[trdleblue]

So, this comes from a comment on another thread, but the question is different (at least to me) from what that thread was about. I'm curious how many people think they are an expert on themselves. I don't think that I know myself at all. Sure, I know myself better the anyone else, but to me it would be equivalent to saying that species X was discovered today, and since I was the first to see it, I am an expert. I know my history, and I know what I am doing, but I really don't think that I am connected, or know who I am at all. Is this unusual?

I hope that I'm not repeating another thread, and if it's okay I would like to thank Perna for making me think about this.

[stopdog]

To the extent I understand what you mean - yes I am an expert on myself. I know where I begin and end. I know my own boundaries. Me I am fine with. Other people baffle the snot out of me.

[Chopin99]

I am not. That is why I am in therapy now...to figure out who I am and make changes to the things I don't like.

[trdleblue]

Originally Posted by stopdog

To the extent I understand what you mean - yes I am an expert on myself. I know where I begin and end. I know my own boundaries. Me I am fine with. Other people baffle the snot out of me.

Both other people, and myself, baffle me.

[trdleblue]

Originally Posted by Chopin99

I am not. That is why I am in therapy now...to figure out who I am and make changes to the things I don't like.

That's part of the problem. I can't even figure out what all needs to be changed, except for me becoming more aware of who I am. I guess I'm screwed if I can't make it past that.

[missbelle]

Well, just when I think I know myself along comes an issue that I have no experience with and again I do not know myself.....we are all on a journey I know and problems keep presenting themselves and thats how we grow...I am not sure we ever truly know ourselves completely

[autotelica]

My therapist always says I'm the best expert on myself and then turns around and disagrees with my assessment about myself.

[trdleblue]

Originally Posted by autotelica

My therapist always says I'm the best expert on myself and then turns around and disagrees with my assessment about myself.

I confuse myself enough, this would drive me batty.

[pbutton]

I know myself very well, but I think there are some areas in which I have a blind spot. I like to ignore negative things & think only about my awesomeness.

[skeksi]

I didn't used to know myself at all. With T's help, I am really figuring myself out! I can even disagree with his perceptions sometimes now

[unaluna]

if you're the expert, can anyone help you? I think I can't see the forest for the trees, so that's what I need my T to do - help me make the mental connections I can't (or won't or just don't) make on my own. I may own my data, but together we generate the information.

[scorpiosis37]

Yes, I am an expert on myself. I'm self-aware; I understand my feelings, my reactions, my desires, my fears. I know what makes me tick and I'm comfortable in my own skin. Now, if only I could understand my partner, my family, and my friends that well!

And if only my T could understand me that well! She does a good job-- better than most of the people in my life-- but she's no "me." I try to give her the "scorpiosis" handbook, but no one ever gets it as well as the person who wrote the manual

[sunrise]

Originally Posted by trdleblue

Are you an expert on yourself?

I am more expert on myself than others are. Early in therapy, my T said to me, "only you know what you need to heal", and then he expected me to go for that and let him in on it so he could help me find that healing. This was really empowering to me, "T knows that I know what I need to heal!" and I believed him. I learned to look inside myself and move towards "healing". I did seem to know what moved me closer and what moved me further away. It surprised me that I knew, but I did. I had to get better at listening to what my insides knew. It did make a lot of sense that I would know a lot better than T what I needed to heal. How would he know? He just met me but I had known myself for decades. I have always felt very empowered by that statement of his and when I feel stuck in life or therapy I remember his words and look within.

No, I am not.

[ETA: I think hankster said it very well.]

Early in therapy, my T said to me, "only you know what you need to heal"

I sort of understand what you mean when you say you were empowered by the statement, but for me it would be stressful and set me plunging deeper into despair. I'm glad your T knew to use the right phrase with you!

[Perna]

My T and I got to the point where we agreed I'd quit saying "I don't know" in answer to questions about how I felt, thought, etc. I had to learn and practice going in and "checking my heart" to get my responses in my life.

[kiki86]

i once said to my T in response to something (can't remember what it was) "Well i know myself best don't i?!" and he said "do you? then why are you here?" and he was right. because i don't know myself at all. i don't know what makes me happy, i don't know why i react the way i do to situations/people/feelings etc.

[unaluna]

well now we know how to choose sides for the Tug-0-War at the annual picnic

[kiki86]

Originally Posted by hankster

well now we know how to choose sides for the Tug-0-War at the annual picnic

ha ha. there does seem to be a good split.

[sittingatwatersedge]

this thread made me think about the Johari Window



we all can be depicted this way; the task in therapy is to maximize the 'arena', and minimize the 'facade', the 'blind spot' and the 'unknown' (although this last can never be completely eliminated)... whether the allocations we make, or our T's make, would be the same, is a question. what do you think?

[stopdog]

I get the maximizing arena and minimizing blind spot. Facade and unknown I am kind of okay with.

Before therapy I didn't know much about me at all. My thoughts were like a tennis match. I'd go along with one thought until someone else gave another point of view and I'd go along with that one.

I am still developing a sense of what's really me, it's hard because who I would have been didn't survive my childhood complete.

Therapy helps me find those fragmented parts and begin to put them together. Sometimes I enjoy someone saying something like "oh I know you would like this". Yet other times that same statement said wrong can upset me and I want to scream "no you don't know what I would like".

[WikidPissah]

I think I need to minimize the arena.

[trdleblue]

Originally Posted by sittingatwatersedge

this thread made me think about the Johari Window



we all can be depicted this way; the task in therapy is to maximize the 'arena', and minimize the 'facade', the 'blind spot' and the 'unknown' (although this last can never be completely eliminated)... whether the allocations we make, or our T's make, would be the same, is a question. what do you think?

I think I have a sprinkling of arena with a lot of facade and a lot of blind spot.