[franki_j]

Hello all, I know I haven't been on here in awhile. I also realize that button is kind of posting about the same thing, so I don't want to steal your thunder/hijack your thread .

Anyways, my T and I have gotten over the whole emailing too much debacle. However, now we have another problem. T has been suggesting I see a p-doc for some time now, but I have always refused for the same reasons as button: scared of side-effects, don't want to mess up my brain, don't want to be a zombie, etc. I also don't want to get into the habit of taking a pill every time life gets hard.

SO I do not think my problem is so much being depressed; I am not the happiest person in the world or anything, but I wouldn't say I am chronically depressed. However, I am very very anxious. So for example, I have just started a new job, where I am in charge of this project, and I keep feeling like everyone at work hates me, I am doing an awful job, I am in competition with my co-worker, who is so much smarter than me, etc. It got so bad that on Monday I bought a flask of gin at work, went to the bathroom and drank it to get rid of my horrible anxiety and feelings of stupidity. I was quite drunk the rest of the day, but thankfully no one noticed. When I told my T this she freaked out and insisted I see a p-doc. I finally relented and told her after Thanksgiving I would give her a list of p-docs who take my insurance to see if she knows any of them so I can make an appt. I told her the only reason I am doing this is so she can quit bugging me and we can stop spending whole sessions arguing over this.

But, I still really don't want to do this. A big part of hte reason is also insurance. I financially can't afford to pay more than 20 for p-doc and prescriptions, and I am worried about my insurance company paying for p-doc, prescriptions, and therapy, especially because I recently found out they don't want to reimburse September's bill because they say there is no diagnostic code on the bill, which isn't true. I just feel like the less I have to deal with the ins. companies the better, and with getting a p-doc and paying for prescriptions, I feel like I will be dealing with them more and possibly having to argue with them over paying for T. I also really, really do not want any side effects like weight gain, sleepiness, etc.

The other thing is, is that my T doesn't seem to understand my concerns over money. She acts like my insurance company will definetely pay for it, even though she is not the one dealing with them, I am. I mean, she doesn't even accept insurance for sessions, so how would she know? Also, I am on my parent's plan, and I am sure they will see that I am seeing a p-doc, and I do not want to explain that to them. To me, it is just another headache/problem that my T wants to add onto my plate, but I have feeling she will not stop talking about this until I see someone.

Anyone have some advice?

[Eliza Jane]

I have never heard of even lousy insurance being unwilling to pay for T and pdoc. They are considered different things. (Copays are a different issue and I understand that they add up).

I'd give it a shot. I'm biased though because meds really saved my life (although there were unfortunately a lot of failed meds until I found the right thing). I also tend to think most T's don't jump right to "meds are the answer." If they thought meds were the answer to everything, they would have been pdoc's! If your T is strongly suggests meds, it is worth looking into.

Good luck,
EJ

Frank what country are you in? In the US a regular family physician can prescribe a pill for these types of things. Some are available in generic for as little as 5 dollars for 90 days. My first T said I have dysthimia , but to me its really anxiety and I have found meds to be very helpful. they dont have to be forever. Therapy and meds can work in conjunction and if you are slamming gin at work, I dont see where taking a pill would be an issue. Being drunk at work, for me, would be automatic termination. Good luck friend.

[BlessedRhiannon]

Originally Posted by franki_j

Anyways, my T and I have gotten over the whole emailing too much debacle. However, now we have another problem. T has been suggesting I see a p-doc for some time now, but I have always refused for the same reasons as button: scared of side-effects, don't want to mess up my brain, don't want to be a zombie, etc. I also don't want to get into the habit of taking a pill every time life gets hard.

SO I do not think my problem is so much being depressed; I am not the happiest person in the world or anything, but I wouldn't say I am chronically depressed. However, I am very very anxious.

I don't really have any advice about the insurance stuff...neither my T nor my P-doc take insurance, so I pay totally out of pocket. Fortunately, insurance does cover prescriptions.

What I quoted above, though, totally describes me. I DID try an anti-depressant, prescribed to me by my GP, about 8 years ago, in an attempt to deal with daily panic attacks. I did end up feeling very "off" and quit taking them. So, when I started seeing my current T, I was very firm about no meds. Now, 3 years later, she's finally convinced me to see a p-doc. Two things finally convinced me - 1) T reminded me that a p-doc is not a GP. They specialize in mental illness and should work with patients to find the correct dose to alleviate symptoms without making you feel like a zombie. They know about the wide variety of drugs and what options might be best for each person. 2) T convinced me (finally) that my anxiety really is that severe and that I really could get relief and that I deserved to feel that relief.

I finally went and saw the p-doc my T recommended about 2 months ago. We talked, I explained my concerns, how sensitive I am to meds, the reaction I'd had to the anti-depressant, and how I don't want to go through that again. He understood, and said that while anti-depressants can work for anxiety, there are other options. He felt that a very, very low dose of a benzo might be better for me. It took trying 3 different drugs, and a little playing with the dosage, but oh my gosh!!!! The difference is amazing. I'm now on a super small dose of Xanax 3 times a day, and I actually feel relaxed for the first time in as long as I can remember. My thoughts aren't constantly racing, I'm not constantly on edge, and I don't feel like my body is always poised for action. The meds allow me to actually stop and think and work through anxiety rather than constantly feeling like I have to react.

So - it wouldn't hurt to just talk to a p-doc...going to one does NOT mean you have to take the meds if they prescribe them. But, it might be worth exploring, and you might be surprised (I know I was).

[pbutton]

I am in a very similar situation. Anxiety, not really depression, worried about side effects. My first pdoc appt is Dec 12. I figure I may as well go talk to him. T thinks it will help.

[Eliza Jane]

Many antidepressants have also been approved (and/or are useful) for anxiety (off the top of my head, Lexapro and Cymbalta). I also really find that when my mood is under control, my anxiety is way better.

Good luck,
EJ

[franki_j]

Sorry I wasn't able to respond sooner, have been very busy, but thanks for the responses. I emailed my T and told her I would bring her a list of p-docs in my area that accept my insurance and see if she knows any of them and we would go from there. I told her if I did this, then she should stop bugging me about meds/my drinking, and that I wanted to talk about something else in session, besides her two favorite topics.

I highly doubt she will know any of the p-docs that accept insurance, since all of the ones she knows are fancy/expensive and don't accept insurance. This is too bad, as I would prefer to at least go to someone she knows and can talk to. I suppose it can't hurt any to at least bring her that list and see what happens. At the very least she will get off my back about this for the time being.