[sunrise]

I would like to hear how people react when their T asks them this question. Does it help you? Does your T even ask this question--how common is this?

This week I asked T why therapists ask clients this question. I was referencing our previous session doing trauma work with a protocol that includes asking the client to develop a positive resource state (PRS). This is done by asking the client where she has a safe feeling in her body. I had to identify 3 such places, then another place in my body where I felt I could release energy, and then another 3 places in my body that felt safe. T kept repeating them in sequence, "your right foot, your thigh, your neck...." Connect the dots came to mind. It is impossible for me to hold 7 things in my mind at once (I think research shows most humans can only hold 3-4 at once), and this was disruptive to my trying to be in a feeling mode because it kept pulling me back to an analytic/cognitive mode to remember 7 things in sequence. Plus, the 7 places didn't feel particularly "safe", they just felt normal and OK, i.e. not in any particular pain. I felt kind of dumb to have to keep listing body parts for T, like I was being insincere and just "faking" having safe body parts, but I really wanted to try this protocol as T had spoken highly of it, so I tried to comply with his instructions.

So this week, T explained to me that the "body" element of the protocol was supposed to help me feel a bodily state I can easily return to from the traumatic incident as we do the work. In much the same way EMDR uses alternating stimulation, this protocol uses alternating back and forth between the trauma memory and the PRS or safe place. In addition to T's trying to establish the PRS with me with bodily sensations, he had also asked me to visualize a color I associated with this state. This was very easy for me, I told him the color in an instant. I could return to it quickly and feel safe, positive, stable, strong, etc. When we did the trauma protocol, I used the color to access the PRS. I did not use the bodily parts, as I couldn't remember them all and they didn't really feel "safe" anyway, they were just parts I told T to cooperate with him in the protocol.

This week I suggested to T that maybe I was impaired in body feelings and that had not helped me return to the PRS during our work. At the end of a meeting of a therapy group I am in, the leader (not my T) asked the members what they were feeling in their bodies. I asked T how is it helpful to therapists to know this information? (It isn't helping me, the client, so I am assuming the T is getting something out of it.) I felt T was a little annoyed by my really digging into this topic, but I really wanted to know! T told me this isn't for the therapist, but for the client--it's a way for the client to deepen their understanding of what they are feeling. So if I client says "I feel sad," and the T asks "where do you feel that in your body?", the client can identify a specific body part and that allows him to know his sadness at a deeper level. T told me this is the way it is for most people. That made me feel defective and different, like this works for everyone but me, what is wrong with me? I told T I felt feelings in a more holistic way, not just associated with one body part, and if he asked me what I was feeling, I would just tell him "sad" or "scared" or "joyful" without having to reference my body. By asking me about the body, T takes me away from the feeling to a more analytical mode. (It's kind of annoying, like T is changing the subject from my feeling to my body right after I share with him what is perhaps a difficult feeling. It feels like he is avoiding engaging with me when he changes the subject to my body.) Listing a body part for T really doesn't seem to deepen my awareness of a feeling, but I guess I do it because I am game for most things in therapy and perhaps just to satisfy him.

I feel like the body feeling emphasis adds an unnecessary step to doing feeling work, grief work, trauma work. If I know what I am feeling and can report that to T, he shouldn't need the intermediate body sensation. It's like I know both English and French and can translate English (the feeling) into French (voicing the feeling to T) quite easily. But T is asking me to first translate English into Japanese (the body sensation) and then Japanese into French. So much more direct to just go from English straight to French for me! I didn't share this analogy with T.

Anyway, I felt T was kind of annoyed by all my questions and I also left with a subtle feeling that I am weird and defective because I feel my feelings more holistically rather than just associated with one body part.

There is one situation where I know I feel an emotion in a body part and that is stress. I have TMJ syndrome and when I get really stressed out, my jaw hurts. I don't understand why this would help T to know this, though.

I also read the book Mindsight, in which the therapist uses feeling sensations in their bodies to help clients who are not in touch with their feelings get in touch with them. Becoming aware of their bodies helped these clients access feelings. But I am not an unfeeling, unexpressive client. I feel lots of things and am very aware of my feelings. T didn't reference Mindsight, but it made me wonder if he sees me as a unfeeling, emotionally inaccessible person and so that is why he suggests this body stuff to me.

