[Miswimmy1]

I saw the sub t. I was so nervous (I canceled the last one). Anyway, she centers on mindfulness. She had me trying some grounding exercise. It had to do with standing up, closing your eyes, and swaying: in circles, back and forth, etc.) I was already really vulnerable feeling. I did not want to close my eyes. I dont like the feeling of rocking. I think it's to let u be in control. But I felt off balance and unsettled. It was not a positive experience. So I guess my question is... Will this go away? Or could it be that mindfulness isn't for me?

[retro_chic]

I always feel really weird and self conscious doing any of those mindfulness/relaxation techniques in front of anyone including T. Have you tried doing the exercises on your own in private? In my experience I am more successful with them when I have privacy but I still struggle. I think it just takes practice!

I remember when my first T was teaching me this breathing exercise and she said some people find it easier to do it when they are on all fours. She then proceeded to get on the floor and show me. I just sat there like and said "I will definitely wait until I get home to try that!" haha

[Nightlight]

My T does mindfulness too. I hate closing my eyes. At first even just focusing on slowing my breath actually made me way more self conscious and anxious. At first I hated it, but I do think it can be really helpful if you give it a chance. It's good to learn to observe things without judging and to be in the moment rather than living in the past and future. It took a while for me, but I'm better now. My T also always closed her eyes at the same time (and I don't think I'd have managed otherwise).

[Syra]

Originally Posted by Miswimmy1

I saw the sub t. I was so nervous (I canceled the last one). .. Will this go away? Or could it be that mindfulness isn't for me?

Maybe. My preference is for a T that will work with my fears instead of confronting them head on. I've learned that when the therapist thinks she knows what I need, or should do, or be, better than I do it usually doesn't work - even if I'm wrong. Therapy isn't being in a class. It's my journey.

[Inedible]

Swaying is a new one for me. I had trouble with walking extremely slowly; at first I would fall down and have to catch myself. I think swaying is more of a grounding exercise to feel yourself within gravity more intensely and to make yourself more aware of all the little movements needed to shift your balance. Either way, mindfulness is really about the process of watching yourself as you watch yourself. It goes far beyond what you happen to be doing at the time.

I had to do something like this as physical therapy for my back. Close my eyes and walk. Once I close my eyes my balance went out the window. I did not like giving up my visual references to reality.

[Bill3]

Or could it be that mindfulness isn't for me?

To me, one session with sub t does not provide enough evidence to draw conclusions about mindfulness.

[rainbow8]

Mindfulness is not just about swaying. My T, my yoga teacher, and my DBT leader all practice mindfulness techniques and we have never swayed, once!

When my T first wanted me to close my eyes and breathe, I was very self-conscious. Then I saw that she closed her eyes, too. I found that I felt better with my eyes closed, and could eventually relax and do it! I close my eyes often in my sessions and for me, it's better because I get nervous/excited looking at my T too much.

We do different mindfulness exercises in DBT. One was looking around the room for all the "circles" we could find. That was fun, and certainly took my mind off my problems! She rings a bell to start, and at the end so we know when to stop. Mindfulness could be eating a chocolate chip and observing all of your senses getting involved! I'd say to give it some more time and tell your T if you don't like the swaying so you can do something else.

[Miswimmy1]

Originally Posted by YYZadd

Once I close my eyes my balance went out the window. I did not like giving up my visual references to reality.

Exactly... I don't have good balance to begin with... I found it much more anxiety provoking because I had to concentrate on keeping my balance and not looking stupid in front of t.

Originally Posted by Bill3

To me, one session with sub t does not provide enough evidence to draw conclusions about mindfulness.

Yes that is true. I only see her once, so I guess its kind of moot now. I thought that mindfulness might be something worth exploring with my own t when she comes back, but... yeah.

[Bill3]

I think that exploring mindfulness with regular T would be a constructive step if/when you are ready. Maybe see what she thinks and what you think and go from there.

[stopdog]

I think it may be premature to make a sweeping statement about mindfulness in general.

I would not, however, close my eyes in the room with the therapist.

[sunrise]

There are lots of mindfulness exercises that don't involve swaying, Miswimmy, and you might find some useful--can you tell the T you would rather not do the swaying? I learned some Mindfulness exercises in a group setting. I found this to be pretty cost effective. We had a sitting group and a leader and learned and practiced Mindfulness exercises together. I would not pay my T his huge hourly fee to do Mindfulness. I wouldn't feel I was getting my money's worth because I can practice Mindfulness in a group setting or on my own and both "cost" way less than my T. (I pay out of pocket.) I like to spend my time with my T doing stuff I cannot do on my own or by taking a class.

