Dear Client

I see lots of things that seem unhelpful. Some of it that people describe here. some of them responses. And I have to remind myself: everyone has their own path, and the straightest path from here-to-alot-more-healthy is rarely a straight line.

If that is what someone thinks is the best way for them to spend their time, I figure it's their time and their money, and they probably know better than I do what is best for them. Perhaps what they will learn is that this isn't a profitable use of time, but it will then be their learning and their inclination to do that will be gone, rather than forbidden, or judged. Maybe they will learn something transferable. I'm always surprised what does and doesn't help others - and myself!

I didn't understand this either. (((earthmama?)))

I can see if one were wondering about therapy and read stuff here that sounded unclear or odd or worrisome, that one might well tell the therapist and ask how a therapist would handle that sort of thing, or if the client could expect to have a certain response and so forth. I don't really understand how it would be unsafe for any one.

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Thanks for this Farmergirl and for other posts. I see your point that general statements would not work for them (which is really what I was looking for). I was kind of looking for something like "Dear Client, You have taught me so much about myself or, you have opened my eyes to..., or words of similar meaning". Nothing that would be very specific to details or single anyone out. Just looking for kind words of how much they think of their clients. Do they think of their clients after hours? Are they annoyed to receive phone calls? Do many clients call in crisis? Just wondering what goes on across the other side of the desk (we don't hear about that stuff you know). Maybe the clients need to be more considerate of their T's "off" time? Just wondering about things like that.

Regarding some other messages on this thread: I cringe at the thought of having my post being read in someone's therapy session, just for the heck of it. I am writing to share with members of PC and get their input (not for entertainment). This is just how I feel. The exception I would make is, if someone has read something that causes a trigger reaction for them or, if the client believes a post has relevance to their own issues. I can see someone reading those in session. Just my personal viewpoint on this. Thanks for all of your feedback.

Michelle,
I am doing an art therapy class at the minute and our teacher is a t and she was crying at the start of our class last week so I asked her what was wrong and she said she had a really tough session before our class and sometimes she forgets how hard her proffession is. So in answer to your question they do think about their clients after hours and it does upset them sometimes which is why they are so good at self care and have lots of tools to help them deal with their own up's and downs.

I know my T thinks of his clients outside of sessions. He told me once that he was standing in the middle of a river fly fishing when he had an insight about me. He's talked about being on his morning bike ride and realizing he was in our neighborhood. So, yes, we do cross their minds from time to time.

My therapist has told me that she has talked about me outside of session. Since I am pretty sure she doesn't use my name, it doesn't bother me. And no one knows me anyway even if she did.

But I don't think I'd be the type of patient she would ever think about in a serious way. She might tell someone, "Hey, I have a patient that does that!" But actually reaching the depths of her soul on an emotional level? Nope. I don't think I'm that important to her, and I'm not sure I'd want to be anyway.

Even if T was going to answer this their answer would be different each client.

As far as my T:
Do they think of their clients after hours? Yes T does!
Are they annoyed to receive phone calls? T keeps phone conversations short. So I don't think T likes the phone.
Do many clients call in crisis? I don't know T returns calls between 4-6
Maybe the clients need to be more considerate of their T's "off" time? My T only work M,W,F until 5 pm.

why wouldn't they? it would be like an attorney who could listen to juries deliberating

I'm a T I think of my clients outside of therapy. Some more than others. But mostly I think about my old T *rolls eyes *

Dear Clients

I want you to know how privileged I feel to have you come here. To see you often move from a place of fear and mistrust to one of freedom and growth; to see you get well and become more alive. I know that many of you have been so hurt as little ones and sometimes the pain and fear is so intense you need to push me away. It's so scary to find you have needs and we need to go slowly because of that. It's ok that you get angry with me - you need to find out it's safe. You need to test to see I won't retaliate, that I am strong enough.

Thank you for allowing me to share with you, and be witness to, your pain, but also to your joy and achievements.

I am here for as long as you need, I believe in you and I want you to reach your potential, and to be able to do it in your way, not in my way. I won't push you away because you need to depend on me -we all need to be able to depend in order to become independent - and I know that is needed. That's often what you never had. There can be so many difficult feelings in there - love, hate, envy, erotic and confusing sexual feelings, rage and many more - they are all welcome here and it's ok to talk about them.

I know it's often hard to know how much I care, but I do, and you are all held in mind with love.

Take very good care

Moon

Moon, that is lovely.
Shame it makes me feel a bit sick.

The only thing better would be if this was from my T. Felt like just the words I would hear her say, and actually makes me feel much more comfortable going to her today. Thank you.

Thank you, Moon. If you'll allow me to use you as proxy...thank you, from the depths of my heart.

thanks for sharing that moon ... I'd really like to hear those words from my t ... or from anybody

OMG, Moon. What a beautiful thing to say!

Beautiful to read Moon

I am guessing that Moon is either not a T, has never been in therapy, or is extremely new to the profession. Not meant as an offense, it just seems too picture perfect, what anybody yearns to hear.

From what I remember Moon does proclaim to be a T. These things just can't be verified. ETA. My T speaks like this occasionally and its feels sincere.

I don't yearn to hear that from a therapist. In fact, it would freak me out.
I am not saying it is bad if you do want to hear it, just that it is not for everyone.

From reading Moon's previous posts, I believe her sincerity. You make assumptions that I feel come off as patronising.

Perhaps things cannot always be perfect, perhaps not all Ts have these ideals, either - but just because your own experience of therapy and therapists doesn't match up to something said here doesn't mean you should scoff at or try to discredit it or the person who posted it.

NTLF: Whatever made you dredge up this thread from the archives? It was from my innocent days, which I can do without recalling now. However, the letter from Moonlitsky may well be worth the embarrassment.

Thanks moon,

The idea that "every second counts" is one of the plagues of our civilization.
Spending time in silly and unproductive ways is important, I feel.

I agree except I don't expect to pay a therapist for it. I can do that on my own.