okay. i've seen three therapists. the first was during college in 2008-2009, i saw her most of that year. she was an intern. the second was a professional who i only met once, last january or february. the third, i start seeing in September and as she was also an intern, she left to return home in Italy in December.

for the two that i saw extensively, it was a once-a-week thing. and since it usually takes me a really long time to let people in, they didn't get to know me very well at all. the very first one said that i probably had clinical depression at the time, but she couldn't say for sure on anything since she was just an intern.

anyway...i'm wanting to try to go to a therapist for longer than a few months this time. i know that something is wrong with me but i don't know what. i want them to find out exactly what's up with me before i decide to stop going again, or end up not being able to afford it. i give up on things easily.

so, any suggestions on what i should be thinking about as an introduction to myself? i have no idea and i don't want to ramble and waste my time. the place where i will be going only allows an hour per meeting. it's kind of BS but i can't afford anything else.

i still have probably another month before i can afford to go anywhere, so that's plenty of time to prepare maybe a journal entry or something. that's what the last professional asked me to do, write in a journal every day.

i ended up not doing that because...well, i don't know why. i guess i didn't want to. i don't know.

what are some questions i should ask myself? what are some personality traits that i should be looking at if i think that i have some kind of personality disorder? because i'm pretty sure that's what's going on with me.

i just want to be prepared. i don't want to waste my hour, you know. that's what i end up doing. wasting my time with people who could be helping if i didn't ramble.

guess i'm doing that now...sorry.

[MudCrab]

Hello, DreamAddiction. My thought is for you to call the therapist's office and ask if they have an intake form(s) new clients are expected to fill out. If so, ask if the form(s) might be sent to you. Also ask if there is anything else you might do to get ready for the first appointment. Since you have had therapy before, you should be somewhat familiar with them. Being open, honest and inclusive hel

Some samples: Forms for 1st Session

thank you, but i know about the initial forms. i plan to go get one on my husband's next day off. what i meant is, in stressful situations like meeting a new person/therapist, i often forget what i'm wanting to say, like important things, unless i've written it all down. but i don't know what all would be important enough to bring up during a first therapy session. i guess i don't want to go in and feel like i'm flailing, trying to remember everything. does that make sense?

today is one of my bad days. i'm second-guessing everything i write today. i'm even second-guessing if i even deserve therapy, maybe i'm just wanting the attention. i hate feeling this way. i don't know what's right.

[MudCrab]

The intakes should let you know what the therapist wants to know. I was asked about my family's history of mental and physical illnesses, what over the counter meds I took and a general question about any other thing I thought would be important for the therapist to know.

[feralkittymom]

It's all well and good to try to prepare, but if you plan to tell the T everything about yourself, you'll do all the talking and there won't be much of an interaction.

Maybe think about writing one 1/2 page paragraph about "what it feels like being me." It might involve your everyday difficulties, childhood experiences, family info, relationships, dreams, fears. Whatever is most at the front of your mind. Avoid diagnosing yourself; painting a picture of your experience will be more useful to your T.

Give it to the T at the session, and let the T take it from there.

[BlessedRhiannon]

what are some questions i should ask myself? what are some personality traits that i should be looking at if i think that i have some kind of personality disorder? because i'm pretty sure that's what's going on with me.

i just want to be prepared. i don't want to waste my hour, you know. that's what i end up doing. wasting my time with people who could be helping if i didn't ramble.

You know, I would probably just go in and tell your new T the above. That would start a conversation that would let her know your concerns and how you feel about therapy. It's good that you want to be prepared, and it's good that you don't want to waste time, but trying to present a specific picture of yourself to your T could actually hinder your treatment. The best bet is to just be honest and have a conversation with your T about your concerns and about how you are feeling. You can certainly prepare, if you feel you need to, but I wouldn't do more than maybe a bullet point list of things that you feel you need to bring up - feelings, behaviors, events that you find concerning or that are particularly important to you in some way.

Also - be totally honest and forthcoming on the intake forms. I found that going through those with T did generate some good conversation. You won't get to everything in your first hour. You might not get to much of anything that first hour...it's a "get to know you" and "decide if we can work together" appointment. So, don't be disappointed if you don't come out of that first appointment without a diagnosis. Heck, some T's never give a diagnosis. Mine has only ever given me a single diagnosis, and that's one I was fully aware of already, and we only formalized it after I took a psychological assessment and she referred me to a psychiatrist for medication.

