[geez]

I am doing EMDR with some talk therapy with T1. I have been going every other week because it can be really intense and I don't know if I can 'do more' with how busy my life is.

Today in EMDR my T mentioned how we need to really work on building a 'foundation' of security within myself in order to feel confidence etc...
She asked me if there was anyone I felt valued by in my life. I told her my grandmother made me feel that way (unfortunately she died when I was 13). T then asked if there was anyone else that I felt that from. Someone who I drew strength from to help me make the changes I wanted/needed in my life (health/wellness). I told her "you". "You believed in me when I didn't believe in myself". T just smiled and said is there anyone else? I said perhaps a teacher when I was in middle school. She praised my art work and I felt like she valued me. It felt like I mattered in the world.

We then went on to do some EMDR and we focused on my grandmother and how I felt about her and why. How I felt loved by her. My T then asked if there was anyone else I could think of and I wanted to say "You" but I didn't because in my head I said to myself: "perhaps that would make her feel uncomfortable?" "Perhaps the rules are it can never be about her?" - of course I kept this all in my head. When I see her again in two weeks I'm going to ask the questions I was asking in my head but never said out loud.

Any thoughts? - especially those who went through EMDR or therapy in general. Having it be about your T is ok? right? There really is no one else that I feel that unwavering support from (other than maybe marriage T as well - she is my other guardian angel).

Sorry for the book!

[unaluna]

well i'm not an emdr person, but some of my closest friends are (okay, one person outside of pc). but my feeling is that many of us here rely pretty strongly on our T's. nobody else has ever gotten me, so I would have to answer T to. if there's a rule against it, they need to adjust their rules for a group of us, idk.

I think in at least some types of therapy, the T's job is to create a feeling of safety and trust for the client, so the client ccan "open up" w/o fear of ridicule, judgment, cruelty, etc. If you told your T you felt valued and safe with her, I think she'd be pleased! It means she's doing her job.

And that's all part of building that foundation of security within yourself. I'm really kind of envious that you have that feeling of safety in your T r/s. I did, but lost it, and I don't know if I'll ever get it back. Oh well.

I don't know anything about EMDR, but it sounds like you're doing well and making progress. Soldier on!!!

[geez]

I guess by default my T knows that she is my 'support'. I had a really hard day after my appointment this morning and called her crying. I left a message and she called me back a few hours later. I had a hard time talking to her. I was triggered by what happened today at school and how it all related to what was talked about at my appointment this morning. My next appointment with T is in two weeks (at my request) and now I'm kind of wishing I didn't do that.

Thanks all for listening. Therapy can be so painful!

[rainbow8]

I am always embarrassed when my EMDR sessions turn out to be about my T but it happens often. When my T has asked who supports me, and who is there for me, I don't hesitate to say "you are" but she always wants to know "who else" so I name my close friend who supports me too.

I think it's always okay to say it's about the T but the T will want it to be about people who are in your life outside of therapy too.

There are no "rules in EMDR". My T used to tell me over and over that there is no right or wrong way to do it.

[geez]

Originally Posted by rainbow8

I am always embarrassed when my EMDR sessions turn out to be about my T but it happens often. When my T has asked who supports me, and who is there for me, I don't hesitate to say "you are" but she always wants to know "who else" so I name my close friend who supports me too.

I think it's always okay to say it's about the T but the T will want it to be about people who are in your life outside of therapy too.

There are no "rules in EMDR". My T used to tell me over and over that there is no right or wrong way to do it.

Thank you (((rainbow)))! I tried calling a friend before calling T but couldn't get a hold of them to talk. Someone might say: "What about your husband?". Not sure why I didn't call him. I did email him Those waters are a little muddy and he is anxious right now about things. I don't want to add to the 'pile'. T's 'are perfect' in some ways. And I totally get that we need people IRL to support us.

[monarch5061]

Originally Posted by geez

I am doing EMDR with some talk therapy with T1. I have been going every other week because it can be really intense and I don't know if I can 'do more' with how busy my life is.

Today in EMDR my T mentioned how we need to really work on building a 'foundation' of security within myself in order to feel confidence etc...
She asked me if there was anyone I felt valued by in my life. I told her my grandmother made me feel that way (unfortunately she died when I was 13). T then asked if there was anyone else that I felt that from. Someone who I drew strength from to help me make the changes I wanted/needed in my life (health/wellness). I told her "you". "You believed in me when I didn't believe in myself". T just smiled and said is there anyone else? I said perhaps a teacher when I was in middle school. She praised my art work and I felt like she valued me. It felt like I mattered in the world.

We then went on to do some EMDR and we focused on my grandmother and how I felt about her and why. How I felt loved by her. My T then asked if there was anyone else I could think of and I wanted to say "You" but I didn't because in my head I said to myself: "perhaps that would make her feel uncomfortable?" "Perhaps the rules are it can never be about her?" - of course I kept this all in my head. When I see her again in two weeks I'm going to ask the questions I was asking in my head but never said out loud.

Any thoughts? - especially those who went through EMDR or therapy in general. Having it be about your T is ok? right? There really is no one else that I feel that unwavering support from (other than maybe marriage T as well - she is my other guardian angel).

Sorry for the book!

It is normal to have feelings for your T. I have the same issue. I am able to talk to her about it at any time. However, she has expertise in transference so it is easy for her to talk with me about it. My feelings are incredibly intense but she has never made me feel ashamed about it. I have BPD
Borderline Personality Disorder so my emotions are intense for me and hard sometimes impossible to regulate. I hope your T. can talk with you about your feelings because it's important that you are able to express them.
Let me know how it goes I would be interested in hearing how it went.
Take good care and don't feel ashamed.