Couch 26

I shall do no such thing. However, I might write on your face with eyeliner if I catch you sleeping. Although... writing someone's megacrush's name on her face was a lot more relevant in junior high. Maybe a heart with "bacon" in the middle?

For real though, don't worry about it. It's good to know you're ok

My t is great...She emails me at the perfect time, and calls me at the perfect times too..

Just spilled my heart out about my dogs and how panicky it has me... Now for me to take a nap because of the headache it caused me.

There's a pc t-shirt slogan for ya!

Haven't left my bed today except to go to my stupid t appointment and then drive home.

just watched 3 episodes of Big Bang Theory in a row, but I can't stomach anymore.

Going to see in there are any Christmas movies streaming anywhere.

Is it epilepsy?

Mild case. If he was seizing more than once a month, they would diagnose it and prescribe Phenobarbital.

Just cause I'm alive,
Don't mean I'm makin' a livin'.

This made my day.... thanks!

how was T Lola?

Hard, this is where we start to get real and I'm going to start letting my emotions out....yada yada yada.... I have homework....

I survived Black Friday at work. Hatchet man showed up and they axed 25% of the workforce. I don't see how we can stay afloat with the current staffing levels. We were already so bare we couldn't effectively accommodate vacation leave. I need to brush up the old resume. Don't know if I can stay in Pinehurst, the pickings are mightly slim. Hospitals, doctors, and golf are the only major industries. It sucks because my family really likes it here.

Lola, so did you end up laying on the couch so you didn't have to look at T?

I half laid on it but was afraid to put my shoes on his couch.... I told him next week I was gonna full on lay on it and he said, ok ....LOL

Did it work out so you weren't looking at him? did that help?

yes and yes, he was not in my direct line of sight and it helped me to relax, if I wanted to look at him, I had to turn my head.

I found it helped too... I made my xT move his chair to be on the same wall as my chair and we stared at his book shelf and talked...

it felt easier for me to not look at him and therefore imagine he wasn't looking at me.

exactly....when he is in my direct line of sight I feel a power struggle...when i cant see him, we could be talking on the phone....way better an easier to let down my guard.

That is hard work... I couldn't do this part... I ended up spinning my wheels till I was fully frustrated with myself and ended up quitting...

but you are much stronger ....

RTS...when I took a bachelor's level counseling course, that was actually taught as a strategy. People sitting side by side tend not to look at each other very much, thus more comfortable for the client (and billed as more comfortable for the T sometimes too...my professor being honest about it!).

never thought of it as a power struggle...

but I guess its a power struggle for my control...or I viewed it as that.

I liked not seeing my T because sometimes I think he would "model' the emotions he thought I should have and when I would say something he thought I should find as painful... he would say something compassionate and once he even teared up...

I wanted to punch him...

(((((Lola)))))...I'm sorry it's getting hard. This part is hard for me too right now; but my T insists this is where the healing is.

yeah...people on PC were talking about it on a thread and so I thought I would ask and he said if it would make me more comfortable it was not a problem...

its not that I am stronger, I am not any stronger then anyone on these boards. I am determined to fix me, because I cant go through the next 30 years like I went through the first. If there is a way to get better I want it, I am tired of the same song and dance, colors are dull and the game has lost its flavor. Time for a change, all i have to do is make sure I physically show up and sometimes that's all I got.

Lola, you're only 30? Spring frikkin chicken.....