I usually see T every 2 weeks, but after this last session, I chose a 3 week interval. I felt distance between us on this topic so I think I wanted more temporal distance too.

Oh, and the trauma protocol turned out to be a great thing and really helped me, despite my difficulty with the body component. I really liked it--a session I will remember for a long time.

Sorry this is so long. I have been thinking about all of this a lot.

[Perna]

I'm often surprised when I "accidentally" let my shoulders relax, that they were so tense in the first place! I spend so much time in my head, I forget my body, do not consider it part of me (it is) and only notice places of pain (my shoulder, knee, stomach/intestines a couple nights ago when I ate something that did not agree with me). I think though, like the idiot rhyme, "dem bones" http://kids.niehs.nih.gov/games/song...s/bonesmid.htm everything is connected and "hangs" together to make a whole, I need to consider my posture hunched here at the computer as well as my sleeping position to get my shoulder to not hurt?

When my T would (very rarely) ask me about where I felt something in my body, I usually only came up with chest or gut. I have asthma and know what it feels like to have constricted breathing and the gut is one of the main organs of the body; it is a wonder I did not have more headaches with all the over-thinking I did/do?

I think any answer would be good, just stopping and thinking about the question can only be helpful, even if we end up with no clear answer from our selves/body. We can't know what or where we feel if we are not aware "that" we do, whether we think so or not.

t has never asked me that and i am glad!!! i would feel the same way or even that t is maybe being a pervert... too many past traumas for me maybe?????

[Sunne]

T doesn't ask me 'where' but 'what'.

"What do you feel in your body right now?"

The first time he asked this I was like.. HUH! But then I realized my whole body was tingling or a feeling of lifting. I now can recognize this feeling when I am really dissociating.
Another time was extreme heat all through my body, and it was connected to shame. I get that feeling a lot when talking about childhood.

It gave me a bit of awareness, that I found somewhat helpful. I think if he asked me 'where' in my body I feel sadness or something, I would look at him like he had 2 heads.

I read a good book called: The Body Remembers. It's how traumatic memory is stored in the body. Might be a good read if you are going to be doing more of this work.

[WikidPissah]

I hate hate hate that question.

Just hate it, absolutely. Especially when T doesn't take "I don't know" as an answer and I have to make something up.

[rainbow8]

Thanks for bringing this topic up again, sunrise. I don't like that question either; in fact I hate it but my T isn't going to stop asking it because she is taking a 3 year course on somatic experiencing! I've resigned myself that this will be good for me and that I will "get over" my reluctance to think and talk about my body.

Your T's explanation helped me as I know nothing about this subject. My T also told me something about finding a part of my body that feels okay. She asked if my feet feel all right.

I have a feeling that for me, this body work will be helpful in dealing with shame as well as trauma.

I would suggest telling your T about your analogy next time, and your feelings that the body work is unnecessary. Maybe he will agree with you, or possibly there is a deeper reason you are resisting it and that would be something to think and talk about. I'm not trying to "play T" here, just thinking about my own situation and wondering why I hate that question too.

[critterlady]

I'm very glad that my T has never asked me what parts of my body feel safe. I have no idea what that means.

[suzzie]

i hope t never does this. way too close and uncomfortable for me.

[geez]

I too hate the 'wear do you feel something in your body?'. I find I feel 'on the spot' and need to come up with an answer BUT there are times where I do have a 'feeling' of the physical sorts (tightning of the throat; a heaviness in my chest etc..). Often times when I can feel the physical part I can usually associate it with a memory or a feeling. Sometimes I feel nothing. - I think some of lack of feeling has to do with trusting T combined with feeling self conscious of my body, feeling shut down emotionally; judging myself for not doing it right or feeling like I frustrate T or I don't deserve to have these emotions.

Thank you for bringing this topic up!! I often think I am the only one who isn't a fan of the questions!