On my first visit with my current T, we just went over the forms and he checked to see if there was a precipitating event that lead me to therapy, or just kind of a generalized NEED for something. He pretty much lead the conversation most of the time, checked to see if I had questions, that kind of thing. I think that the opening post you wrote here would serve very well as a starting point. So, you could be done preparing already.

[critterlady]

I think being too prepared is a mistake for the initial few visits. The T will most likely start out by asking what brings you to therapy. You can give as much or as little information to answer that (and any) question that you like. Don't try to anticipate a diagnosis - tell the T what things you'd like to be different and let the T figure out the plan for you to get there. Most clinicians aren't that big on diagnosing. They'd rather deal with the person as an individual, rather than a set of specific symptoms.

Remember, if you're planning on being in therapy for more than a few months, you don't have to get it all out in the first session. It takes time. They don't expect to hear it all right up front. In fact, most long-term focused therapists won't even formulate a treatment plan until you've seen them a few times. Even so, not everything will come out then. I know in my case, we're working on things now that I never anticipated we would work on when i started seeing him a year ago. I don't know if he anticipated these things either, but I'm sure he knew right from the start that there was more than just the fairly superficial things I brought up in the beginning.

Use that first session to feel out how easy the T is to talk to, if you like his/her approach, and if you think this is someone with whom you can develop a relationship. That's the key, really. You want to leave that first session believing you "click" with the T or that you at least can get to that point.

And don't worry too much about the intake forms. I doubt any T expects to see it all there. Some things take a long time to bring up and they know it takes time to build that trust.

thanks everybody for the advice and suggestions. i'm just so anxious about everything and my mind goes blank when i get stressed out. that's why i wanted to write things down. i guess a half-page of just the important things that i'd want to go over at some point, like my social anxiety and those sorts of things, would be good to at least have handy, just so i'll remember it.

i know the first session is just to meet the T, but where i'm going i don't get to choose anyone. i'm probably misconstruing the whole idea of therapy but meh...it's hard for me to say "no i don't like this person" so i end up getting stuck with people who, sure they're nice people, but they aren't right for me...i should probably mention that in a first session, maybe? seems like a good idea right now...

[shlump]

These are all great suggestions.

If you were to visit with my T, I'd recommend having a bullet list ready with ot without how you feel about specific things, but definitely things that you know are concrete facts.

I don't know that this would be appropriate for everyone, or anyone besides me for that matter, or any other T than mine, but my T is very intuitive when it comes to seeing the feelings behind the statements. She will often ask how that made me feel, especially in the beginning. Now that she knows me well she will offer an idea of how she thinks I'm feeling to allow me a chance to compare it with my feelings. It gives me a starting point and a way to define my emotions in a context of someone elses view.

You seem to want to get moving quickly with this new T. That's very hard to do with any T, but you have some experience with this and some idea of how the process works. Hopefully this allows you to tailor your experience to give you the most benefit reasonably soon.

A first appointment is about feeling each other out, but do keep in mind that T's, good T's, will vary their approaches to your specific needs and your abilities, as well as self awareness. Intelligence level is a huge factor here. You are obviously bright. Please let this show. This will should be a BIG help to T in determining how to work with you initially.

Ooops, guess I ramble to, and you're not likely seeing my T, but maybe this can help you some.

Good Luck and let us know how it goes

thanks, shlump. your T sounds like my kind of person. i love lists. they make life easier.

i'm being super silly about this, as it's still going to be a while before i can actually schedule an appointment. just getting the papers filled out tomorrow (hopefully) and with the way i am, it will take forever to decide what's "good enough" to bring up on a first session.

ugh. i was never good at dating or anything and this feels similar. just a lot less possibly fun. i don't want to get friendly, i want to get helped...idk. still shaky and it's not for at least two more weeks...ugh...

I don't think you're being super silly about it. If being prepared makes you less anxious, then by all means, prepare away and we'll help. If, however, preparing just serves to increase your anxiety, maybe a distraction would be better?

[pbutton]

If it helps I am also a list-maker. HOWEVER, I have found that some of the most productive moments I have had in therapy have been spur of the moment unplanned topics of conversation.

i get enough distractions throughout my day with kids and things. i could do with fewer distractions i don't know, i can't focus on things anymore. i always get distracted and in therapy i always start talking about other people, shifting the conversation to something other than myself. so a list would be better.

i should write this down, lol

oh, also, lists are my distraction, haha. i write out the budget for the month like three or four times before i'm okay with how our money is going xD it helps a bunch with the stress.