Welcome to the Couth that Would Not Die - Episode 37: Clean up that Cool Whip!

OMG I hope there is not going to be a People of the Couch thing where you will be subjected to images on me sitting in my penguin jammies, a pint of ice cream in my hand and a cat on each side of me

There's no foot fetish forum? For shame!

(Only joking!)

fix i have read every post you have made on the couch and may have even responded with at least a hug and i have also read your post in the forum about not fitting in . i have engoyed your posts but am scared that i will get blasted or accused of not responding enough or not being friendly enough so am shy to respond to your feelings about the couch. just saying sorry you are feeling bad and are always welcome .

Dude I am just glad we have a place to post to like minded people and get support without having to start a thread and ask for it.

Not to change the subject or anything but....

I don't feel so bad for that little piggie ya know. Why you ask? Because this little piggie had roast beef.

Ok ... So ah , got a card for the W , a box of chocolates and kindle gift card. That should be good as we said no gifts!

MKAC - I thought the bacon seed thing was funny. And I like pigs. I also like bacon. I only eat it from ones where I know how they are raised and slaughtered. I don't mind dead, I do mind mistreatment.

So no gifts means gifts? This sort of thing confuses me greatly.

Good girl, Lola!!

All my h is getting is a card and a plastic heart container filled with m&ms!

Oh- and just back on the couch thing reallllll quick.

I get people may feel left out whatever. But what boggles my mind is why anybody could thing bad of a place where we are all nice to each other.. Yes, even the new people. We have NEVER run anybody off saying no you can't play here. WE give hugs, encouragments, laughts, and serious advice. So what if it is a group of the same people?? We are getting the support that we came to the board seeking!

Thanks. I don't get on the couch often but when I have it has been all the things you said. I too don't understand the negativity about the couch.

Ok.. With a thick Latin accent:

I dont always rest in a seat...
But when I do , its THE COUCH.

Stay crazy my friends!

Thanks for that Melissad!

No thanks needed. It's the truth. I've been going through a really rough time and the couch gets quicker responses and good laughs too. Best medicine is laughter, right? Or so I've been told.

I made dinner tonight.. Probably the first time in like 3 weeks (well, if you don't include microwave chicken nuggets, turkey dogs, or soynut butter sandwhiches).. I guess I have all the meds to thank for my sudden burst of energy!

I guess I should say thank you to you guys for being so accepting of those who only come on once in a while. And can't keep up with the couch. Moves to fast for this girl.

Im having subway!

Cracking up about the whole, I don't always sit in a chair, but when I do . . .
Too funny, Lola.

Sitting here waiting for marriage counseling to start. You would think that shortening the sessions to 45 minutes would help this guy run on time

Hello yous guys. Just checking in today...read and caught up on the couch. I wouldn't be on PC if it wasn't for this couch. Anyway....moving on....

Lola, how was T. Granite hope you are having a good appointment.

take it up with the what?
well if 'the council' is made up of Couchsters, the only outcome I foresee will be a rush to ante up with the OP & his Pdoc!!

Fixated, I've been around here a little while and I think that the amount of responses that pop up waxes and wanes pretty organically, even without the couch. A lot of it can depend on how available many of the frequent responders are. A couple of folks I can think have been very busy with their own stuff recently (and posted about that), but normally respond a lot. For a time I was very on top of things, but lately I'm just crazy busy, and that affects my couch and forum posting about equally.

I've also noticed a lot of names I don't recognize, and for better or worse, that often means less responding. In part, because we are naturally more drawn to people we know, and in part because new people often post asking for immediate help and don't respond to the posts of others. That's not a criticism of them, that just seems to me to be how it is. More people join the forum wanting help than wanting TO help, which makes sense to me.

And it can be draining to focus too much on posts from new members, because many do not return. Many do, but many do not. That's not a reason not to respond, at all, but it I think plays a role in my choice of which thread to respond to.

Do you think maybe this is hitting the part of you that's struggling with not feeling popular? Because even beyond the couch thing, it really does end up that more established members get more attention. I actually appreciate your bringing this up because I haven't been paying as much attention to newer members as I should, and I'll try to be mindful of that... maybe for every person I know that I respond to, I should respond to someone I don't.

To me, although the couch most certainly belongs in this forum, I think it's very different from a thread, and more like a chat room attached to the forum. And in that way it's like any large group. There are times when I hesitate to attend parties or gatherings because I feel convinced that no one really wants me there and I'm just getting a nominal invite. But that's really almost never true. It's just, when you have a bunch of people who spend more time together, and you try to hang out with them, it can be tough. People tend to naturally break down into groups. That doesn't mean they are exclusive or antagonistic. It just is.

I do think you have a point about the aggregate effect, and while it's great that the couch may be a better place for some people than the forum itself, I really do see your point. But, I'm not sure that it is necessarily a distraction since it's SO different from an actual thread. So I'm not sure you'll be very successful going into a crowded pizza shop and announcing that there are free tables at the burger joint next door.

Anyway, I know you see how this touches on your own issues so I won't push on that. But I do think you might benefit from maybe ignoring it altogether and focusing on the forum, if that's where you see yourself thriving. I do that sometimes, as there are many conversations here where I just don't see myself fitting into it. I think the couch easily takes on a symbolic quality, for the places where we feel we don't belong that we want to belong to -- even if our reasons for wanting that are kind of irrational. Many deeper connections are made privately, not on the couch itself, in my experience -- just like in life, I guess.

This is all kind of a long-winded way of saying, I've found in life that trying hard to "belong" somewhere that I find frustrating to belong to is often a recipe for unhappiness, and the place I'm trying to "belong" becomes a sore spot that becomes more sore than it probably needs to. I actually have been getting involved with lots of new groups within my workplace over the months I've been here, and each time, sometimes I click right away, sometimes I click with a few people, and sometimes the relationship builds slowly. I can get upset when I dwell on the connections that aren't working. So I've been trying really hard to focus on the connections that HAVE worked, and let the ones that seem to be missing either grow or not grow, but not stress about them. Because it's work, I sometimes have to build a professional connection within a group that I feel kind of "excluded" from, but that's a rather different thing.

I'm sorry this is bugging you, Fixated. Feel free to PM me .

I respond to threads where I think I have something reasonably pertinent to say. That is true regardless of the couch threads. I don't think it is a necessary tie between the two.

Hello Yous Guys

Well I guess I can talk about this at my next appointment.