[trdleblue]

I am curious as to how those out there fight the urge to quit t? I have never had that urge as strong as I do now, and I don't think I will do it immediately, but I am scared that at one point I will just walk out and never return. When you have a whole life to change how do you start? Is change even possible? I am beginning to wonder about myself. How can I trust someone when I never have before? Perhaps it's too late, and perhaps I don't want change enough.

[stopdog]

I quit every week in my head. It just seems so pointless and like they just wait in wait for the underbelly to be exposed so they can rip you after they have told you they are safe.

[seventyeight]

hi trdleblue, i've been fighting that urge for a while now (oh and hey, i'm in DC too! )

i hope things resolve for you soon. is this something you might be able to talk to your therapist about?

[trdleblue]

Originally Posted by stopdog

I quit every week in my head. It just seems so pointless and like they just wait in wait for the underbelly to be exposed so they can rip you after they have told you they are safe.

I still don't fully feel safe. I don't think I feel safe anywhere. That is one of my problems. How can I ever get better if I don't trust anyone, or feel safe?

Originally Posted by seventyeight

hi trdleblue, i've been fighting that urge for a while now (oh and hey, i'm in DC too! )

i hope things resolve for you soon. is this something you might be able to talk to your therapist about?

Thank you for you response, and it's nice to hear from someone from D.C. I guess I'm glad to know that someone has been able to fight the urge for sometime. I hope I can do the same.

[stopdog]

They have to be safe and trustworthy. Usually I find they are not.

[trdleblue]

Originally Posted by stopdog

They have to be safe and trustworthy. Usually I find they are not.

For me, I think my T may be safe and trustworthy, but I still have trouble believing it. I'm not sure if I can ever trust or feel safe with anyone.

[0w6c379]

Originally Posted by trdleblue

I am curious as to how those out there fight the urge to quit t? I have never had that urge as strong as I do now, and I don't think I will do it immediately, but I am scared that at one point I will just walk out and never return. When you have a whole life to change how do you start? Is change even possible? I am beginning to wonder about myself. How can I trust someone when I never have before? Perhaps it's too late, and perhaps I don't want change enough.

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Hi trdleblue, you sound overwhelmed and lost. How long have you been seeing your T? I think it takes a long time, not weeks or months but more like years to delve into the root of problems and then to embark on a healing or corrective action to change behavior. I have thought numerous times about quitting. What keeps me going back is that I'm comfortable with my T and feel that he understands me. I have been to other T's yrs ago and they did not "get me". You ask "When you have a whole life to change how do you start?" All I could say to that is to start at the most critical problem you face on a daily basis. The problem that holds you back from functioning. You cannot take on everything at once. Have you asked your T what problem he/she feels you need to address first? Concentrate on one thing at a time. I have many problems myself and I'm glad you raised this question today because it is something that I should consider too. How can you trust someone? I have issues with that one too. No answers on this. You wonder if it is too late? I don't think so. You sound like you want to change but it is soooo hard to do. Hopefully that is where our T's will come in and offer guidance. Good luck!

[0w6c379]

Originally Posted by trdleblue

I am curious as to how those out there fight the urge to quit t? I have never had that urge as strong as I do now, and I don't think I will do it immediately, but I am scared that at one point I will just walk out and never return. When you have a whole life to change how do you start? Is change even possible? I am beginning to wonder about myself. How can I trust someone when I never have before? Perhaps it's too late, and perhaps I don't want change enough.

------------------------------------------------------------------
Hi trdleblue, you sound overwhelmed and lost. How long have you been seeing your T? I think it takes a long time, not weeks or months but more like years to delve into the root of problems and then to embark on a healing or corrective action to change behavior. I have thought numerous times about quitting. What keeps me going back is that I'm comfortable with my T and feel that he understands me. I have been to other T's yrs ago and they did not "get me". You ask "When you have a whole life to change how do you start?" All I could say to that is to start at the most critical problem you face on a daily basis. The problem that holds you back from functioning. You cannot take on everything at once. Have you asked your T what problem he/she feels you need to address first? Concentrate on one thing at a time. I have many problems myself and I'm glad you raised this question today because it is something that I should consider too. How can you trust someone? I have issues with that one too. No answers on this. You wonder if it is too late? I don't think so. You sound like you want to change but it is soooo hard to do. Hopefully that is where our T's will come in and offer guidance. Good luck!

[KazzaX]

I usually deal with it by cancelling my next appointment and not going back, lol.

Originally Posted by trdleblue

I am curious as to how those out there fight the urge to quit t? I have never had that urge as strong as I do now, and I don't think I will do it immediately, but I am scared that at one point I will just walk out and never return. When you have a whole life to change how do you start? Is change even possible? I am beginning to wonder about myself. How can I trust someone when I never have before? Perhaps it's too late, and perhaps I don't want change enough.

This is where true courage comes in. I've often felt a coward in my life but I kept turning up to therapy and I guess exposing myself with no real evidence I won't be hurt. Because that had been my exPereince growing up. But the more I went the new exPereince grew that this t I have really is a safe person. It started with just the room feeling safe then I realised she really was safe and could be relied on. My life changed whilst I was busy having your thoughts.

[elliemay]

Originally Posted by trdleblue

I am curious as to how those out there fight the urge to quit t? I have never had that urge as strong as I do now, and I don't think I will do it immediately, but I am scared that at one point I will just walk out and never return. When you have a whole life to change how do you start? Is change even possible? I am beginning to wonder about myself. How can I trust someone when I never have before? Perhaps it's too late, and perhaps I don't want change enough.

Well, you really don't have to change your whole life at all. You just have to look at whatever is getting the most "airtime" in your head right now. That's the catalyst to helping you feel better. That one little thing you are thinking about.

A good therapist can take that one little thing and help you to put it into a context of your past and present. They can help develop the narrative of your life. They can help you to see the patterns and how you are likely still carrying some stuff from the past into your present. They can help you see that unhappy yesterday doesn't mean unhappy tomorrow.

Just talk about that one little thing that's bothering you today. That's it. I think you will be very very surprised where it leads.

[bamapsych]

Originally Posted by trdleblue

I am curious as to how those out there fight the urge to quit t? I have never had that urge as strong as I do now, and I don't think I will do it immediately, but I am scared that at one point I will just walk out and never return. When you have a whole life to change how do you start? Is change even possible? I am beginning to wonder about myself. How can I trust someone when I never have before? Perhaps it's too late, and perhaps I don't want change enough.

It sounds to me like you are overwhelmed by stating "When you have a whole life to change how do you start? Is change even possible?" Also, like so many of us on PC, you have trust issues. It's so hard to open up to anybody when you have been hurt each and every time in the past. Sorry you are going through this. Just know there is hope my friend. Don't give up yet

[trdleblue]

Originally Posted by earthmamma

This is where true courage comes in. I've often felt a coward in my life but I kept turning up to therapy and I guess exposing myself with no real evidence I won't be hurt. Because that had been my exPereince growing up. But the more I went the new exPereince grew that this t I have really is a safe person. It started with just the room feeling safe then I realised she really was safe and could be relied on. My life changed whilst I was busy having your thoughts.

How long did it take for you to start to feel safe? I've already been in t for 8 months and I don't think I feel safe at all. It's strange, because I've told him things I've never told anyone else, but it's more because they were things I needed to get out, not because I felt safe with him.

If you had told him things you have internalised the safety already. I can't remember exactly when I finally realised he room was a safe space. I tank that happened before I was able to verbalise it as safety was a new concept for me.