[BTinCT]

Question: when does pushing by a therapist become too much? My therapist is pushing me to begin volunteering. When I think of doing this my chest tightens and I can't breathe. She says I need to push through the fear, my pdoc says the same. I am reverting to OCD behavior, sleep issues and dreams (all signs of major stress issues.) There have been other issues with this therapist all centered around the constant pushing to move to the next level of my process ... am I just being difficult or is there something more there? Realize this is just a bunch of random thoughts instead of a specific question ...

[Rapunzel]

Well, yeah, that's part of what they do - try to get us moving towards change. If they see someplace where we are stuck they'll do everything to make sure we're too uncomfortable to sit there and get more stuck. And it is scary and stressful, and they know that (IMO, most of the best therapists have been through it themselves), but we have to face that fear and work through it because if we don't, we'll keep on being stuck and nothing changes.

I'm familiar with that pushing you're talking about. I'm there too, and sometimes I fight and have a really bad attitude and just keep resisting, but I'm trying to trust my therapist and move forward into unfamiliar territory. It's what you have to do if you're going to get better. There is a such thing as pushing too fast, so talk about it if you think it's going too fast for you, but be willing to take a step forward.

Rap

My T is very sensative to that. She says that if she pushes and over rides my wishes and desires, then its keeping me in the same pattern of the past where my desires don't matter and I let authority figures control me and abuse me. I think there is a fine line. Sometimes she will bring something up several times. After several times of me saying no, she will back off and verbally say.. It feels to me like this is something you aren't wanting to do yet, instead of pushing it, lets work on just chatting about the reasons why and what your underlying feelings about it are. I feel so much more self confident when it happens b/c I realize she respects my wishes. Not sure if this relates to you at all, but hope it helps.

ev

[gardenergirl]

While I do think that pushing through fear can be helpful, your T should also help you gain the tools needed to cope with that. It's one thing to say you need to face it, but it's another to help you face it.

Good luck.

gg

[BTinCT]

Thank you all for your responses. At this point I am not sure what the answer is for me. I know that all movement requires learning and with that comes fear. I simply am unsure at this point if I can make a commitment to volunteering, which is where are the pushing comes from.

This therapist promised me once before that I could set the pace of my process. That she would stop pushing and take the ques from me. I find it so disheartening to realize that she has forgotten her own promise.

Tomorrow is therapy and I'm not sure what I'm going to do. I feel that I have to prepare a suit of armor or at the very least a shield ...