To block or not to block

So what is our obligation here in this forum? If someone bothers us for one reason or another, are we obligated to block that person?

If, for our own reasons, we choose to read their threads, is that wrong? Maybe we're reading to attempt to understand a point of view that seems fundamentally wrong and bordering on evil, to see the human side of our abusers. Maybe we keep looking for any understanding on their part of how their behavior is destructive. Maybe we keep looking because the other people's responses help us to see we are not all alone. Whatever our reasons, aren't we entitled to keep reading if we want, as long as we are not rude to the other person?

This is a forum. I don't particularly see it as a place where I have any obligations other than to be civil. My one obligation is to take care of myself in whatever way I deem best. I don't have anyone on my ignore list, but I don't tend to be triggered by posts. Some people I don't bother to read because I find their perspectives off the wall and delusional; no need to try to reason with someone who is entirely delusional or psychotic. Just do what you need to do for yourself.

I think one may read anything one wants as long as one is willing to take responsibility for how that information affects them. I am very anti-censorship.
Are you including responding to posts as well in the question? (I ask because of the "as long as we are not rude to the other person" and I am not sure how one could be rude to another by simply reading).
I, for example, tend to skip over those I find condescending know it alls or those who insist on telling others what to do. I enjoy seeing other viewpoints when they don't descend into "I am right and you are wrong" sorts of posts.

RIGHT! I am hitting thanks or hugs, and pretty much holding it there. I think that there should be no grief given for that. I think that no one has the right to be ticky with others just reading and not replying.

You also have the option of the "report post" button ... I reserve that only for the most highly offensive posts ... The forum monitors can decide which ones simply need a "trigger" icon added, or if the post is offensive enough it merits total deletion ...

Other than that, once I find the content of a particular poster to push my buttons or trigger me, I simply avoid reading their stuff ...

I don't think you are "obligated" to block them, to read, to respond, to not read, to not respond, etc. I think it just depends on you and what you can deal with and what is harder to deal with. I think really just take it day by day and post by post. If you are having a particularly hard week or feeling more emotional than what you normal do, then maybe you set a boundary for yourself "Well today I am going to stay away from So and So's thread" If you are struggling with blocking but then going to read it anyway in hopes to find something good...then just monitor your reactions to their actions. Like Chris said-its about taking care of you. I am very easily triggered so I don't tend to read a lot. Or respond a lot. I'm also shy. But that is something I am doing to take care of me, not because I don't want to be a source of support. At the end of the day, the decision is yours but just make sure MKAC is getting what MKAC needs in order to take care.

I also agree that people who posts need to have an open mind and realize that they may not get any responses or 100 responses or just a bunch of hugs or just a bunch of thanks. I do not think anyone should be told what they should be giving. This is a forum and when you make a post, you are kind of throwing it all up and putting yourself out there for what may come and what may not come. Its important to realize that. Just my two cents.

In other words you can't let it define you.

Are you talking about yourself? if not, why are you posting? If so, what does that mean? Point is moot for me, I can't block. But I don't answer everybody either. That HAS been a change; I used to feel obligated, I don't anymore. I used to think "everyone" would die without my help; I also used to truly believe everyone was being totally honest in their posting. Now if I smell a rat, I ask, or I simply don't respond. If a thread seems repetitive to me, I don't respond - I don't need to get sucked in; I didn't sign anything when I joined that promised I would respond to what I perceive as people's mind games - same as if I were in group therapy or DBT. So I would say, if this is an issue for you, you might have a problem with being overly responsible, as that was my dx - thinking you can make things right that are out of your control. If you work on that, or if you work on not responding, you might kill two birds with one stone.

There is no obligation. Yes, it is fine to read all you want.
Blocking is a choice, and can be used for any reason at all.

MKAC i dont see what you respond as rude at all maybe very up front but not rude at all. and why not thank someone who has posted something you feel you relate to or says something you would have said ..it is ok

I find that I respond to certain types of posts and not others. Often I recount my perspective because it seems like there is being presented only one perspective and often mine is different, so I like to show there can be different ways of doing or thinking about it. Not that mine is right, just that mine is not wrong. I try to only give advice if I feel I understand or sort of have a relationship with the person. I try to stay away from advice or posting much on those threads or with those persons who I simply do not understand their perspective or what they want. I hope they get what they want, but I don't feel I can give it nor do I know what it is. I do not understand why some people seem to want to tell others how wrong they are. To me, that is when just not reading or responding would be the better part of valour. I don't find it is usually useful for me to criticize how others are. I may disagree, but who am I to criticize them or decide what they need.

I don't think every feeling needs to be validated and every point-of-view appreciated. Just because a person has a right to express something doesn't mean that others are obligated to praise them for it or even read it. And sometimes people need to hear criticism, however harsh. Harshness is just of those things you have to be prepared for if you create a thread.

But the audience has to take responsibility, too. If you know a poster is always going to push your buttons, it doesn't make sense to put yourself in their presence...unless you really want to be provoked. Sometimes people think they can convince someone they are wrong by browbeating them long enough, but I don't think this really ever works. Not for people who are really clueless. So working yourself up in a frenzy ends up not doing very much in the end. As long as a person is aware that they are allowing themselves to be provoked for naught, then no, they shouldn't censor themselves by using the "ignore" function. Sometimes going toe-to-toe with an internet troll is fun.

Hi MKAC,
I agree with your last statement. I think that as long as we're not rude to anyone, we can read whatever we want. And that maybe continuing to see how the situation unfolds and if the person changes, how others react ETC, might be helpful in some way.

The idea of ignoring a member is completely personal and it really doesn't matter what others think if you do or do not ignore another member.

Each member here, when your account was created, agreed to the Community Guidelines of this site. Found here - http://forums.psychcentral.com/showthread.php?t=3643

Each member is bound by those guidelines. Psych Central was created to give individuals a safe place to land and discuss their mental health issues. No one here is obligated to anyone else except within the guidelines. In other words, if what you have to say to another member is not supportive and not respectful, then it's probably against guidelines.

At this time I will be closing this thread as threads like this usually turn out being unsupportive (as this one has). Discussing other members publicly is against guidelines whether specifically or generally.

With Care,
sabby