[bamapsych]

My exT asked me this question during my second session with her. It really freaked me out and I made a fool out of myself lol. We were talking about different emotions and I picked anxiety since that's my main struggle. She then asked where I feel it in my body. I told her how my belly hurts and I stay in the restroom on the toilet most of the time when I get really nervous. I know that's NOT what she wanted to hear lmbo I have no idea how she kept her composure. If the roles were reversed, I would have busted out laughing probably to the point of tears. That was the one and only time she ever asked me that question needless to say.

[critterlady]

I guess I could handle "where do you feel it?" Because I do feel emotions physically sometimes.

I just couldn't handle identifying a part of my body that's safe. I mean, my left big toe has never done anything bad to me, so I guess it's safe. I doubt that what they mean, though.

[bluemountains]

The only time we have discussed body feelings was when t wanted to know how my panic attacks affect me. The other body work we do is practicing self-hypnosis. I am not sure that I could figure out a safe part of my body. I wonder what the classes are like that teach you what questions to ask as a t.

[Mike_J]

My therapist used to ask that question quite often. But hasn't for a few years I think she realized that it's not that helpful of a question to ask, not just me but anyone. It's probably in a text book someplace.

[Butterflies Are Free]

My T is a trained trauma therapist and is studying somatic healing. During my sessions, we focus on what's happening in my body. This is a positive thing for me because I used to stay in my head quite a bit and now I am able to start to release some of the trauma that is stored in my body. I think you need to do whatever feels comfortable to you, though. Peter Levine has done a great deal of research on this topic.

My T is always asking this because she believes that all emotions are felt in your body and if you don't release those emotions it manifests itself as sickness and pain...and she is right throughout my depression I suffered with aches and pains and dodgy stomach everyday! Its a very important question.

[kiki86]

odd. i've never been asked that question. nor would i know how to answer it, or how on earth that would help me. is it specific to trauma therapy or something?

Originally Posted by kiki86

odd. i've never been asked that question. nor would i know how to answer it, or how on earth that would help me. is it specific to trauma therapy or something?

Not really sure Kiki but I am very interested to know if it is specifically for trauma work!

[Wren_]

I get asked that by one T and have struggled a LOT with it; for a long time it irritated me, made me upset, confused things and seemed such a pointless exercise and such a complete waste of time both for me and for T. I'm slowly, very slowly, starting to see the value in it. Although thankfully it isn't as detailed as the 7 part analysis you mentioned; more a what are you feeling and where within your body. I'm starting to see that doing it now isn't as irritating or confusing or upsetting ... but more, gradually starting to be calming. Taking my focus away from the strong feelings that I can't cope with and helping somehow to become more relaxed without actually needing to "do" anything. It's also helping me start to take more ownership of my body (something I really don't know if i want to do?? and yet maybe it is a good thing?). There was an article or blog or something a few days ago on PC about just this and saying how it is being used more; now to find it again! (it's there somewhere but where i don't know)

[Silent_tsol]

Originally Posted by Sunne

T doesn't ask me 'where' but 'what'.

"What do you feel in your body right now?"

The first time he asked this I was like.. HUH! But then I realized my whole body was tingling or a feeling of lifting. I now can recognize this feeling when I am really dissociating.
Another time was extreme heat all through my body, and it was connected to shame. I get that feeling a lot when talking about childhood.

It gave me a bit of awareness, that I found somewhat helpful. I think if he asked me 'where' in my body I feel sadness or something, I would look at him like he had 2 heads.

I read a good book called: The Body Remembers. It's how traumatic memory is stored in the body. Might be a good read if you are going to be doing more of this work.

Hmm, you know, I might actually be able to answer that one. What am I feeling physically is what I'm going to try to answer next time. Because if I can say "I feel tingly", then I can look for where tingly is. Seems much easier than looking for sad or anxiety.

Originally Posted by WikidPissah

I hate hate hate that question.

Just hate it, absolutely. Especially when T doesn't take "I don't know" as an answer and I have to make something up.

