway21]

is it something they can handle? yes
does it concern them? yes a lot
do they suggest medication is the only solution? no of course not, hand toys, rubber bands on wrist.
do they want to find out what causes the thoughts? yes thats the only true way to stop the self harm
do they show understanding? always he cares for me
have they helped at all? sometimes just having a nonjugemental understaning person is all i need
if so, what have they done to help? listened and cared
do they want you to tell them if you have si thoughts? always I someties text beforehand, I am aloud to call before to try and prevent
do they want you to tell them if you have si'd? i usually mention in email or session
do they suggest hospital for si'ing? no way
does it make them uncomfortable to talk about this? not at all
do you feel safe sharing with them? i feel safe sharing anything with him
do you tell them the truth if they are able to hear it? i always tell him the truth
do they criticise you for it? never

Interesting responses, all, thanks! I think I told ex-T, but she didn't react in any way at all that I can recall. (It's weird how little I can remember of what she actually said to me. ) I haven't mustered the courage to tell current T yet. In any case it's been some time since I SId (though I do feel the urge to do so quite frequently) so I'm not sure it's important enough to bring up.

[anilam]

Love your Qs. Cheers

is it something they can handle? Absolutely.
does it concern them? I don't think so and if it does he's good at not letting me know that or it could be my wishful thinking...
do they suggest medication is the only solution? Never.
do they want to find out what causes the thoughts? Yes. He's pretty adamant about that
do they show understanding? I got mad when he'd tried so not anymore
have they helped at all? Surprisingly yes.
if so, what have they done to help? By acting calm, asking why, how I feel ect. plus I'm pretty sure there's some kind of magic on his part involved.
do they want you to tell them if you have si thoughts? He never told me directly- I think it's implied in: talk about what's running through your head.
do they want you to tell them if you have si'd? The same applies here.
do they suggest hospital for si'ing? Never- hospital's just not an option for me and he knows that.
does it make them uncomfortable to talk about this? No- I'm the uncomfortable one.
do you feel safe sharing with them? Yes, I know he can take it and won't use it against me.
do you tell them the truth if they are able to hear it? Yep- otherwise, what would be the point of therapy?
do they criticise you for it? I would be out of the door and never coming back if he did. It's not his place to criticize any type of my behavior.

[tkdgirl]

is it something they can handle? So far yes
does it concern them? T seems to normalize it and not make a big deal of it
do they suggest medication is the only solution? Never mentioned medication
do they want to find out what causes the thoughts? Yes T has tried
do they show understanding? Yes
have they helped at all? Sorta
if so, what have they done to help? By not making a big deal of it and saying its just a coping mechanism, not necessarily the best one though
do they want you to tell them if you have si thoughts? I think its up to me
do they want you to tell them if you have si'd? Again I think its up to me
do they suggest hospital for si'ing? Never
does it make them uncomfortable to talk about this? Nope
do you feel safe sharing with them? Yes, though its not easy
do you tell them the truth if they are able to hear it? Yes
do they criticise you for it? Never