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#1
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Hi this must have been discussed a lot before but I canīt find any old threads.
For those of you who email T do you reflect on what time it is. I emailed my ex-T at 10 pm yesterday and the day before that at 6 pm. Is that a boundary crossing ? I would never text/call that late but now I am almost embarressed if itīs the same? ![]() |
![]() WePow
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#2
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I don't think the time you email matters like a phone call would in terms of being disruptive. Your t can view email whenever. I keep timing in mind a bit because I known when mine tends to check hers. Depending on the day that's once every 24 hours or longer...
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-BJ ![]() |
#3
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My T allows email because it keeps me safe at any hour. T can check the email when he wants to check it. I know if it is something urgent I am expected to call him. So it all works out. If you are one of the lucky ones who are allowed open email to T as a therapy tool, that is exactly what they want us to use it for.
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![]() keepingalice
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#4
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Thanks.I donīt know if I am allowed or not. Itīs my ex-t who wrote me an mail to wich I had to reply twice. Just got embarresed if the mail would be send to her Iphone late at night also. I am usually good with boundaries. Apparently not emails and Iphone stuff. I have an old old old Nokia so the thought did not cross my mind
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#5
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I don't think it matters...unless you're looking for an immediate response. I would never expect to get a reply if I sent an email after 8:00 PM.
Plus, your time may not match the timestamp of your email. My hotmail is on GMT. So your therapist may not even readily know when you sent it. |
#6
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I think you'll be okay. A lot of my emails to T are written and sent in the early hours when my thoughts are racing and I can't sleep. My T probably would rather I email at 10pm - they'd probably be more coherent and sensible... Sometimes she replies in the morning, sometimes the next night... I never really know if/when I can expect a reply.
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#7
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I think emailing outside of work hours is just fine because it is the T who sets the boundaries on when he checks his email. The T can choose to never check emails until he arrives at work each morning. The boundaries on the timing of checking are up to him.
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"Therapists are experts at developing therapeutic relationships." |
![]() Miswimmy1
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#8
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Agree with the others - emailing T can be done at any time. They choose when to check it. If your T is one that has email sent to their phone...well, they can set the alerts to not notify them during certain hours.
The only time I consider what time I'm sending an email is if I know I'll be anxiously waiting a response. My T tends to check emails first thing in the morning and again at the end of the work day. So, the closer I send to those times, the more quickly I'll get a response. I also know that my T does not have her email pushed to her phone (I asked), so I don't worry about that.
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---Rhi |
#9
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Often in the past I emailed my T at midnight or later! I know she doesn't stay up late like I do, and that she usually reads my emails in the morning. I don't think it matters at all since an email can be read at one's convenience.
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#10
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Hi,
I once emailed my T at 2am. My next session T wanted to know if I was having trouble sleeping. ![]() ![]() |
#11
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I tend to send emails at 3am- 4am if I need to.
I know the times she checks them, so I can work with it. |
#12
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My therapist is a night owl like me, and I've gotten replies as late as nearly 3 AM, so I really don't think twice about the time I email him. I figure it's his responsibility to turn off notifications or not check mail if he doesn't want to. I agree with the others who have said it's not a boundary violation to email late; I don't see it as the same as calling or texting.
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#13
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I don't think it's a boundary crossing either, but I found what just some girl said interesting. I often email in the wee hours of the night, or early morning, when I feel less guarded and/or needy, I guess. I don't feel as much of an urge to write during the day.
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#14
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Quote:
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![]() Anonymous32516
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#15
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I don't usually email my T late (after 10pm), but based on the time I email, I kind of know when to expect a response. I did email once on a Saturday evening and was not expecting a reply until mid-Monday morning, but I got one a couple of hours later. I personally don't expect people, T, others at work, etc., to reply to a work email during their vacation, on the weekends, etc., but I feel that if they do read & reply, they are interrupting their time, not you interrupting it.
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