[Gracey]

I have been out of therapy since around the end of March I guess. The thing is, I was ok with it when I found out he was leaving. Now however. . .I am struggling badly. It isn't so much that I miss my T so much as it is that I miss the opportunity to "download" with someone from time to time. I am debating on whether or not to go back into therapy - I have to use the center I was at before b/c my p-doc is there and if I want to use a different place, then I have to change p-doc, which I really don't want to do. He respects my choices, works with me on medication issues, and is QUITE supportive. I see him once a month, and he spends a good hour each time with me. Not your traditional psychiatrist. Here is the problem. . as of right now, they do not have a male counselor or psychologist. I don't do women. I never have been able to. . .I don't trust them. Women are touchy. No male T in his right mind would ever pat me on the leg during therapy, but women do this. at least in my experience.

Anyone else deal with anything like this? I can feel myself cycling to that place where I'm not exactly going to have an option about therapy, but I'd rather do it on my terms, you know? If you've dealt with this, how did you do it? How did you get over the fear?

[(JD)]

I hear you. I think you just have to put yourself first on this... and make the T deal with it Go ahead and see which of the women would best suit you (I know, I know..) and make sure you are on the list for when they hire a male T!!!!! In the meantime you can download like you could here, but with face to face help. Female Ts have good info and support.. you don't have to get into anything heavy, just someone to vent the daily grind to???

Otherwise, you have no choice but to change ... right? So why not give it a try, maybe they will help you more than you plan, and maybe they will come up with a male T soon?? TC

[lenjan]

I'm going through the same thing, Gracey; I wish I had some advice for you. I've been out of therapy since the end of April and thought I was doing fine, but it turns out I was delusional .

In fact, this reminds me to go make some calls and try to find someone. Good luck to you!

Candy

[pegasus]

Dear Gracey,

I think if you found it helpful to talk to a T, it would be a good idea to find another one.

A good therapist does not need to physically touch you. If you have a lady therapist maybe you could say that you would prefer them not to touch you. The therapist should respect your wishes.

It might be helpful to explain all this to your P-doc too, and he might be able to help?

Hope you find another T, there is one out there for you somewhere.

Take care.

I have been in and out of therapy so many times that I am on therapist number 19.

The patting on the leg from women therapists - I have always requested women therapists and have never had on pat me on the leg. I think it might be because when touching did bother me I said so right off the bat at the first session that I have with a new therapist. All of my therapists have always asked before touching. I am also usually comfortable with a therapist sitting next to me but there have been a few occasions where I have asked a therapist not to sit right next to me, other times I have gotten up and moved around the room when a therapist has gotten too close to me before I was ready. Theres nothing in the rules of therapy that says the client must remain seated. Sometimes I walk around looking at all the picures and knick knacks. This one office I was in was so fasinatingly colorful and lots of knick knacks that I never sat down in that room. There was just so much to look at and enjoy - butterflies and rainbows and pillows and ceramics and poetry sketches. LOL

A friend of mine who sees women therapists also has never had a problem with being touched without permission. She is on therapist number 7. She also says at the beginning of seeing a new therapist that she is not always comfortable with being touched and that she would always like the therapist to ask before touching, reaching out a hand or holding her for comfort.

Therapists welcome being told if you welcome touching or not and how to do so that makes you most comfortable. In fact here in the USA its now a part of training protocal that therapists must ask the client before touching the client because of sexual assault, or OCD and so on where touching a client can actually cause panic attacks, flashbacks and so on. Not to mention therapists are often targetted with sexual assault charges when some clients get upset at them.

So suggestion when starting therapy let the therapist know you don't want to be touched in any way. and they will most likely honor that.