Beginnings and endings of sessions

Now and then there's a thread about how Ts begin their sessions (or wait for clients to do so), or about how they wrap up each apointment. I thought it might be interesting to ask people how their Ts begin and end the sessions.

My T begins by shaking my hand, and then we sit down, and he's silent, waiting for me to start. He tends to mostly but not constantly look at me while he waits for me to speak. Very occasionally he'll begin by talking about scheduling or other practical matters, and once or twice he has made a remark about me and how I seem. But those are exceptions.

At the end of the session, T will break off wherever we are and just say "We'll continue on [weekday]". Then we get up, shake hands, and I leave.

My T comes out to get me in the lobby, and as we're walking back to her office, she'll usually make small talk - ask about traffic, weather, etc. Once we're in her office, and the door's shut, and we're both seated, 90% of the time, she'll ask me "What do you need today?" Sometimes, if I've sent her an email asking her to check with me on something or remind me to tell her something, she'll start with "so do you want to talk about the email you sent?"

Usually, near the end of session, T will say that we "need to wrap things up." Sometimes she'll ask me what I'm taking away from the session, sometimes not. We confirm our next appointment, and she walks me to the door.

It's like a blind date for me each time, awkward and uncomfortable. We have no consistent opener or closer.

Great thread Apteryx:0)
My T begins each session with "Well button, howwww are you?" And i always say "Ok thanks, how are you?" T laughs and brings it back around to me and asks how I would like to use my time today.
She ends the session by saying "Button, its time to chuck you out now" and we both laugh and schedule another session. Sometimes we hug but not every session actually, just when I have brought her in a present Usually on the way up the stairs t rambles on about the weather and what she did last night.

My T starts the same way as yours does. He closes the door, settles into his chair and looks at me. It's up to me to start the conversation. Once in a while, I'll mess with his head and just say "hi!" He says it back and then says "how are you?" Then he realizes he's started the actual conversing part and I win.

He ends by looking directly at the clock and saying "I have to stop us now," and then he usually gives me a parting thought. It's usually a different way of looking at something that he asks me to consider or a reiteration of something he said earlier. Then he reaches for his appointment book and the session is over.

Once in a very great while, he'll think of something else he wants to say as I'm walking to the door. It's usually something he wants me to focus on before our next session.

I come exactly on time so I usually just walk into the open office. At the beginning the therapist will ask some question. At the end, I see time is ended so I stand up, toss money on the table and walk out.

My T looks out the door to the Lobby, and I get up and follow her in. We make small talk...hi/how are you's are exchanged, etc. Then, she officially starts the session by saying, "So, how are you doing?"

She ends each session by asking me with a few minutes left, "What are you walking away with?" Then, I highlight the things we discussed and progress I made...she may interject to emphasize or add something. After that, she walks me back out.

That is hilarious....I "quarrel" with my T about picking topics every session, so I know what you're talking about, hee hee

He always asks me about my mood to start. Then he asks me about what I want our focus for the session to be.

At the end, I usually notice him glancing at the clock, so I look also, and one or the other of us comments on how much time is left. He always seems to get us to place where we're ending at an okay place for me. We have only gone over a couple of times when I had totally lost it and was having trouble getting it back together. He used to ask me what my thoughts were about the session, but I finally convinced him to stop that. I don't know WHAT I think until later when I have had a chance to absorb everything and think about it.

This is interesting to read what others do.

Mine sticks his head out into the waiting room and says, "Come on in." Once we're seated he'll ask how I am, and this question used to take me a looooong time to respond to because I didn't know what the answer was supposed to be. Then he usually will go right into rate your anxiety and/or depression this week on a scale of 1 to 10. Then he goes over his notes from the week before and asks me various questions about my thoughts on the last session. Then he'll usually ask what I would like to focus on that session.

When time is up he'll usually have things to a good end spot and he'll just say, "We have to wrap up now." The past few times though he's pointed out that we're in overtime, which has always been his fault, not mine. It's not like I talk a lot. Then he takes out his appointment book and makes sure I'll be there the same time next week.

My T comes and gets me from the lobby. We make small talk on the way back to his office. He looks over my depression scale worksheet which will sometimes give him an insight into how I'm doing that week. And then he'll sit and wait until I say something first. He waits until my smile breaks down into something more 'real' and we get started. If it doesn't, he knows I'm not doing well and will start the conversation himself.

Just one time he walked slowly by the scales to see how I'd react just after we were discussing my ED in the beginning. Notice I said, just one time? That never happened again.

Towards the end, because I tend to keep an eye on the time too, I ask him what I should be working on for the next week and we discuss that. He asks if I'm safe and if I'll be back to see him for our next visit.

