[adam_k]

I want to get back into therapy but I don't know where to start. When I last went I was around 18. I was about 14 when I first started feeling depressed. There wasn't anything going on at the time, or any traumatic events, I just remember feeling immense sadness. It got progressively worse. I tried talking to my family about it, but they said I would just get over it, and to suck it up. A week after my 18th birthday my father passed away. The school had a counselor I talked to. After a couple of talks he realized I needed more help than he could provide. He referred me to another person at the clinic he worked at. I didn't feel comfortable talking with them, I eventually found a therapist that I found comfortable talking to. At the time I was a complete mess. I was dealing with untreated depression, the grief of losing my father and other stuff. Things started to get better, but I lost my insurance. I was able to get insurance though the state, but her clinic was not covered. I tried a couple more therapists, but I didn't like them and gave up trying to get help.
I meet someone, and that made my life better for a while. My family never really supported me, and gave me **** for going to a psychiatrist. That made me feel pretty guilty for feeling depressed. I tend to bottle everything up, which only adds to these feelings. After I meet my wife I started feeling a lot less depressed. Maybe it was being in love, or maybe I finally felt accepted. Things were good for 3 or 4 for years. I would have highs and lows, but the lows wouldn't drag out for months and I was able to manage them. I was working and going to school full time. I think that took it's toll on myself and my marriage. I haven't really dealt with the stuff that I went to therapy for in the first place. I made improvements in my life along the way. I stopped associating with my family members that lie and take advantage of me. I got a degree in engineering. I have a good paying job now. When I was going to school and working I just focused on the day to day and what I needed to get done at the time. I pretended everything was fine whenever I felt really depressed and focused on what I needed to do.
Now that I am done with my degree and I don't feel like a zombie anymore I am starting to feel depressed. I want to actually get some issues resolved and live a happier life. I have a big struggle with self-esteem, depression, and some issues revolving my dad. I tried calling my old therapist but she doesn't treat adults, only teens and children. How do you go about finding a therapist? I also have a full time job and I would prefer them to not know about this. Do therapist do weekend appointments or evenings? Do I just go therapists to therapists until one seems right? I am in the processes of getting a primary care doctor and my get to know you visit is next week. I though about trying some anti-depressants. I tried a couple in the past, but I was so overwhelmed I doubt they could have worked. (zoloft and effexor). Any thoughts or suggestions? Sorry for the long drawn out post.

[wotchermuggle]

Just a few suggestions....

a. Do you know what orientation the therapist you saw before that you got along well with? You might want to start with finding someone with the same orientation. If you don't know, you can Google them and see if it's online (eg. Cognitive-Behavioural, DBT, Pyschodynamic, etc)

b. When I first tried therapy, I emailed one place that had several therapists and asked if anyone had evening appointments. They did, so I was able to work full time and go after work for an appointment. The centre did NOT post this information online though, so don't be afraid to call/email and ask.

c. Don't feel too bad if you go to meet a few therapists before you meet someone you mesh well with. Sometimes you have to try a few people before you find a goof fit.

d. Starting with talking to your doctor is a great idea! They might have some good referrals for you and help you get going.

[critterlady]

I'd suggest contacting your old T and asking her if she has any recommendations of colleagues she has who treat adults. If that doesn't work, you can ask the primary care doc at your appointment.

Other than that, check with your insurance and see who's credentialed with them. Identify a few that have the qualifications you're looking for and call them for a phone consultation and see if you "click" with one of them.

Also, you can check psychologytoday.com to locate local therapists and read a little about them.

For me, and I think for most people, antidepressants work best in conjunction with therapy. Meds may not lift your depression completely, but they can get you stable enough to work on your issues with your therapist.

Good luck!

[Syra]

I found Psychology Today resources very helpful.

I think the rapport with the therapist is far more important than their treatment orientation. I have gotten a lot of help from a CBT, IFS, and someone who I'm not sure what to call the orientation, but we joked that he's sort of got an engineer's perspective on relationships. Theoretically I'm most in tune with person-centered, but the only pc therapist I had didnt' work so well. There's what they say their orientation is, and then how they do it.

