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#1
Oct 11, 2012, 09:58 PM
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My t is back from vacation. We have had two good sessions. Things are going ok. But why am I so afraid? I feel like things have been going well. And now I feel like how I feel when I'm in a rupture. Only that doesn't make sense... I'm not in a rupture. I don't know what I'm afraid of even. I just have this nervous energy inside. I wanna go hide. But hide from what? My thoughts are churning. I don't even know why I'm posting. I guess I'm curious if anyone can relate? And if so, what did u do to calm down?
__________________
Life isn't about waiting for the storm to pass. It's about learning to dance in the rain.  
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 adel34, anonymous112713, Anonymous32765, murray, rainbow8, ~EnlightenMe~
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#2
Oct 11, 2012, 10:57 PM
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You could be afraid of being to close to your T and have that not last. You could be afraid of the intensity of the T-relationship. You could be afraid of issues you're gettting to. You could be afraid of a lot of things. Do you have ANY idea what makes you so afraid right now?
I get nervous with my T all of the time until we get "into" the session. There are a lot of reasons why. I'm afraid of her "seeing me" sometimes. Therapy is so intense. It's hard and complicated. 
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| Miswimmy1
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 BonnieJean, Miswimmy1, Sannah
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#3
Oct 11, 2012, 11:06 PM
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I'm going to be alone all day tomorrow... And I'm having flashbacks of when I was in crisis before I met t. I feel like I'm not stable enough to be alone that long... The thought of that sets me into a wave of anxiousness
__________________
Life isn't about waiting for the storm to pass. It's about learning to dance in the rain.
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| Emotionally Dead, rainbow8, Sannah
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#4
Oct 11, 2012, 11:10 PM
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Quote:
I think this is all anxiety kicking in. I know how you feel, mine has been horrible all day. I think it is taking over today and causing you to worry about everything. Listen, I am sire when you go see your T it will all get better . Just tell your T what is going on. I know it's hard, but it is going to be okay, I promise . You aren't alone.
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| Miswimmy1
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| Miswimmy1
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#5
Oct 11, 2012, 11:14 PM
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Quote:
__________________
Life isn't about waiting for the storm to pass. It's about learning to dance in the rain.
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| ~EnlightenMe~
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#6
Oct 11, 2012, 11:20 PM
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I'd forgotten or didn't know you are so young! 10th grade. Wow! I'm sorry you're afraid of being alone. Has your T done breathing or meditation with you? Or try distracting yourself with a good novel or video or something you like to do? Or keep posting here!
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| Miswimmy1
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| Miswimmy1
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#7
Oct 11, 2012, 11:26 PM
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T has done breathing with me. But I use that more for panic attacks and anxiety. This is just straight fear. I'm not hyperventilating. Yet. I emailed t, but she hasn't answered. So I have the fear that she isnt going to answer along with the fear I hav already about being alone. I wanna go to bed. And be under the blankets. I wish I could hear t's voice.
__________________
Life isn't about waiting for the storm to pass. It's about learning to dance in the rain.
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| BonnieJean, rainbow8, ~EnlightenMe~
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#8
Oct 12, 2012, 03:50 AM
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Miswhimmy, (hugs) sorry you are feeling so scared and anxious! Maybe you can distract yourself., by going out with friends tonight, a movie or something until you see t tomorrow! Once there is a break in our therapy all these feelings and insecurities arise and mostly they are not pleasant! I hope your t will email you back so you have some peace.
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| Miswimmy1
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| Miswimmy1
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#9
Oct 12, 2012, 09:15 AM
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Hi Swimmy, hope you are doing okay today.
__________________
Don't let your problems or the world make you feel small. Stretch your arms out over your head. Take a deep breathe. Tell yourself that you are big. You are big, not small. You always have space, you are not trapped........ I'm an ISFJ |
| Miswimmy1
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| Miswimmy1
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#10
Oct 12, 2012, 01:33 PM
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Hey. Sending. :
 : and love your way! Stay strong. You're making it through the day. It's already almost over, compared to when you started at least.Take care!! Kelly |
| Miswimmy1
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| Miswimmy1
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#11
Oct 12, 2012, 06:27 PM
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Hi Miswimmy, how are things now? How was your day?
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| Miswimmy1
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| Miswimmy1
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#12
Oct 12, 2012, 06:43 PM
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Quote:
Maybe you are like me, in that I can deal with breaks fine, but returning to therapy can be hard. We've explored that and looked at several issues - that I might bury my feelings about her going to be away and then the fears surface when it feels safe for them to - when she returns. And/or that I have a fear when restarting therapy that something has changed and therapy and T will be different upon her return. And/or that I am afraid that if I survive, and even or especially, if I thrive during her vacation, then she might deem me no longer needing therapy, so I am in fear of losing the relationship. Or, that to deal with her being gone, I have to push her away and then when she returns I want to let her back in, and that's just hard. And then there is that the intimacy of the relationship is something unique to my life, so returning to that is intimidating. There are many things to look at. It always gets better. Hang in there! |
| Miswimmy1
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| Miswimmy1
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#13
Oct 12, 2012, 07:26 PM
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Quote:
Did a parent ever punish you for being happy?
__________________
Mr Ambassador, alias Ancient Plax, alias Captain Therapy, alias Big Poppa, alias Secret Spy, etc. Add that to your tattoo, Baby! |
| Miswimmy1
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| Miswimmy1
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#14
Oct 12, 2012, 08:04 PM
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Miswimmy, hope you are doing OK. Let us know.
__________________
Once in a while you get shown the light, in the strangest of places if you look at it right. R. Hunter |
| Miswimmy1
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| Miswimmy1
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#15
Oct 12, 2012, 08:31 PM
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Quote:
__________________
Life isn't about waiting for the storm to pass. It's about learning to dance in the rain.
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| Ike McCaslin, ~EnlightenMe~
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| Bill3, Sannah
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#16
Oct 12, 2012, 08:33 PM
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Quote:
__________________
Life isn't about waiting for the storm to pass. It's about learning to dance in the rain.
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| CantExplain
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#17
Oct 12, 2012, 08:44 PM
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Good job Miswimmy!
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| Miswimmy1
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| Miswimmy1
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#18
Oct 12, 2012, 08:56 PM
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I think sometimes it is difficult to really believe that things are going well and there's nothing to worry about. I think of it as being hypervigilant, it's like you have to make sure to stay alert just in case so if she starts to pull away, then you can do something to correct the situation. It is irrational as I think abandonment fears come from the emotional part only, and it can't be thought into changing, if that makes sense.
You are still learning to trust, so what you are experiencing now is a part of that. It will get better in time, and when you do trust your T, you will know it. It is a very grounding feeling. Thinking about you. Let us know how you are doing. 
__________________
"I became insane, with long intervals of horrible sanity." Edgar Allan Poe |
| Miswimmy1
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| Miswimmy1
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