T embarrassed me!

Would you be happier if rainbow wrote: You made me miserable I'm not going to eat for a week? What's wrong with having a lunch?

Obviously nothing. Lunch is fine. I eat lunch myself. But I question the relevance of informing us with a in a thread.

I'm not blaming anyone but myself for being online all morning and not eating. Please give me a break or are you trying to show me by example how annoying I am? If the latter, I can see it.

I'm not blaming anyone but myself for being online all morning and not eating. Please give me a break or are you trying to show me by example how annoying I am? If the latter, I can see it.

Would you be happier if rainbow wrote: You made me miserable I'm not going to eat for a week? What's wrong with having a lunch?

WHAT? I was on your side (i.e. supportive- posting on PC shouldn't keep you from your breakfast)-is my English so bad?
So sorry if I was not clear on that. I knew I shouldn't post much on here...

No, your English isn't bad! I was confused by lonely's post. Please post; I was just mixed up. Thank you for supporting me.

No, your English isn't bad! I was confused by lonely's post. Please post; I was just mixed up. Thank you for supporting me.

Things I have seen people do to get their threads read:

1. Write a "bump" post, along the lines of, "Bumping this thread, really stuck and hoping for more responses!"
2. Write on the couch that they're hoping for more responses to their thread, so could people take a look if they have a chance?
3. Write a PM (of course, to me, since I only read PMs to me, but this could work between any set of PC "buddies") asking someone who they know might have something to say about their particular topic to give a quick response if they can.

Do you honestly think that asking directly and politely for feedback is MORE selfish than saying, "I hate PC"? Attempting to hurt an entire group of people -- indiscriminately, at that, so including people who have tried really hard to support you -- using hurtful language in order to get what you want is one of the most selfish things a person can do. That's why I didn't respond to it immediately. I'm not going to reward that kind of behavior. You don't get to hurt me in order to get your way.
I was hurt. I didn't know how to express it. I didn't think about being selfish or not. The hurt seemed to be stronger than my ability to control it. I have to realize this forum is NOT therapy. Maybe that's my mistake. I have to step away from here when I'm angry, hurt and triggered, and try some other methods of self-soothing, distraction, etc. next time after my session. Lower my expectations. That would be the best thing to do. Why I didn't respond the first time:

1. I didn't have a set of complete thoughts to articulate.
2. Can't I see you're hurting? Yes, I can. I can see that EVERYONE ON THIS FORUM is hurting. *I* am hurting. Your pain is no more or less important than anyone else's, so we can all either respond to every single thread, or we can restrict our responses to those for which was have something thoughtful to add. The latter seems more feasible to me.
3. I've had a really really busy work week.
4. My therapy situation currently has me in a state of grief that makes me generally slow to post.
I understand yours and other people's reasons. I was not acting rationally.
That you might POLITELY request more feedback would not make you selfish. That you act as if not getting immediate non-critical feedback means that everyone here is terrible for not acknowledging YOUR pain RIGHT NOW when we all have our own lives, struggles, opinions, and yes, our own pain, is really selfish.
Rational mind and emotional mind are in opposition. I know these things yet the hurt/want sometimes explodes. I don't want to be selfish.
I am not trying to hurt you. I recognize that none of these things are fun to hear. But if you really want answers, here they are.

Hi Rainbow,
I really think that t and DBT leader should know about this and see about a middle ground.
I also had the thought that often people say that PC is like group therapy. I know you were in group t before, the gestalt one. If you don't mind my asking, did any of these issues around how you related to the other members come up back then? Just curious.
This might not work, but I was thinking that maybe at some point you could get a lot of an interpersonal therapy group, like the kind MU goes to. There you could get the feedback in a face to face way, and it's all contained by a therapist, or two, if there are coleaders. I just thought that maybe this could be another way to work on your connections with others, and it would be less intimate than just the relationship between you and t. Because there are others in the group, you would be working on sharing time and attention from the therapists with other members, and working on how you can ask for your needs in a healthier way. Just a thought.