Has your T ever made you feel scolded?

Preach it sistah. Me too.
See, for me this would be too pushy. I am not a fighter. Plain and simple, I couldn't handle it. I would have been crushed as well.

Thanks Wiki. It was a full on hour of it too. I hope if we make it through it will be the sort of thing that helps me in the end, but right now and so far...so not worth it. I cried my way through the whole thing and I never cry in front for people like that, or at all really. When I actually said out loud that I wanted to walk out and never come back, T just said the negative things all over again. It went way too far...and I think T knows now too. She did finally act a bit more like herself, apologise sincerely, and look very sad when she saw me for the first time this year.

Anyway, I scold myself so much that I really don't need a T who joins in.

I was scolded by my XT and all it did was make me cry and hate her. My current T has not tried, but he knows I fear being shamed so I think he is careful not to. Being scolded leads me from sadness to anger on the flip of a dime.

I just remembered XT saying "just take the effing ativan Wiki".
That hurt like hell, because he knew how hard it was detoxing from it.

My T has been firm with me at times...and when that didn't work, he resorted to name calling and mean sarcasm.

I confronted him about it during the next sessions, and he admitted why he did what he did. He wanted to shock me to get me to see that I was in danger. I told him his approach didn't work AT ALL.

Even when I've been dissociative during session, he is directive but not scolding or overly demanding. I'm sure he understands that it could lead to retraumatization. But when he is frustrated at me, he sure does find ways to let me know - and not all of the ways are healthy, IMO.

Most importantly, we find a way to work through it...and we learn and grow from it.

I've felt scolded by T a couple of times (one of those times being similar to the OP in that she was demanding I open my eyes as I wasn't 'engaging'. I had my eyes closed because I was too scared to look at her and was having a panic attack).

I found it rather shocking and upsetting that she would speak to me like she did, in such a manner/tone... But, like CantExplain, I guess I was the one who cast her in the maternal role... I guess parents sometimes get frustrated with their kids, right?

(Also, when I did open my eyes.. she was like 'well hello there'... as if to a child playing peek-a-boo. Which I feel I maybe should have found offensive and patronising, but didn't.. I think I was very much in 'child mode'.. maybe she was just reacting to me.. maybe 'scolding' me was what was needed at the time?)

My t has totally earned the right to scold me as well, and she has on occassion, at which times i have completely dserved it.

I think it's hard to comment on anyone else's experience when you're not there in the session but...

I would absolutely go to pieces if my T did this.

But then he knows that, knows I am terrified of him being angry with me, and is very patient and reassuring.

Whereas another client might be able to handle it.

my t doesn't scold me. in fact, she is very aware of the trust issues i have and she tries very hard to not say or do anything that would send me into shut down mode. she gently reprimands me sometimes, but not in a way that blames me as a person, if that makes sense. she doesnt really believe in failure, and she has never raised her voice with me or snapped at me.

i think i would talk to your t about it. it may have been that he was just having an off day.

I was scolded. I found it not only harmful, but highly unprofessional for a several reasons.

I think scolding is comparable to a child throwing a tantrum--childish, selfish behavior. It's out of control. It's sloppy, incompetent communication. I feel scolding emphasizes the inequality between therapist and client. The therapist communicates his privilege entitled to be rude and abusive, but the client (often) is allowed no recourse to respond or reciprocate.

I find scolding communicates the client's subordination to the capriciously disapproving therapist. This certainly is no improvement over the dysfunctional family. I also believe scolding imparts the illusion the therapist can behave any way he pleases by virtue of his position. Therapist and client simply are two human beings, and the relationship doesn't change human behavior or response. Finally, I think scolding selfishly serves the therapist, not the client.

I regret not kicking my scolding therapist to the curb as soon as it happened. If a therapist is humble enough to recognize and apologize for his behavior, then perhaps the relationship can mend. But I'd wager many of the "scolders" only know how to operate from arrogance. Being a therapist grants no one immunity from rudeness.