T says "Night, come on through" and I go in and sit down and then she sits down. I've always struggled a lot with the talking, so usually my T has helped to lead me towards what I need to talk about. Recently she's told me she shouldn't have to "do so much of the work", and she "takes too much control". Then she started a few sessions by asking "so, what did you bring to work on today" and because previous sessions starting like that always ended up with her so angry with me, no matter how hard I tried and thought I was "working", I panicked each time she began like that. The last few times she's tended to ask "how are you" which I struggle to answer honestly, but I try. Often, in the past it would start more naturally, with us both talking, and that helped me get to where I needed to be. Still, sometimes now she'll help a bit by responding quite openly about things I've said. When I brought up an issue we've been having she told me she'd thought about it during the week and she realised she was being too reactive with me and quite defensive. So she does, if I'm lucky, still help me along in the beginning.

T usually glances, a rather subtle quick glance, at the clock, which I often catch, 2-5 minutes or so before the end, though never before then unless I ask about the time. T's clock has stopped working (last two sessions) and she was wearing a watch (she doesn't usually in sessions) and although I barely look at her anymore, I was looking up enough for just a few seconds to catch a very quick check of her watch a few minutes before the end. I've stopped wearing a watch myself and have decided not to think about the time ticking away. At the end T sort of says "okay" and gets out her diary to book my next appointment or she stands to get her receipt book.

This T has a small little waiting area, I always arrive right on time, but I still sit in the waiting area even though her door is open. She usually waves me in right away. When I sit she asks if I want water or tea, I always decline. Then she asks how I am. I was never able to speak much with a therapist, but with her for some reason I don't care so much what she thinks of me. So I usually can just tell her what's going on. Because there is so much going on with me right now, we usually have things to catch up on.

About 5 minutes before the end my phone vibrates, so I pull out my check and lay it on the table. She usually says, "well, we talked about a lot of things today, but I would really like to remember......." and she sums up a few high points. Then she will say "is there anything you would like to add?" I always say no. Then she says, "I am available.....(or I'm not available on....) please call me if you need or want to. I hope you find moments of peace this week."

T ususally comes out of his office on his phone, smiles, says hi and invites me back to his office. He will do something, like talk to the receptionist, get a drink , go to the bathroom then come into the office. Sometimes we chat for a couple of mintues about different things. Then, he says.. Well, how are you today? Or So we talked about this last week, how is that going.

Ending.. We just seem to find a natural ending. If he wants me to do something or be thinking about something for the week he says so.. Really, what tells me our session is ending is when he gets up and goes behind his desk and asks are we set up for next week?

My T usually comes out, goes to the bathroom then calls me back. By the time I walk down the hall to his office, he's already seated and watching me (which makes me uncomfortable but I know he's doing that to read my body language).

After I close the door and sit down, he looks quietly at me waiting for me to talk. Sometimes he'll ask how I'm doing. Today I asked him how he was feeling since he had to cancel our last session after coming down with the flu.

To end, he'll give me a 5 minute warning and say "it's time to come in for a landing" (which I hate the terms, but like the 5 minute warning). Then he asks when I want to come in again and we make the next appointment.

My T has a small waiting room (there are 2 offices in his practice) and he always either comes out with the previous client, or comes out alone after they've left and motions me in. (Yeah, I know - I don't like seeing his other clients, especially when they do a high-five in the waiting room like one did and they're acting like they're BFFs. But I've gotten used to it. ) He never greets me the same way twice, and may smile ... or not. We usually chat briefly about traffic, or the weather, etc, except when I'm in a foul mood and just march in and plop down on the couch silently. If I don't start the conversation, he'll say something like "So, what's been on your mind this week?"

At the end, he indicates the session is over usually by swiveling in his chair and checking his appt book to verify when my next session is. Occasionally we come close to running over and he'll say something like "We have to stop now." I wear a watch, so I start checking it when I feel like we're getting near the end of a session. I don't want to be in the middle of something and have him cut me off because we're out of time, so I take it upon myself to gauge the last 10 minutes or so. Then when he ends it, I'm already prepared for it. Gee, maybe I'm a little bit of a control freak????

Well for the past 17 months we are just doing skype and phone sessions since she has been out of the country,so, we usually text one another and one of us says, hey you got time to talk. If the other one does, then we call her. How we start depends on which inside kids calls her. So sessions moght start with

- hey T guess what?
- hi t how are you doing
- what you doing t.
-i gotta talk to you t.
- we usually chit chat a while about whats new with both of us

Endings usually go with one of us noticing the time and saying "oh my gosh its getting late! We better get going. When should we talk again?are you going to be home on ______?" Or one of us starting to yawn or start to fall asleep and saying its time to head to bed.

