[Miswimmy1]

Thanksgiving is a time to get over things that may be bothering us and be thankful for the good things in our lives. If there is anything you feel bad about in t and want to get off your chest before the holiday, feel free to add it. Or if there is something u are specifically grateful for, that works too. I'll start.

T, I'm sry for making u cry today. I didn't mean to. It makes me feel really bad.
I am so thankful that you stick with me even tho things get tough.

[CantExplain]

Everything I did with T and to T was a step on the path to where I am now. So I guess I have no regrets.

[WikidPissah]

I regret sending a really pissed off final email to XT. I hate that I acted out in anger, that is so unlike me.

[Anne2.0]

Only because T has brought it up two weeks in a row, I think I regret (last year) calling him 5 days in a row on his staycation and then asking him to come to work to see me, at my regular weekly time.

[~EnlightenMe~]

I am regretful because I was emotionally unstable and I said hurtful things to T out of frustration that I wish I hadn't said. I wish I had controlled myself, but I didn't. I have no one else to blame but myself. I asked my Pdoc if she thought he would see me one time to resolve things. She said that isn't the way you left it, is it? I have to accept this, and I do I will and do miss him, but I will be okay without him
I

I honestly have no regrets about anything to do with my therapy or therapist. I'm simply very thankful for his honesty and sticktuitiveness with me over the years. We work well together and have a mutual respect for each other and partnership in working through whatever needs to be addressed so I can continue to move forward.

[rainbow8]

I regret the times I crossed boundaries by looking up information about my T and her family, and for driving by her house once. I am grateful for her always showing compassion to me and understanding why I did those things. I am grateful that I found her and that she's my T.

I talked to my therapist about this question today. And, I said I had no regrets. Then I said maybe one early in therapy. It was an email that I explained that I was trying to see what would get her to abandon me as a client.

Dear FM.,

"Blank you! Sorry. Will that do it?"

It didn't.

She said I don't need to be regretful over that. Who curses some one, and then apologizes. It made me laugh.

No regrets. I am so very, very thankful and grateful to her.

[sunrise]

No regrets. Very thankful for his presence in my life.

[alone in the world]

my biggest refret is being so needy that I took up most of her time in the begining. Am thankful that she is still with me and has helped me through the neediness and rough moments.

[taylor43]

My biggist thing was i was not honest at the start of my therapy in Jan of this year til this fall,Now things are much better that im honest and im getting better!

[stopdog]

I regret spending money and time on a terrible therapist 15 years ago.

[Victoria'smom]

I regret the 100 pg. of type notes I've wrote and gave T between sessions this year. Will not be doing that again.

My one regret is I didn't meet her sooner in my life...I'm good.

[~EnlightenMe~]

I regret that my dependency caused him to terminate me I regret that I miss him, but i do. I regret that he doesn't want to talk to me. I regret that I couldn't be someone who was worthy of him not leaving.

I regret that my new T has no idea what he got himself into

I regret being me

...and it's not about you...it's about him.

[mixedup_emotions]

Originally Posted by Goingtogetthere

...and it's not about you...it's about him.

...I worry that a comment like this could encourage people to blame others instead of taking ownership of what's theirs. Certainly, there are some instances when it truly is about the other person - but I find that there's almost always something to be gained by awareness of ourselves.

Originally Posted by mixedup_emotions

...I worry that a comment like this could encourage people to blame others instead of taking ownership of what's theirs. Certainly, there are some instances when it truly is about the other person - but I find that there's almost always something to be gained by awareness of ourselves.

We will have to respectfully disagree. It's okay for one to worry: then deal with it. Unfortunately, too many of us took the blame through out our lives. Some of us no longer choose to do that, and some of us have to learn how to not do that. It has nothing to do with taking ownership of "what's theirs," we are responsible for how we respond, not the other person.

So, when you say you have your "BPD" radar on and you don't like how you feel, then that is your responsibility to deal with it. Boy, I'm glad I had therapy today.

How another responds or does not respond to us does not take away from us gaining self awareness. This is only my opinion.