"take your time" grrr, also hate it

[splitimage]

My T hasn't asked me this recently, we're working on other stuff, but when we were doing heavy duty EMDR, she'd always ask me what and where I'm feeling in my body. I found it very helpful, because I absolutely somatize everything, and in the begining couldn't verbally express my emotions - it's like I didn't have the words, but I could describe feeling like I had a ball of knives rotating under my shoulder blade. I'm getting better about connecting physical sensations to emotions, although I find I predominantly feel things in my body.

splitimage

[velcro003]

i'm glad i'm not the only one who HATES it! i can never answer. i just shrug and go "i don't know." i don't know how i'll ever know, but my (EMDR) T keeps asking

[rainbow8]

It seems like Ts who do EMDR like this question! They also like somatic experiencing and mind/body work. It all seems to go together with that orientation.

[sunrise]

Thank you for all the comments. I like seeing that I am not the only one who has difficulty with naming specific body parts as holding feelings. It makes me feel not so weird!

Originally Posted by bamapsych

She then asked where I feel it in my body. I told her how my belly hurts and I stay in the restroom on the toilet most of the time when I get really nervous. I know that's NOT what she wanted to hear lmbo

What do you think she wanted to hear? What you said sounds OK to me!

Originally Posted by rainbow8

I would suggest telling your T about your analogy next time, and your feelings that the body work is unnecessary.

I hadn't made up the analogy when we spoke, but I did tell him the body parts wasn't that helpful to me. I did try gamely to name 7 parts during the protocol, so I wasn't resisting that. I tried really hard to do all parts of the protocol as he guided me through them. I am not reluctant to think of bodies or squeamish about them, so that's not it. For whatever reason, I ususally experience things in a more holistic way rather than isolating stuff to one body part. I try never to say "I don't know" to my T, but next time I might be more honest and tell him during the protocol that I don't know what body part is particularly safe. Maybe I can just say "everywhere" and that would be good enough.

My T did seem pleased that the color associated with the positive resource state worked so easily for me. He said different things work for different people. I am a really visual person, so that must be why the color works. A different trauma method T told me about once involves visualizing a place from one's past that one feels safe, like the grassy street corner from one's childhood home, the warm and comfy attic, a clearing in a forest grove, or wherever. I am also able to do this easily. T said the important thing for the protocol we did was that I could readily access the positive resource state, which I could. So I guess the body thing isn't critical. Since he was there, T experienced himself how much the technique helped me; that success encourages me that I shouldn't stress too much because I can't do the body part thing well.

[sunrise]

Originally Posted by rainbow8

It seems like Ts who do EMDR like this question! They also like somatic experiencing and mind/body work. It all seems to go together with that orientation.

My T used to ask me body questions when we were doing EMDR a few years ago. It is part of the EMDR protocol, I believe. And T had me read the Peter Levine book so I know he was into somatic experiencing at that time too. Since I am more aware of my feelings now, I am also more aware of what works and what doesn't work as well for me. Back when we did EMDR, it didn't bother me as much about the body stuff because I was just trying to get through this super weird protocol as best as I could--so much going on in EMDR!

Originally Posted by Sunne

T doesn't ask me 'where' but 'what'.

"What do you feel in your body right now?"

I think I would find that easier to answer than where. Like if I felt depressed, I could say I felt slow and heavy, but it would be all over, not just in one foot. I think T asked me what did I feel in my body when we did EMDR. The first time we did EMDR, I felt very excited (heart pounding) and I told him that. He looked at me like this was strange, as I recall.

That reminds me that there was one thing I did feel in my body during the protocol at our recent trauma session, and I told T about it in the moment. When he asked me what part of my body would be one that would be safe to release energy from (the 4th part), I started almost immediately to say my chest/heart, but then had to stop myself, because my heart was beating really fast and hard. Like I was excited or anxious suddenly, so I knew that wouldn't be a safe place to release energy from, it was the opposite. So I picked another spot. Maybe I was feeling excited doing this new protocol just like I felt excited the very first time I did EMDR?

[nicoleb2]

I hate it when I get that question. My t is usually asking me to try to keep me from stuffing away my emotions. Somehow, if I feel it in my body, thats supposed to help, when in reality, I just hyperfocus on that one specific place, and more easilt stuff the feelings.