[sittingatwatersedge]

what if T's office is not really your safe place, because since the rupture (which is now back in the weeds) it's not what it was for you?

What if T refers to it as such but you don't respond, knowing that ? Does she need to know it? Does she need to know that I am always on my guard, yes even in there, yes even with her, although most times I am able to get over it and do the work I came to do?

No ideas on how she could make it 'THE safe place' again. She has tried hard to get me to trust her again, and I really appreciate it, and I think we work together pretty well. It makes me feel bad when she refers to my safe place and nothing comes out of me, not even a nod.

[rainbow_rose]

this is where i'm at ... and i have no idea how to bring back to safe space.

(((sawe)))

[feralkittymom]

I suppose it depends upon whether you feel you need a safe space to accomplish what you want. For me, yeah, I'd need to talk about it. But my goals were deeply rooted in relationship. Had I been pursuing a more strictly cognitive or technique driven process, then maybe not. If you feel a loss, then it may be necessary to address that--but for your benefit, not your T's.

[Nightlight]

I went back when it was no longer my safe place for the first time. I couldn't even look at T, although I wasn't exactly sure why. I've never struggled to look at her while we talk in the past. I think she was the first one that said something about how I didn't feel safe. I don't think it really clicked with me until I'd left, and I knew then that she was right. It wasn't safe at all. I was afraid of her and her office, and I almost didn't make it back. I've shared my thoughts since about why it became unsafe, and I'm not done sharing them yet, because there's still so much more. I'm not sure she expected me to feel this UNSAFE, but I do....so she gets to hear about it.

I think it has to be explored. There's a lot to be gained. Yes next time tell her that it doesn't feel safe now. Protecting her isn't your responsibilty.

[rainbow8]

I'm sorry T's office isn't your safe place anymore. My T knows the lake is my safe place, but I also feel safe in her office. I think you should tell your T because that's what her job is, to help you, no matter what you feel. It's important to feel safe with T, but it doesn't have to be your primary safe place, IMHO.

I understand T's office NOT feeling safe because I feel a tiny bit unsafe since T and I have this problem with touching now, and I don't think she trusts me. She was ready say "no more hugs" when hugs were always something totally safe for me. She's a little bit frustrated with me and that makes me not feel as safe.

It's unsettled when there is a problem not discussed regarding the T-relationship, so that's why I think honesty is the best policy.

[amandalouise]

Originally Posted by sittingatwatersedge

what if T's office is not really your safe place, because since the rupture (which is now back in the weeds) it's not what it was for you?

What if T refers to it as such but you don't respond, knowing that ? Does she need to know it? Does she need to know that I am always on my guard, yes even in there, yes even with her, although most times I am able to get over it and do the work I came to do?

No ideas on how she could make it 'THE safe place' again. She has tried hard to get me to trust her again, and I really appreciate it, and I think we work together pretty well. It makes me feel bad when she refers to my safe place and nothing comes out of me, not even a nod.

it does help my therapist and I when I let her know Im not feeling safe in her office. I have told her this for all kinds of situations... my being suicidal, or self injury urges and her office contains all kinds of things that can be used, the last session was very involved and instead of being there in the moment my head slips into the last session, or some sort of "battle" my therapist and I had in the past rears its head...the list goes on...

when ever I tell my therapist I dont feel safe at that moment in her office we either take things to a different office in the building or we take things outside, to a coffee shop, ...where ever I feel most comfortable.

[~EnlightenMe~]

Originally Posted by sittingatwatersedge

what if T's office is not really your safe place, because since the rupture (which is now back in the weeds) it's not what it was for you?

What if T refers to it as such but you don't respond, knowing that ? Does she need to know it? Does she need to know that I am always on my guard, yes even in there, yes even with her, although most times I am able to get over it and do the work I came to do?

No ideas on how she could make it 'THE safe place' again. She has tried hard to get me to trust her again, and I really appreciate it, and I think we work together pretty well. It makes me feel bad when she refers to my safe place and nothing comes out of me, not even a nod.

I think you should definitely talk about it with your therapist. It is something that is bothering you, and it sounds like you have a good therapist, so I suspect she will know how to help you work through this.