[~EnlightenMe~]

I worry that a comment like this could encourage people to blame others instead of taking ownership of what's theirs

OH, MUE, MUE, MUE. If I decide to blame myself fully, and I have and I do, as I did in my post of self-hatred, it is my decision. If I decide to fully blame my T, and I have, it is also my decision. I failed to allow any facts to enter my post as to who is to blame or who is or isn't taking ownership, it was more of an emotional post. I go through these emotions, and I post them. I've posted similar before, I will probably do it again.

I KNOW that in relationships that both parties bear some weight of a rupture. I understand this fully, but I don't always FEEL it, and feelings are often irrational. I cannot or will not be dissuaded from how I think/feel on the basis of one post. GTGT knows more information on me, she knows that I hold alot of self-hatred, and she was trying to counter this, not to blame my xT as she doesn't know him. She knows my struggles though, and I appreciate her comment. You, MUE, have also been very helpful to me with your replies.

I hope that people who post here aren't able to be so easily 'encouraged' to change their mind. Whatever they chose to believe about their relationship is totally up to them. Who am I to say? Speaking for me, I think how I think and I feel how I feel, and I listen to what others say but in the end I decide using all of the input I've graciously been given. Just my thoughts. Peace to everyone

Yes Antimatter.

[mixedup_emotions]

I can relate to the idea of taking blame throughout my life - and that, too, is an unfair burden. Finding that middle ground is part of the journey. Which is my point - it's not all one or the other.

I had a friend once say that no one can MAKE you feel a certain way. I've always struggled with this - as it seems to let the person doing harm "be free" of ownership. Although it's true that we all own our feelings and reactions, it's also true that our behaviors affect other people. And if too many people react in a similar way, it may be telling of something about ourselves. Saying that it's about the other person makes it too easy for one to miss valuable information about themselves.

Antimatter - I am not saying in any way that you are to blame for what happened with you and xT. I feel awful about how your xT handled things. By the same token, it's still helpful to take stock in the awareness that we gain of ourselves in the process. I know you're doing that, and I would love to see you be more gentle with yourself in that painful process.

Hey Antimatter,

I sent the sight to my therapist, and here is what she said about what I wrote to you:

"Well stated. Will give some of them something to think about."


Me: It's all about putting our beliefs out there. We take what we need, and leave the rest. It's okay if it's not our cup of T.

I am only having her look at what I write, because I have had a phobia about writing for decades now. Besides, I rarely email her anymore. This is more fun.

Maybe others will ask what their therapist what they think, or just weigh in themselves and this subject can be revisited on another thread.

Originally Posted by Miswimmy1

Thanksgiving is a time to get over things that may be bothering us and be thankful for the good things in our lives. If there is anything you feel bad about in t and want to get off your chest before the holiday, feel free to add it. Or if there is something u are specifically grateful for, that works too. I'll start.

This was a good thread topic. It was started by the OP to be about things that we regret or things that we are thankful for. I don't understand why posters don't stick to the original content or purpose of the thread. I would post on this thread because I have both things I regret and things I am thankful for but I would never expect someone to comment on my post because was a place for me to share my feelings. Feelings are feelings they are not facts to be debated on their validity or their "correctness"... Now if I started a thread then I would expect and want people to respond to my post. This is just my opinion and my feelings.

Normally I just ignore threads once they go off topic because its too triggering for me...feels like conflict. But today I just want to say...
I just find it frustrating when people have to take a good thread off topic.

Originally Posted by Readytostop

This was a good thread topic. It was started by the OP to be about things that we regret or things that we are thankful for. I don't understand why posters don't stick to the original content or purpose of the thread. I would post on this thread because I have both things I regret and things I am thankful for but I would never expect someone to comment on my thread because was a place for me to share my feelings. Feelings are feelings they are not facts to be debated on their validity or their "correctness"... Now if I started a thread then I would expect and want people to respond to my post.

Normally I just ignore threads once they go off topic because its too triggering for me...feels like conflict. But today I just want to say...
I just find it frustrating when people have to take a good thread off topic.

Lesson heard and understood. Thank you Readytostop.

My apologies to you Miswimmey1 for commenting on post. I was not aware of this etiquette rule, and I'm glad to know now.