[dismantle.repair]

So I've more or less stopped going to therapy.
Now here's the problem: I've stopped my medication (I know how to wean myself off of them without going ballistic.)
I'm usually ok, but there are nights like tonight that I just get depressed.
And when I'm like this... I'm bad.

The rumination, the lack of energy, the overeating... It's horrible. I'm afraid to email my (ex)T. I just want this all to disappear- I want to forget this ever happened. Go back to the part of my life that made sense.
...

Dismantle, I hope you have someone there with you for support? Can I ask why you left therapy?

dude , once you start therapy , you cannot unring that bell. as for meds, not wise to stop,without dr's input....

[Victoria'smom]

Can I ask what happened that you needed to stop both therapy and med around the same time? If you terminated well with your ex- T then yes reach out to exT.

[ECHOES]

It makes perfect sense that you would want to contact your T at this time. You tried something, it didn't work out, and you want to try something else. T can help and knows you already.

Do you want to say why you are afraid to contact your T?

Stoppping both therapy and meds, apparently without supervision, is generally a bad idea. Why are you do this? What's going on?

[dismantle.repair]

Uhm, we terminated therapy under reasonable circumstances. I don't know if there would ever be ideal circumstances to terminate a relationship (I've never been good with that). She just thought that therapy wasn't helping, and though I protested initially, as we went along, I realised that we had nothing to talk about. I don't want to reach out and have this happen again. I also am finally getting used to it, I just don't want to get close again and have to go through this again.

I stopped my medication because I started drinking again. I can't do both. Also because I just dno't want to do it anymore. The associated weight gain for someone like me (with the self esteem of.... well... soemone with no self esteem) is really not something I could handle. And on most days, I've seen no difference. I'm just worried about what'll happen when I start back working. So I don't want to talk to anyone about it until I can objectively judge for myself the difference. I learnt how to do that too, I think.