Just got home from my last in-person session with t. When I first walked in her office and saw the boxes stacked up I gave her a big pout LOL. We talked completely all over the place, stuff from when I first started seeing her and recent stuff and stuff in between. We talked about different sand trays I've done. I read her some of my recent poems, we talked about shamanic journeying and soul retrieval, and active imagination, and dreams, just a real laid-back no-agenda type session. I said how much I'm going to miss her and she said she'll miss me too, and that's it been such an honor for her to walk beside me in this journey thus far. The session went by WAY too fast. As usual. We scheduled our first phone session for the end of the month. We finished by talking about the feelings of grieving in a way of the loss of this part of our relationship. We shared a few tears and a big hug and I told her to "be safe!" and we said goodbye and I left.

As sad as I felt for awhile when we were talking about this whole thing though.... I'm really okay with it all. Is it wrong to say that I feel this HUGE sense of freedom right now? That seems somehow wrong, knowing that I am going to miss her, doesn't it?

Maybe it doesn't at that. Maybe I really AM ready to make the break with T and end my therapy, like I was talking about before she said she was moving. I love her, I am so grateful and thankful to her for helping me get to this point. And I love ME, too. Perhaps that's the most important thing out of all of this.

[Chopin99]

You are doing so very well!! I've always imagined that the way I'll feel when I reach the end of therapy is much like what you've described. It sounds like you are at a really good place in your life.

I'm glad your last session was good; I know it's bittersweet. You'll miss her, but I think you're really going places!! Thanks for posting, Artemis. I like positive posts like yours.

[roads]

Sounds like you and your T had a great relationship. Being able to say, "I love ME" is a tribute to the work you've done together.

You'll know in the weeks ahead what's next for you. Clearly you're up to handling it, and that is awesome!

Roadie

[adel34]

Hi Artimous,
Sounds like such a good session! Kind of reminds me of my last session with VMT therapist! We talked about everything under the sun to do with us and our relationship, and voice and singing!
You might find it reasuring to still have that connection by phone, as I have. But I left still clearly needing a therapist, and you seem very ready to finish for now. You could try life without t and just see how it goes.
VMT was off and on trying to have me say "I love me," even if I didn't believe it. For you to have come to really believing this means you've done excellent work!

thanks chopin, rodie, adel! I have worked very hard this past 12 months that's for sure! T has just been so incredibly helpful in more ways than she even knows. I don't think I'd have gotten the same results with a different T. The funny thing is how I found her. I was researching a list of names my pdoc had given me, and ran across her profile by some fortunate accident or something and it intrigued me so I called HER up instead of any of the names on pdoc's list. I told her tonite, very early on in our work together some of the things she said I thought were a little kooky but I made a conscious decision then to be open-minded and listen and that's what I did and because of that I have come such a long way. She admitted that she isn't a 'traditional' therapist, I was like that's true and thank goodness for that!

[feralkittymom]

Aetemis, how wonderful. I really believe you will continue to have a relationship with her, and she with you. Not as a client/therapist, and not out of need. The contact will ebb and flow over time, but it will be the richer for that because your attachment will be strong, but not based upon need. It will free you both to engage in a very wonderful way.

It's where I feel I am with my former T, and I cherish the relationship everyday. You will, too. I'm so happy for you.

[Asiablue]

I love to hear of T-client relationships coming to a positive natural ending where the client is ready to fly without the support of their T. Thank you for sharing!

[~EnlightenMe~]

Originally Posted by feralkittymom

Aetemis, how wonderful. I really believe you will continue to have a relationship with her, and she with you. Not as a client/therapist, and not out of need. The contact will ebb and flow over time, but it will be the richer for that because your attachment will be strong, but not based upon need. It will free you both to engage in a very wonderful way.

It's where I feel I am with my former T, and I cherish the relationship everyday. You will, too. I'm so happy for you.

I thought it was not allowed for a client/therapist to have a relationship after therapy? Just wondering.

Originally Posted by Antimatter

I thought it was not allowed for a client/therapist to have a relationship after therapy? Just wondering.

Correct me if I am wrong but it is allowed after a certain amount of time has passed after termination.

[feralkittymom]

What's not allowed are relationships that boundary cross in inappropriate ways. Some Ts have blanket policies--even making clients sign contracts! My T was always extremely secure about boundary issues (he wrote the ethics code for my state!), and he was retiring. Believe me, there's never been anything even approaching improper between us and never would be. He's never initiated contact with me, but has always responded to my contact. Even now, when he has such challenges in his life, he is very circumspect about his emotions.

The other issue is judgment. I'm recovered. I no longer have the needs I once had, so our relationship is very normalized.

[~EnlightenMe~]

Originally Posted by feralkittymom

What's not allowed are relationships that boundary cross in inappropriate ways. Some Ts have blanket policies--even making clients sign contracts! My T was always extremely secure about boundary issues (he wrote the ethics code for my state!), and he was retiring. Believe me, there's never been anything even approaching improper between us and never would be. He's never initiated contact with me, but has always responded to my contact. Even now, when he has such challenges in his life, he is very circumspect about his emotions.

The other issue is judgment. I'm recovered. I no longer have the needs I once had, so our relationship is very normalized.

Thanks for explaining, I didn't think any were allowed. I did understand that it wasn't improper and that it seemed like a positive relationship in both of your lives. I'm not well enough to have this kind of relationship with my xT now, and I don't think he would be interested if I get better later in a contact every now and then. But I wish he would. thanks.