Really? After all these months?

You know, sometimes I just get sick of productive therapy work. It is so d*mn hard.

Nobody's stopping you if that's what you really want to do. Free country and all that. You are at a fork in the road and you do have a free choice. But I kind of think that if you really wanted to do the same old thing, you wouldn't have posted about it and you wouldn't be struggling with it now.

In my experience, choosing not to reflectively respond in an old comfortable fashion and making a decision to consciously, deliberately go in the direction that I want to be can feel really liberating and wonderful. Before making that choice, however, it's basically h e l l . You may feel better if you act rather than think about acting.

Amen to that. Aloof is a good way of characterizing it. I was trying to differentiate apathy from acceptance in T today. As in, how do I accept the limitations of the T relationship (abandonment triggers included) without resorting to apathy.

So...I just thought that I'd add my two cents....

I have had three Ts. The first one I never had her cell, never asked for it, and don't know if she gave it out. The second T only had a cell number she gave out. I only texted her twice, both about scheduling or changing an appointment. One time she responded quickly and the other time took her several days...so, thank goodness I never texted her anything urgent. My mother once left her an urgent voicemail, and that T didn't respond for days (bad T).

My current T has quite different boundaries. She said in the first session that she used to give her cell phone number out but that several people abused it, and it just got out of control/became too much. So, she had to set strict boundaries with all clients. Interestingly enough, she is the most responsive T that I have had to date. She checks her work number voicemail several times a day, every day. She has always responded very quickly/within a couple hours when I have called and left a message (which I have only done maybe 3 times in a year?). I'm kind of glad for this boundary, and I think if I was a T, then I'd do the same. I am NOT saying that anyone on here does this or has done this, but I can see how if a T gives out a personal cell phone, email, work phone, and has 2 voicemails, how all of this can get really out of hand if all clients are constantly pinging them with 5 different forms/ways of communication. I completely see how not hearing from a T could be devastating; I am sure I would feel that way if I did not hear from my T (I'd feel abandoned). I can also see how Ts may be burning themselves out by allowing clients too much constant contact. However, it also seems like a T should not handle a burn-out in a passive aggressive manner, and if said T is feeling overwhelmed or feeling over contacted, then said T should set a boundary and stick to it but still remain responsive and available for urgent matters. It is a tough situation/gray area for sure....