NOnetheless, I really think IFS gives the therapist natural tools to make it easy and natural for them to be supportive and non-judgmental while helping to identify the issues.

Good luck. I often find getting started is the slowest part of the process, and you've already started that. : )


[COLOR="rgb(65, 105, 225)"]IFS: Internal Family Systems
http://www.selfleadership.org/about-...y-systems.html

http://www.personalgrowthconnect.com[/COLOR]

[adam_k]

She used CBT. Looking at the videos about IFS it seems interesting. I can relate with different internal roles in myself. Thanks for the videos syra.

[Syra]

Originally Posted by adam_k

She used CBT. Looking at the videos about IFS it seems interesting. I can relate with different internal roles in myself. Thanks for the videos syra.

You're very welcome. I found relating to the different internal roles initially a fairly easy transition. I think there are several people here that work with IFS, but I forget who.

I hope you find something that works well for you - either working it out with the current person, or finding a new person.

I had to find someone new under very difficult circumstances. It was hard! - and very worth the effort.

[Anne2.0]

Originally Posted by adam_k

I made improvements in my life along the way. I stopped associating with my family members that lie and take advantage of me. I got a degree in engineering. I have a good paying job now. When I was going to school and working I just focused on the day to day and what I needed to get done at the time. I pretended everything was fine whenever I felt really depressed and focused on what I needed to do.
Now that I am done with my degree and I don't feel like a zombie anymore I am starting to feel depressed. I want to actually get some issues resolved and live a happier life. I have a big struggle with self-esteem, depression, and some issues revolving my dad.

You have already done a LOT of good work-- refusing to interact with dysfunctional family members, building a good life for yourself, developing an awareness of your "defenses" (pretending everything is fine), and your desire to deal with the issues you've already identified. You are in an excellent place to move from into seeking therapy with someone that will work well with you.

I can relate a lot to just powering through school and then realizing on my first job that I needed to deal with my stuff. For me, I think my wise inner self understood that first I had to become financially and professionally secure, and then I could get to work.

My experience seeking a new T (I've done it twice, once in the same community and once in a different one) is that recommendations from others, calling therapists in the phone book or online, and then the first in person meet can all be important. I've had a number of one meetings with potential therapists and for me, the ones I know I will not work with or can't work with are easy to spot. My personal preference is for therapists who don't claim allegiance to a particular school of thought-- I look for people who say they are "eclectic". Degrees or massive amounts of experience are also not terribly important to me-- my most productive therapy has been with a MSW, but that is confounded with just being older and having been through more self-healing-- I've also seen an MD and a PhD. I think for me, just calling therapists and leaving messages was the most important step I took, along with realizing that I couldn't give up just because I didn't like some of them. My current t is part of a large practice and I just asked to be assigned to someone who knew something about trauma. In some ways, I think I was just ready to do the work and it didn't matter who I was working with, I was just going to get it done.

[adam_k]

There is a psychologist in my doctor's office. She is going to have him call me to set up an appointment. He is a male psychologist. I don't know why, but I found it easier to talk to female therapist. I'll give it a try.

[ECHOES]

If you prefer a female therapist, that's perfectly fine and it's okay to voice that.

Have you looked at Psychology Today's website? http://therapists.psychologytoday.co...rof_search.php

I knew from researching that I wanted a therapist trained in analysis, so I contacted the psychoanalytic institute in the nearest large city to me and asked for a referral to someone in my community. My therapist has been in practice for 30 years and was near completion of her psychoanalysis training. It's a great fit for me.

I have had psychologists and other types of therapists, and have learned that the type of degree doesn't matter to me. My current and most helpful therapist is a MSW but it is her experience and training and just herself (personality, style, whatever) that make my therapy right for me.

I hope you find someone who is a great fit for you!

Also don't rule out therapy at lunch, I was going 2 times a week on my lunch break and it worked pretty good.