When t was still in town and had her office, we would go park outside her house, or park at her office and start walking to her house and meet her halfway, and take a walk with her. And when we saw each other give her a hug. And just chit chat a while.
On the way out, we end with the same-- the sessions lasted four or five hours, we are both too tired to function anymore so we better get going, give a few hugs on the way out, usually drive her home, say good night, figure out when our next session will be.

My T is almost always late...very late lol. So I sit in the waiting room until the previous client leaves. Then he will sometimes peek out of the door and tell me to come in, most often though he will just call out to me to come on in. I walk in and sit down while he is doing any number of things- getting a snack, leaving to go to the bathroom, writing notes.... I sit awkwardly until he is ready and then he looks at me (I assume because I am certainly not looking in his direction). He usually starts off with something related to what I have emailed him throughout the week and we just end up going from there.

The end of session seems to fall naturally. He usually finds some way to lighten the mood before we end so I am fairly safe to leave. The end time for session is very unpredictable as we often go over and my sessions last between 50-75 minutes or so. For the longest time he would ask me what I was taking from this session as we were wrapping up. It would be torture for me as it felt like a test and I was terrified that I would not have the correct answer and my mind would go completely blank. Thankfully he has stopped doing that with me. Every once in a blue moon he will try asking that question and seems surprised somehow when he still gets the same deer-in-the-headlights look from me...think he figures after all this time I have relaxed or something...silly T LOL

thank you!!!! I was beginning to think I was the only one who needed to do that!!

Ugh. Mine has a small waiting room too, and one other T practices there. Sometimes I have to sit in there with another patient and pretend to be interested in my journal or smartphone. It reminds me of a funny scene in a Looney Tunes Show (newest version of Looney Tunes, not old version) where Sylvester the cat goes to see a therapist about his obsession with a laser light dot and Wiley Coyote is in the waiting room to see another therapist and they have an awkward waiting room moment together.

But what I really meant to comment on is that sometimes I also have to see another patient come out of my T's office before me and it bothers me too. I don't like to be a following act just minutes after another person was in there.

My T either lets the previous client out of his office and then I come in from his waiting room, or if he is already alone, he opens the door and lets me in. (I don't mind if I see the other client.) We go in and sit on couches across from each other. First I give him the check, and he says thank you. Then he will look at me expectantly. Sometimes he will ask me how I am but often not. If the silence goes on a bit, he may encourage me with "I'm all ears" or "whatcha thinking?" Then I start talking and we go from there. On occasion, he has said, "What are you needing from me today?" But not often (thankfully).

Ending--the session just comes to a natural close. I let T be in charge of ending. If he wants to let us go over time, that is his choice. I don't even look at the clock. The last thing we do is make a new appointment. He asks me when I want to come in next and he checks his calendar to see if he has anything open that day. Then we get up, move toward the door, often pause to hug, and then I leave.

When my t was still local, she'd come out to get me from the waiting room and we'd share the polite "how are you's" on the walk down the hallway to her then-office. Once she'd closed the door and we'd sat down then she'd always wait for me to speak first, looking at me of course. I'd almost always just say "hi" and wave LOL then tell her what I wanted to talk about. She'd always end the sessions by saying something like "we've still got a few minutes, if you have any other thoughts" or something along those lines just to gently remind me of the time. Then I'd wind up whatever we were talking about, put her money on the little table between us as I was getting up, and she'd walk me out the 'secret door'. (I always loved that she called it that. It was a door from her office to the parking lot so you didn't have to go out through the waiting room.)

Now that she's a few states north of me and we do phone sessions, I call her and we still start the same with the "how are you's" then she'll say "So, I got your dreams email..." or whatever I've emailed her that I wanted to work on and off we go. The time boundary is a little different on phone sessions. There's no annoying t clock staring me in the face so I don't notice the time at all. I call her from my home office, and there's no clock in there. I don't TRY to take advantage of that fact, but I have to admit to having a couple of full 60 minute sessions because SHE didn't notice. Oopsie.

Mine welcomes me into her office, then we sit at a table. she has a huge hour glass on the table and she turns it over. Then she waits for me to say something. I feel uncomfortable and blabber all kinds of stuff in a mixed up emotional way. Then she decides what type of therapy she is going to apply.

At the end she gets her appt book and suggests when we should get back together. She walks me to the door at the other end of the building. We say goodbye.

My T will come and get me from the waiting room and ask me how I am once in the room. I will respond "Okay" (even if I'm not) and T will tell me what she has planned for the session. Usually she will want to go over and discuss any home work I had and also discuss the email I sent her (I always email with an update before each session because I tend to get nervous and forget things if I don't). T will then ask me if I have anything I would like to add to the agenda. I usually don't and then we get started. As far as ending goes my T magically ends our conversation right on time each session without cutting me off or anything. I'm not sure how she does it... she must have excellent time management!

The hourglass would completely distract and annoy me. I definitely would not want to be reminded of the time when I'm in my session.