[~EnlightenMe~]

You can - buy mindfulness meditatation CDs, or on Itunes, etc, and do them alone at home. I like Jon Kabat Zinn. Altho, sometimes I am mindful with it and I stop being mindful and go into my own world because his voice is soothing. But the goal, Zinn says, is to fall awake:-)

[Bill3]

STOP: A Short Mindfulness Practice

http://elishagoldstein.com/resources...ness-practice/

[Anne2.0]

It makes total sense that feelings of unsafety would arise in the course of practicing mindfulness. Mindfulness is all about being in the present (not really in control per se) and my guess is that when you focus on engaging in the physical task (swaying or whatever), you actually cannot engage your brain in worrying about what will happen after you leave session or ruminating about something negative that happened earlier in the day. Mindfulness exercises are all about paying attention to something that is usually linked to the physical body, but the cool thing is that the training also allows you to fully experience emotions or whatever in the present, without your defenses kicking in.

So when you focus on the present, you have to drop your defenses, that you engage in in order to feel safe. Mindfulness will help you feel safe without those defenses, that keep you from your life in the present and keep you anchored in your experiences and all their related biases/distortions in the past. In part, you learn that your defenses really only function to keep you stuck in the way you feel like now, closed off to feeling and behaving differently, and they have nothing to do with BEING safe. Don't confuse feeling safe with actually being safe.

You know that sticky at the top of the forum about cognitive distortions? As an exercise for yourself, run through them and see how many the title of your post seems to fit (I count 5). Consider the possibility of changing how you think about mindfulness and/or consider being open to it in the future.

Just as an aside-- I am teaching mindfulness to my 11 year old. He has no defenses and he is a really in the moment kid (most are, at this age) and mindfulness is only about whether he truly likes it or not. From the very beginning (just a simple body scan exercise), he has loved it. I think of his reaction as a "pure" one, as in what many people would feel like, if they hadn't already had experiences in life that cause them to put up defenses that get in the way of trying to be in the present. To me it's a good lesson about the positivity of mindfulness.

[sconnie892]

My t had me do progressive relaxation techniques only a few sessions after I met her. I had to close my eyes and she watched me. It was very difficult as that trusting relationship had not yet been fully established. If she asked me to do the same activity now (over a year later) I would be completely comfortable with it.

I wouldn't write off mindfulness. I have found some of the mindfulness activities to be incredibly helpful. However, it takes practice. (Just like perfecting a swim stroke ) Perhaps as others have suggested, try some on your own where you don't have the pressure of someone watching you.

[Sannah]

Remember why we aren't mindful in the first place - we want to escape our present! When the T was trying to get you to focus on your present, it is like "yikes"!

[Anne2.0]

Originally Posted by Sannah

Remember why we aren't mindful in the first place - we want to escape our present! When the T was trying to get you to focus on your present, it is like "yikes"!

Hey, I said that ! It only took me 4 paragraphs to do it, though. I need to learn to cut to the chase-- you do that very, very well.

[rainbow8]

Thanks, Anne and Sannah. Now I know why this therapy is so much different from any of my others. I have nowhere to hide! T asks and notices how I am right there in front of her eyes. It's taken me a couple of years to feel safe enough to do that with her, to drop my defenses, as you say, to answer her questions about where I feel it in my body and how I feel looking at her, looking around the room, etc. It's scary but it's the most useful work I've done. I think mindfulness is a great tool.

[geez]

Originally Posted by Miswimmy1

I saw the sub t. I was so nervous (I canceled the last one). Anyway, she centers on mindfulness. She had me trying some grounding exercise. It had to do with standing up, closing your eyes, and swaying: in circles, back and forth, etc.) I was already really vulnerable feeling. I did not want to close my eyes. I dont like the feeling of rocking. I think it's to let u be in control. But I felt off balance and unsettled. It was not a positive experience. So I guess my question is... Will this go away? Or could it be that mindfulness isn't for me?

It could be that this technique in mindfulness isn't comfortable for you. I would share that with your T. In general to close your eyes and sway would be difficult even when not doing mindfulness!

If you don't feel comfortable with it, then don't do it. I find that meditation exercises are very difficult because although it clears the mind, it allows other stuff to jump in!

[mixedup_emotions]

http://bodyodd.nbcnews.com/_news/201...d-anxiety?lite

I read this article and thought of your post....I can relate to the idea of relaxing being triggery....

[QuietCat]

Originally Posted by kindergirl

If you don't feel comfortable with it, then don't do it. I find that meditation exercises are very difficult because although it clears the mind, it allows other stuff to jump in!

This reminds me of a quote I read on a website about mindfulness. It was something like "mindfulness is like a pond of water. You have to still your mind to see what's underneath everything. The same way you can see the bottom of a pond when the water is still."

I agree that people shouldn't be pushed into mindfulness if it's uncomfortable though.